Hi I'm new here and I'm so nervous :(

[stefanie]

Hi my name is Stefanie.

I'm new to this forum and I've been browsing it and have found it so helpful. I suffer from a fear of v* and I have since I can remember. I have a feeling it first started because my mother hates v* and when we were kids and would get sick she would run out of the room and get my father. Also I used to get sick all the time as a child and have horrilbe memories of it.

I now am a 27 (on sunday ) year old and I HATE HATE HATE how this fear effects my life. I work in retail and of course I hate it! I love my actual job but I'm always using hand sanitizer because being winter (adn canada) I'm always worried about getting sick!!

I live with my partner who I have been with for 5 years now and he really doesn't know the half of it regarding my fear. Last year he came down with the Noro virus and although I freaked out! and after I made sure he was ok (2 days later) I left for 2 weeks to visit my family and to get away from the sickness. I ate practically nothing during the 2 days he was sick and I was NO help to him whatsoever! I hated myself for not being able to help him or care for him properly I just couldn't.

He really didn't clue in that I was afraid of v* he just thought that since I have lupus (chronic illness) i was worried about getting sick which would probably land me in the hospital. He has never put 2 adn 2 together as to why I can cuddle him and be with him when he has a cold but not a sv.

Now that we are living together he is seeing me have "panic attacks" at least a few times a week, he thinks it stress and tries to help me through it but he doesn't know it's a fear of v that is causing it. I'll eat somthing or feel a little funny in the tummy and it'll set off this huge panic attack and he just thinks its stress.

i'm afraid to tell him teh whole truth for frea that he'll think i'm crazy or silly or stupid, he knows taht I can't stand others v like in movies and such and he's come to think of that as a funny thing about me but he doesn't realise the steps I go through daily with food, sanitizer, washing my hands etc... because of this very real fear.

i'm so happy i found this forum it's the first time I've ever told anyone the truth about my fear.

[kbscared]

Hi there! First of all I'm so sorry you are feeling this way-scared and panicky is about the worst way to feel. I've been dealing woth emet since I was in highschool (I'm 36)-Mine peaked at age 19 and again now! I hate it and jsut mentioned in another post how angry I am about having this fear and it controls my life!!
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Do you take anything for your panic? I take Prozac and Lorazepam as needed (lately about every day)
I also have been taking a ton of anti emetics-I think I had a stomach V* the other day- I truly was achy and nauseous to the point of standing over the toilet! I tool so many anti ememtics I think my body wouldn't have been able to V* if it truly had to!
Try to remember thru all of this that....you will be ok-TRULY- you are ok and your mind is working overtime to convince you that you are not ok so try and beat it! Keep telling yourself "I AM OK!!!" it can only help- good luck and take care

[kbscared]

to clarify I take prozac everday and I take the lorazepam as needed- you must take a med like Prozac everyday for it to be effective.

[olschesky]

welcome to the forum. i showed my husband the information section on this site.....it is really a good explanation of emet and also had him read a few of peoples posts so he could kind of get the idea of just how terrified i can get about this.......he is very understanding now......and i'm alot calmer knowing that he knows the truth and i don't have to lie to him when i "can't" go somewhere because of this stupid emet.

before i told him about my emet i threatened him with divorce if he ever laughed at me or made fun of me.....he knew it was serious then....lol