Almost Vomited.

[Jon]

I just started calming down from a Panic attack that's been going on for about 3 hours now. I started out of nowhere. I was SO scared. I was at the point I could have V* but I didn't. I was about to cry but I was so terrified I could barely think. I walked around the house talking to myself, and constantly asking people if they thought I was going to be sick. But I'm calming down now. I'm scared though that it may start up again later. I still have my moments. I just want to cry. I feel stranded and alone. My Grandma is a big help to me while I'm having a Panic attack. But I feel bad because I get very hostile and controlling when I'm panicking. I tell people to be quiet, to stop talking and to go back to their room. I just don't know what to do. This is living hell and I just don't think I can take anymore of it. My paremts refuse to get me help because they believe that my emet is just me making things worse than they really are. I need someone to talk to while I'm having an attack. I feel so depressed and ashamed. My family gets annoyed with me because I walk around having conversations with myself. I feel insane, like I'm literally losing my mine. I need some advice on what to do when I panic. I feel like I'm going to die. I just want to break down and cry. It almost happend tonight. I was about to run to the bathroom. I just can't accept the fact that it could happen. It's the end of the world to me. Please help!!!! :'(

[Jenwoods]

Awww I feel bad for ya ! Ive been in your shoes many many times b4. plus its hard to get people to understand Ur fear. they just don't ever seem to really get it! When I'm freaking out like that i go take a hot bubble bath stick some mint gum in my mouth and read a book or magazine . i concentrate super hard on what I'm reading instead of how my belly is feeling. i just stay in t he tub until i feel better and can go get in bed and go to sleep. i no its very hard to relax when Ur faced with the possibility that u might v ! just try and find something that you can do that will help to take your mind off of your belly! BTW your not nuts or out of your mind Ive had to talk to myself to help calm down and i also become very hostile and just want everyone to hush and leave me alone when I'm in panic mode!

[Jon]

Hey. I'm really on edge. I broke down and begged them to take me to the Doctor, but they refuse to even listen. They say things like "Go read or go watch tv." They don't understand that when I'm in Panic mode I can't sit still. They almost think it's funny in a way. They won't take me to the doc, they won't listen. I get yelled at for having panic attacks. I don't know what to do anymore. This is the worst it's ever been.

[Jenwoods]

Well Like i said its hard for people to understand what you are going through when they don't have this fear! Ive dealt with that my whole life! Its not there fault Ive come to learn Because to most people getting sick is yucky and miserable but they don't fear it like all of us on this website do and they just have no idea how bad it makes us feel!
i know your freaking out and its hard to settle down! They are right though If you could just settle a bit and read or watch TV it would really help to take Ur mind off things. I think that is the most important thing you have to try and focus on something else. Plus Ive learned from experience that the sv hits u out of nowhere and u v within a few hours of fist feeling sick ! So this attack has been going on for more then a few hours and you have not v . Not saying that you don't feel bad because I know that you do! This is a awful thing to deal with ! Really just try and focus on something! Like whats your fav thing to do? Or whats your fav movie? Find something anything that you can concentrate on other then your belly and b4 you know it you will feel better ! I'm gonna guess that you have been up all night and not had much sleep and that can make you feel crappy to ! Just breath You will get through this spell soon!

[Jon]

Hey. I finally fell asleep last night at about 1:30. But now I'm ok. I have my Ginger ale and Ginger gum. lol

[Jenwoods]

good im glad it all worked out for ya!

[andee]

Hi Jon, So sorry you are going through such a hard time...your parents really REALLY need to understand this. Can your grandma talk to them? If not, can you get another adult to talk to them? You need to get help for this. It angers me that they cannot see how much you are hurting...sorry but that is how I feel. Please keep trying and talk to another adult so you can get the help you need. Keep us posted...feel free to pm me as well...

[Jada2010]

PLEASE know that you are not alone and that all of us here are here for you!!!! We are all going through similar things and we can all help each other.

Theres one thing i really want to share with you. I bought Rich's Emetophobia Recovery Program and one of the things he talks about is how us emets always use the term "almost". He really stresses that if something almost happens, it still didnt happen! No matter how close we think we were to something bad happening, it still didnt happen. And we are still okay. Even if it did happen, we would be okay.
Plus i think most of us fear the feelings we get before we vomit more than the actual vomit... like obviously its disgusting and no one enjoys it... but what we all dread is the nauseous feeling and anxiet before it happens! And if it ever happens, God forbid, i hope you'll realize that you'll be okay and what you were actually afraid of was the feelings.

I hope this helps and i hope your doing better!
My thoughts are with you!!

[Jon]

Hey. Thanks for the replies.
I think I've found that thinking about being sick makes me realize that maybe sometimes it's not so bad.Its not really the V* that I fear, it's just the feeling that I get moments before I do it. It feels like it's not real. When I get that feeling I just don't know what to do. I talked to my parents last night and they made an appointment with an Anxiety specialist, they're waiting to see if the insurance will cover the cost. I've been feeling a little more anxious today. Today has been exacty one year since I last Vomited. And I feel weird thinking that I actually went such a long time without being sick. There were many times when I really should have been sick, but I won't allow that. It's like I almost forget how to do it. Last time I was just tired of being nauseous, and I let myself get sick. I cried while doing it, and that didn't help. Butthen after I felt amazing. I thought the fear was gone.. But I guess not. I'm now starting to force myself to do things I wouldn't normaly do. Like yesterday I walked a mile from my house, and today I actually forced myself to eat a Taco. It makes my anxiety worse, but I know at the same time it helps me realize that nothing ever happens.

[andee]

Sooo glad, Jon, that you were able to talk to your parents, and that you are seeing an anxiety specialist. Keep at it, make sure you are totally honest, and if insurance doesn't cover for some reason, find another one. Hang in!!

[Tina J]

Im so glad you got your parents to take you more seriously, thats a good start.
Also pushing yourself to do things you find difficult is really good. It sucks then and there, but afterwards you feel pretty amazing. Hang in there, your doing a great job.

[kbscared]

Jon, I feel so empathetic towards you-eventhoough my parents were wonderful when was younger -my emet peaked at age 19 then was fairly dormant until this past year-I'm 36- I still had issues with when people had SV* but it was better. Now it's back again but not as bad. Please hang in there, you can do this. How you felt last night I have felt 1000 times....it is HELL you are right! I actually let my anxiety get so bad without treatment I landed in the hospital for 13 days because I couldn't eat. I have been there and so have many others on this site- we CAN help each other thru this. Yes, it sucks, but I have more hope now than I've ever had...thank God...but trust me...I'm still very scared to V*-take care

[Jon]

Hey. I think I feel a Panic attack starting now. I think it's just because I'm hungry. I can no longer tell the differnce between hunger nausea, Real nausea, and just anxiety.

[kbscared]

I don't know if any of us are able to know the difference. Just remember what ever it is...it will pass! Deep breaths and keep in mind that YOU ARE OKAY!