therapy didnt go well...

[ejb199]

hey there guys,
so yesterday i went to see a hypnotherapists/eft/regression therapist. i havent before but since reading the posts on past life regression i thought id try it and see what happens.

i was quit nervous that it would make me feel sick..and just being somewhere unfamiliar was scary too. the lady was really nice and understading. listening to what i was saying and taking it in. the thing is tho, we started with eft after talking for ages. she did the tapping on me and i had to say a phrase over and over after each tap - it just got so intense tho and i had such a massive panic attack and was convinced i was gonna be sick everywhere. it was awful and i felt so crap. she said maybe we should just do some relaxation and hynotherapy. it calmed me down and relaxed me. but i dont know if i can even do therapy. im just scared what its bringing up in my mind. i had such a bad headache all day yesterday and just felt crap - really annoyed at myself coz im too scared to even do therapy.

i keep thinkin - well im ok at the moment - plodding along not worrying about emet too much unless i really do feel ill - and i think 'hey, im happy this way - like what am i trying to fix'

oh i dont know - maybe i just cant let go of emet. maybe i dont want to. maybe im content to have this bit of control over mylife and maybe thats what makes ME...?

oh i dont know...

ems x

[sage]

maybe you just need a better therapist!


I would never take someone through tft (tapping,etc.) that was anxious. I'd want to get a reading on their anxiety, talk to them, soothe them, give them some tools to use right away to manage the anxiety....anyway...I guess I just don't want you to give up on therapy altogether just because you had a therapy situation once that wasn't helpful (more than that, indeed it made you worse...a therapist working with anxiety should try to ensure, as much as possible, that the client doesn't panic. If they panic, it risks making them worse cuz they associate panic with therapy then)...


Take a breather getting over it, and reassess...


On another note, although I respect everyone's religous point of view, and other spiritual beliefs they might have, "past life regression" is just NOT a standard acceptable treatment protocol for someone with a serious phobia. Some might even say it's whacko.


All the best in your journey toward wellness!

[ejb199]

I knew youd say that Sage! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img] and i knew going along wasnt def gonna cure me straight away. i dont even know if i believe in past lifes or anything like that. i guess i am just open to anything at the moment.... im kinda curious.

Anyway, i went to the doctor yesterday and finally i think i have found one that might be useful. i went in and was just like 'yeah, i come here evry 4 weeks, i see a diff person everytime, and i have to explain this everytime!' shes finally given me good advice on how to get off of the drugs im on. and shes given me the number of a cbt therapist in weston...there is at least ONE!

ems x

[sage]

Great! I really admire your focus and determination. It will get you far in this life, not the least of places to a life without fear.


Keep it up, and good luck!

[Jenneh]

heya,


im not really sure of the point to this post.... but yeah im just going to talk for a bit if u dont mind...


my opinion is this: no therapist is ever going to be able to COMPLETELY cure you of emet.... the point is, you need to get to a point where ur happy with things the way they are, (most of the time , because no one is happy all of the time) and u dont feel consumed by this phobia. see, i have a number of mental 'problems' but in the end, they make me who i am. i wudnt be me if it wasnt for them....if you take them all away, just like that, i'd have to learn how to be a human being again! i wudnt be Jen wud i? i'd be some creation the psychiatrists have created.


the reason i am going into therapy tho, is cos the mental 'problems' are too much atm... and putting my health in danger... as well as takin over my whole entire life and not letting me do half the things i'd wnt to. so i recognise i need to calm them down, a little bit...


i really dont know if/how this is related to ur post... but hey, ur a friend, im sure u wont mind me just randomly posting... =| <shuts up now>


Jen xxxxxxxxxx

[sage]

well....I guess this is one of those things where you have to speak for yourself. Whatever your goals are is what is important.


My goal was to be completely cured, and I am completely cured. But of course, I agree, my therapist didn't do it. I mean, HE didn't cure me. But on the other hand, I couldn't have been cured without him. He was the necessary ingredient in the formula - the one I searched for for years, but never found.


