Hello, I'm new here

[Beanerbell]

I'm happy I have found this forum after gooleing "emetophobia".
I am 29 years old and seemed to have this phobia since I was very little.
It has just gotten worse over the past 6 years, to the point that I have to now make excuses to leave my job, because somebody has or just had the stomach flu.
(like today) and in driving home, I just had a meltdown...i left work because of the possibility of one of my coworkers giving me the same bug she just had two days ago...not only that, but I am her manager and I basically told her she had to stay home when she told me she was ready to come back. I just feel awful.
Not only that, but I have an 8 year old, and I make it very clear to her that she has to be extremely germ conscious while she is in school...and now I see her getting upset if she touches her face with dirty hands. and I am the one that is causing it.

...I can't touch any food to my hands, even after washing them because there might be a bad germ on my hands and cause me the stomach flu...so at times, I have to throw my meals away...I clean everynight, I clorox and Lysol constantly, I wash my hands so often they ache, and are dry and cracked...If anybody near me coughs or sneezes I jump away..
It's just so awful. It's ruined my life...my personality....everything.
I don't know whether psychotherapy would help, or possibly being hypnotized...forget the exposure therapy altogether...I just really don't know where to go from here. I want my life back, and I want my daughter to live a happy carefree life withought my worries put on her.
If anybody has any advice, please let me know.
I want to be me again!!

[coolpk2003]

Welcome new friend I think all of us on this site understand where you are coming from. All of us on here have this phobia and to the extreme. I don't have children yet and my husband doesn't want any until I overcome this because he doesn't want our children seeing me this way. I freak out and get all crazy when I know someone is sick whether or not I've been around them or not. He doesn't want me passing my ocd's down to our children. Therapy is something my husband threatens me with and I always tell him it wouldn't work mainly because i'm not sure i can be cured or even want to Deep down we all want freedom from this but yet we hold on to it like it's a security blanket and we act like it keeps us from getting sick and to a degree it may sometimes keep us from getting it because we are over cautious and we fight it with our minds. If therapy is something you think could help you I say go for it. As far as your child goes I think letting her be a kid is going to be best. You may have to bite your tongue sometimes and let her go play in the dirt and then eat a cookie or something (maybe not to the extreme but you get the idea) just to get her used to not being so ocd...once her and yourself see she didn't get sick from it then maybe you both can relax a little bit more.

[olschesky]

welcome to the forum.....i hope you can find some comfort and help here. we all know how you feel......

are you on any meds for anxiety? for me, prozac has been a total lifesaver........it didn't cure my emet of course, but it keeps me from obsessing 24/7 about being sick.........yes, i still have bad days, scarey days, etc.....especially with this stupid noro going around.......but i'm way better about it on the meds........i've become way less ocd about stuff.........i've been able to cut out rituals, etc. my regular dr gave it to me for anxiety....i've never been able to do the therapy route yet......don't know that i ever will......

but i am able to live an almost normal life.......

almost always someone here if you need to talk.......

[InkedGirl]

Hi, I'm new here too. Thank you for having the courage to share your story and thank you to those who have responded in such a welcoming and comforting way!

I've been terrified of v* for as long as I can remember. I have a diagnosed with an anxiety disorder along with this particular phobia. I am taking anti-anxiety medication, but it just takes away the constant panic attacks - not the entire fear itself.

On Thursday, I was called into work early due to a co-worker being sick - even the message she left telling me that she was v* at work made my anxiety skyrocket. When I arrived, she was in the back room leaning over a garbage can that she had been using to v* in. I took extra anti-anxiety meds and went to work, constantly washing my hands. It has been in the back of my mind that I am going to catch whatever she had since I gave her a ride home a couple nights before this. Well, yesterday I felt so ill before work that I could only have a couple bites of food and a couple sips of coffee. While at work, I felt so ill that I actually took anti-n* drugs, but they made me so dopey that I could barely function. My manager asked me if I was going to be able to make it to work today and if not, to give a lot of warning. Looking at the schedule, I knew that we would have to make changes yesterday if we wanted to make it work, so we did. I just had to go into work to cover 3 hours since another co-worker offered to do a split-shift to cover for me.

Here is the worst part: as I was leaving work, my manager came to tell me that my co-worker who had been ill just had food poisoning and launched into a speech about how it must all be in my head. I had already explained my anxiety and phobia as best I could, but now I feel like I am being punished for it. So now I have a million questions running through my head, like wondering if she was lying and it was a bug? Or what if my anxiety is getting worse and I need to up my meds? Or what if my co-workers are going to hold this against me due to being short staffed and the split shift because they think it was all in my head?

It's not fair and I really hate living like this. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow for a refill on my anti-anxiety meds and I see a counsellor to help with it all, as well. None of it seems to be enough.

This has turned into a major rant and I thank you if you are still reading!

I am so happy this site is here and that I finally don't feel so alone.

[chocolategirl]

Good luck with everything!! I hope you feel better!! And welcome!!!

[SaSa]

Welcome, darling! I hope you find this forum as a great comfort! Stay strong ♥