Plea for Support - Scared in Sicily

[dlgilbert4]

Hi,


I am currently in Catania, Sicily, on vacation with my boyfriend. Last night, I went to bed early and he decided to "go out for a walk". He returned four hours later at 3am, drunken than I've ever seen him. He couldn't speak or stand. He of course promptly v*d, using the bidet instead of the toliet. I managed to get him into bed, but then he v*d again on the floor. I ran out to wake up the hotel manager since I couldn't handle the situation. The manager (he spoke Italian, which I don't know at all) helped me settle my boyfriend and covered the bidet with a towel so I wouldn't have to look at it. I stayed with my boyfriend for a while, but when he fidgeted, woke and sat up, and v*d again, I couldn't take it. I packed up all my stuff and left. I am now sitting in the hotel lobby waiting for the sun to come up. I have left my boyfriend a note, telling him I will meet him in Taormina (a nearby city and today's destination) this afternoon. He knows how to get there, has money, etc.


Is my behavior and response okay? I am still so scared and trembling, though it has been two hours since I left him in the room upstairs. I am also worried about the possibility of him aspirating v* and dying, but my fear is too great. I can't believe I have left him alone, but I have no choice. I just can't deal with it anymore. I am too scared to go with him to Taormina, because I am afraid he might get sick on the bus. This is a man I want to marry. I thought my love would overcome my fear and allow me to help him (or at least, ensure he won't die), but it failed drastically. What does this mean? Is it okay?


Please - I need support from someone who understands.


Thanks, Danielle

[redapple]

Your response is definitely OKAY. It does not mean anything bad about your character or about the love you have for your boyfriend. When our fears take control of us it is sometimes like we can not do what we would normally want to do -- such as care for someone we truly love who needs help. The trembling will stop, just continue telling yourself "I'm not in any danger" "I'm just panicking, but I've panicked before and I've pulled through"


I'm actually impressed that you were able to stay in the situation as long as you were before leaving. It was the responsible thing for you to do to get the hotel manager. That was very, very brave. I think if i were in that situation i would be too embarrased to ask for help and that would just make things worse. You did the right thing to protect your boyfriend by getting someone that could handle the situation better than you. I could go on longer but I want to send some encouragement out to you quick-- keep us posted

[wing]

Hi Danielle. Yes, like redapple said you stayed there longer than i would and asked for help. I wouldnt be able to do that at all.Your response was normal for an emet, and you're very brave. Dont worry we all understand. Anyway welcome. ^-^

[dlgilbert4]

thank you so, so much....

[2jo2]

Wow, I think I would have been out the door at the first v* so I commend you for staying and helping him as much as you could. Sorry you had to go through that, and there's nothing wrong with leaving the situation, it's the best you could do. I hope the rest of your vacation goes better and that you have a nice talk with your boyfriend about why you reacted the way you did.

[clairethebear]

You are brilliant and you did what you had to. I found myself in exactly the same position as you about 6 years ago and your story is almost identical to mine except for the location. I too couldn't handle it and ran off for the day leaving my bf (who incidentally is now an ex). I just completely freaked and had to get help as you did. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You have a fear. It isn't your fault. I hope you are okay now and that your bf won't do it again during your holiday. I hope he apologised.

[sparky2004]

If my bf did this on our vacation, took off somewhere than came back wasted, I would be very dissappointed. Aside form our emet, I find it very rude. I would tell him to do it elsewhere, and not around me. I don't mean to sound harsh, yet from my experineces, I do not deal with drunks,nor I do not babysit them after while they barf.


If someone chooses to get wasted, than they are excepting the consequences after. Edited by: sparky2004

[donna1216]

You definitely did all you could do--I don't think he's going to choke on it, although you might wish he would, haha, but since he sat up in bed and did it, I'm sure he's okay. My husband used to get drunk and do that to me--although the last time he was THAT bad that I was around for was 5 yrs. ago on New Year's Eve, when he decided to keep a 32 oz. Mc Donald's cup by the bed so he wouldn't have to get up. I slept in his roommate's room (we weren't married yet), since his roommate was gone!! I didn't stay in there to make sure he didn't choke on it, believe me!!!!!!!!
Let us know how you (and he) are doing. I'm sure he's going to be mortified when he comes to his senses. I just feel sorry for whoever has to clean it up. . . . .

[holly18]

hi i hope you are feeling better now. you did the right thing and dont feel bad about leaving him. You are very brave for sticking it out as long as you could! youneed to have a talk with your boyfreind because his behaviour was a bit unacceptable. He should respect you and your fear and do all he can to protect you, not expose you to what you are afraid of. Next time he decides he goes out drinking i hope he remembers both how bad he felt from being sick and horrible he made you feel.


Hope you are ok now, make sure you leave a good tip in your room for the maid!

[baseballplaya12]

You did the right thing, whatever is best for you im sure he will understand, u should be the one mad anyways.......I feel like i am not so much bothered by others v'ing unless its because of a bug....I was on vacation on a cruise a couple of weeks ago and my freind started v'ing and i stayed and helped her becasue i knew it was because of the alcohol and not something that i could catch....but thats just me and i know he'll understand don't worry