Anyway, if your goal is to cope with life, to deal with the phobia as best you can, to live life as a person with "mental problems" - cuz they "make you who you are", then that is certainly an attainable goal, and a noble one.


I only argue with these kinds of posts every single time, in case someone comes on here who would feel hopelessly discouraged by the words "no one can EVER cure you..." For someone who says to themselves "dammit - I WANT to be cured, and I will settle for nothing less". To them, I say: Go for it. It's possible. I did it, and so can you.

[Jenneh]

whilst everyone around me has been telling me my whole life "dont get too hopeful that nething can cure u compeltely, because it cant, and u will only be disappointed"... it can go both ways.. telling soemone they can defenitely get cured if they really try, can also be disheartening.

[japa]

Interesting .... so people have always told you not to get your hopes up and that you won't be cured? Are these people family members, friends, people on this forum? I am wondering because you are saying that you will never be completely cured, but now I am wondering if you are believing that because that is what you have been listening to from other people.

whilst everyone around me has been telling me my whole life "dont get too hopeful that nething can cure u compeltely, because it cant, and u will only be disappointed"... it can go both ways.. telling soemone they can defenitely get cured if they really try, can also be disheartening.

[sage]

I guess I understand what you're getting at, Jenneh...I think you mean that if someone says "you can be cured if you try", and you try and try and don't get cured then you feel worthless or not good enough. When in fact, it's a very serious phobia, and getting cured takes a TON of work, time, often money...results aren't seen quickly, for sure. So indeed it CAN be disheartening.


I tried and tried for years, and nothing got better. I guess I never got disheartened, more than temporarily. I just kept searching for a better therapist, a better treatment program...kept researching, learning about the disorder, etc. In the end I realized that the professionals were the ones failing ME - not the other way around. I refused to give up, and just needed to find someone who also refused to give up on me.


I guess when it's all said and done, I really believe what it says in my signature: there are no limits to the human spirit. You will get as cured as you want to be, as far along as your determination will lead you. For some, it is a lessening of the symptoms, while still having to cope with the problem in some form...and that's good enough...and that's just fine. But I would never be able to say "it's impossible to be cured"...that's just not me... it IS possible. If I had ever read a forum with a professional saying it's not really possible I might have given up hope forever. Hope is what drives the human spirit forward. No one ever got cured of anything without hope.

[leilanimessenge]

I definitely agree. There must be a way for me to go from how I am to how my boyfriend is (completely calm and capable of dealing with it without stress, anxiety or undue revulsion) He was there for me over Christmas when I had a rather violent bout of food poisoning. It was no fun, but he was there with me in bed right next to me whether I was throwing up or fine. He's my model. I want to get there, and I feel that I'm taking the necessary steps to get there. IfI thought that I never would be cured..I would have some serious problems with depression. I've been an emet for a while, and I survived..mostly be repressing it and feeling like it was just something I was going to have to deal with..alone. I felt that some people could handle it, and I could not..and that was just the way things were. This past year there have been a few incidences where I had to deal with it and I grew more and more afraid until I had to drop out of college just to get a hold of myself and try and get my life back. I've made a fair amount of progress and I know one thing; I don't want to go back to being the way I was..an emet but surviving okay. I want to be cured. I don't want to be afraid, I don't want the thoughts, I want to be fully capable of handling any situation that might fall into my lap like several people in my life can. I don't want a less-than-wonderful life, and dealing with emetaphobia is not the way to a wonderful life. Even before I was consciously having problems with it..these thoughts would come up and I was shocked when reading an Emetophobia FAQ because they would say, nearly word for word the thoughts that had been in my head since I was young!


