It's getting old...

[ashandrobie]

At times I just want to be rid of this phobia! But there is still a HUGE part of me that doesn't want to be rid of it cause it keeps me safe...Does anyone else feel that way?

Since wednesday, I have been on this roller coaster of slight anxiety, to full blown panic, to imagined or real N*, not really sure about that one. My husband is deployed till mid June and I am pretty much here alone with my daughter and my thoughts.

I was feeling fine all day..starving for most of it till I finally got the courage to eat. (its been a slow process since wed) I was even feeling hungry a while ago and then all of the sudden, the anxiety hit again and I can't tell if I am hungry or not. Being hungry is one of the ways that I know I am "safe".
I know that logically I am fine..its been 5 days! But there is this sneaky little voice in the back of my head that says "Abbie brings home a lot of germs from school and are you sure that you have washed your hands enough?" Its driving me nuts!
I think that wednesday night was seriously traumatic for both of us!
I had a friend here taking care of her for me cause I couldn't bring myself to do it, but I have never, ever, in the 7 yrs of my little girls life, seen her that sick! I just can't get it out of my head!
Anyone have any advice for getting thoughts like this out of my head?? Even down to what she said her tummy felt like before the dreaded act! uuugggghhhhhhhhh!!

[musicXfashionXsugar]

It is my understanding that kids and adults are affected by different strains of SV, so that even if you came into contact with any of her germs you probably wouldn't get sick, especially no enough to V*. ...Does that help at all?

[ashandrobie]

yes that helps a little.
I just can't shake the anxiety...it scares me to think that I could get what she had!
I know what to do to avoid it..been doing it for years...but this time around seems different and more difficult

[cinque]

It sounds like you are very very traumatised by what happened Have you spoken to a doctor about your phobia? It will get easier over the next days and weeks!

You don't need the phobia to stay safe - your diligent attitude to cleaning and keeping yourself and your family will stay with you even when your phobia is gone xxx

[ButterfliesInHerEyes]

I understand, but emetophobia doesn't keep you safe. That's the biggest lie emetophobia tells you. In addition to it robbing you of your peace of mind and quality of life, it makes you more susceptible to the very illnesses you're trying to avoid because a) stress lowers the immune system, and b) the harsh chemicals used in over-sanitizing everything, weaken our bodies and strengthen germs. Even something as seemingly harmless as hand sanitizer... it's made with rubbing alcohol... our skin soaks it up... it gets into our body.... rubbing alcohol harms our insides.

About children -- all I can say is when my daughter was little, she caught things like kids do.... not one time did I, or my husband, or any adult who came in contact with her/us ever caught anything she had. Probably because by the time we ARE adults, our immune systems have already been exposed to those common, harmless, childhood things and so we have a stronger immune system and imminity to a l ot of those things.

And about not catching anything from my daughter.... Despite my extreme emetophobia at the time, I did not leave my daughter when she was sick... I stayed with her, took care of her, kissed her, cleaned up her vomit, etc etc. So I was in direct contact with it all, and not once did I get sick. Although my anxiety and panic related to emetophobia made me FEEL like I too wanted to puke, but that was my panic, not my daughter's illness, you know?

Hope that helps somewhat.

[ashandrobie]

Trust me, I have been to so many docs since I was 7. I am now 28. Especially as I have gotten older.
The phobia doesn't control every aspect of my life. It is just hardest when someone in my house is sick. I eat out, I go places, I do things, I am a generally happy person. But this last time was especially hard! I think a lot of it is that I don't have my husband here.