Don't get discouraged if a therapy session doesn't go well. If that's not working for you, try something else. Everybody's an individual and everybody's more open to some things than others. It's important to find something that feels right to you. If you can't be comfortable with your therapy, you're all but throwing your money away...and nobody wants to waste their money. It's only been a matter of months since my condition fell apart, and I'm doing better. I've been seeing a cognitive therapist. The only exposure to vomiting my therapist has asked me to do was in my thoughts. Before I started therapy with my current therapist, a Psychiatrist mentioned exposure such as taking epicac to make a person vomit. Honestly, that's not the problem. Another thing that I read and agreed with on this FAQ. The physical act of throwing up doesn't feel particularly traumatic, and once I have thrown up..I'm not all that perturbed. Only after I have gotten over being sick does my phobia return in full-force. At times during panic from feeling nausea, I consider making myself sick just to show myself that I'm worked up over nothing.


Anyway, what I'm getting at is you really need to tailor your therapy. Emetophobia affects us all in slightly different ways, so it's silly to think that the same thinks will work for everybody. I DO think it's possible to be cured, that's what is giving me the strength to continue to move forward whereas I would've given up and quite possibly committed suicide (if this shadow will always be hovering over my head keeping me from really enjoying my life, what's the point of going through the motions of having one?)I don't WANT to die,I want to have a future...one without emetophobia. If other people can be around vomiting and vomit without stress, why would/should it be so impossible for us to get there too? We're not lesser people than they are. Phobias can be cured, why not this one? Why not you? Why not me? If you're content having emetophobia in your life..you can stop at a level you're comfortable with. I also want to say something else, having emetophobia is NOT the only way you can live a life

[fliss]

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I hope there is a cure somewhere out there! HoweverI have learn that YOU are responsable for "getting better" as well as your therapist and YOU have to take the initiative. [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


I have tried many therapists and all the conventional things that seem to have worked for EVERYONE else havnt worked. I now wanted to try past life regression as I seem to have treid everything else and strongly believe that it could be a memory from a "past life". [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]


I am still only young but have had this phobia for as long as I can remember. I know that it is up to me to cure myself as I am the thinker NOT the thought! However, all the past horrible thought s keep coming into my head and Im convinced I will be sick or even worse-see someone else be.


I know there is hope though! Does anyone have any suggestions of ways of coping?? [img]smileys/smilies_24.gif[/img]</TD></TR>
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[sage]

Fliss,


You might want to give some thought to the fact that it isn't the therapy method that's been the problem for you - just the therapist him or herself. Or the way they've applied the method. There are good and bad carpenters, cooks, teachers, preachers and therapists. Some of all of the above are beyond excellent. Others should have their licenses removed. The solid, standard therapy for this phobia is a coginitive-behavioral approach, in a "person-centered" setting where the client feels completely safe. This means you completely trust your therapist and feel safe at all times in his or her presence (eventually). If you have anything less than that, the therapy probably won't work that well.


Since there's no scientific evidence on past life regression (as in studies of outcomes of this "therapy") I'd personally not be able to endorse it. But even if you trusted the past-life therapist and felt safe, I'd bet you'd even get some symptom relief! Even untrained clergy (priest, minister or rabbi) who are willing to listen and care for you and commit as much time as you need have come up with amazing results in all sorts of emotional disorders! This is because the feeling of a trusted, caring relationship is the key to successful treatment.


LM - I loved your post. I'm going to print it out and put it on my bulletin board to remind me to keep coming here!

[trinity_13]

I've been coming to this great site for a while but only actually joined up the other day....don't know why it's taken me so long to join but am now glad that i have!


LM i just wanted to say that your post was wonderful, you so eliquently put into words exactly how i feel too. I am having CBT at the moment and am still at the stage that i am not sure, i really want it to work but just don't know how i am going to get from being how i am now (starving myself as the fear of being sick is so great) to being ok. I am hopeful but also reserved, i know i can't keep on going the way i am as it is getting worse and worse but i am also afraid to confront the fear as it overshadows everything in my life.


To know that i can come here and find others that are suffering from this phobia has been of tremendous comfort to me, just to read others experiences makes me feel that i am not alone, which gives me great strength, thank you for that Sage and all other members keep fighting it, it can be beaten!