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  1. #1

    Default Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    Has anyone been at that low a stage that they feel that there's only one way out?

    I'm at my worst stage of emet and everyday is a losing battle, I don't do the majority of things I used to, I don't eat, rarely travel, rarely leave the house, I have noone to talk to, no family support, I tried CBT for a few month which didn't work- it's getting to that stage where I just feel like ending it all, rather than living in fear everyday of my life.

    I'm writing this amidst one of many panic attacks- I've just woken up, convinced I don't wake up for nothing, now think I'm ill. I just can't go on like this all the time.

    I know I shouldn't be thinking such things, but I have for a few month and don't know how to get out of the cycle.

    Has anyone been 'here' before? How did you get out?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,786

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    Have you tried talking to your dr and asked for their help? Theres always something else you can try other than thinking of ending it - you just need to ask the right people. Id be lying if I said there'd never been a time when Ive thought life and emet is just too hard to go on but I dont think Ive ever given it serious thought.

    If you could see what my life was like 18 months ago and how my life is now it would give you some hope. Thats not to say my emet has got better cos it hasnt, but I am enjoying life these days. For more than a year I felt extremely n* every day, had lost my appetite, never went out except to numerous drs and hospital appointments, lost contact with all my friends and just basically shut myself off in my own miserable world. After being prescribed anti-depressants (which I didnt want cos I thought I wasnt depressed just ill) I slowly started to feel more human, and to cut a long story short, here I am now with a job for the first time in over 10 years!!

    It can be tough but it is well within your power to gradually improve your quality of life. Take a chance and get the help you deserve.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,051

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    If you are thinking about harming yourself now, please either call 911, take yourself to the ER, or call a suicide prevention hotline 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-273-8255. You can call suicide hotlines if you need someone to talk to, they'll listen to you even if you AREN'T thinking about harming yourself right now. If none of these appeal to you, and you aren't actively suicidal, call your doctor and make an appointment to go in. You need help either way. You shouldn't have to feel this way.

    Believe me, even if you AREN'T "recovered," you CAN live a pretty normal life with emet! I am married, own my own home, work full time, am getting a PhD, get together with friends, and am planning a family. Do I have times where I'm feeling panicky and wish it would all just go away? Yes, but everyone has bad days, phobia or not. MOST days aren't bad though, and I don't have some super secret that makes me functional. I'm nothing special or brave or unique in any way. You CAN get your life back, but the first step in doing that is staying alive and getting help!
    "I'm not supposed to be like this, but it's okay" -- The Wrong Child, R.E.M.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    I've been to my GP but his basic attitude is to 'stop thinking about it', he won't put me on any other tablets alongside the anti-emitics.

    I've rang the Samaritains over here in the UK, but I just didn't find it any good, no benefit from it whatsoever.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    north carolina, usa
    Posts
    4,272

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    i agree with the other posters.......you should try really hard to find a therapist or dr that will listne to you. i'm also on antidepressants......didn't think i was depressed either.......i don't think i could ever commit suicide....but there plenty of times i wish i would fall asleep and not wake up......

    i'm not cured either.......but i have learned to live an almost normal life.....married, work, travel, etc with the help of prozac. i still have panics.......but they are alot less often and not nearly as severe or scarey.

    there are lots of members here from the uk......maybe you can find someone that lives near you that can suggest a good dr,,,,,,,or just be available to be friends with you and help you to start living again. you really need to learn to push through the scariness and do some simple things......the more you do the easier it becomes.......

    i wish i could help you more.........don't let this emet ruin your life anymore....you've got to start fighting back......no matter how hard it is....you can do it
    how i feel about emet
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2,305

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    Hi...please hang in there. I agree with the others and just want to tell you that things can and will get better. I felt like you after my mom passed...I wanted to go with her! Get all the help you can and be honest with the professionals. Take care and God Bless...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    550

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    If you need to talk let me know. I've had suicidal thoughts in the past, not because of emet, but I do know what ist like to think its the only way out. I have pretty bad emet myself.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    I too have felt like you feel right now...

    In 2009 i was ready to give up and became extremely suicidal.. I had decided that I was just going to quit eating for fear of 'it' and eventually die from malnutrition. I would try to talk to friends and such and none of them understand. I tried the one last resource I had - Vocational Rehabilitation. I had no doctor or therapist at the time, and I had no insurance or money to afford one(unemployed). vocational rehab took me in and since then has provided me with a Psychiatrist and counseling.

    I still have extremely bad days with my phobia(I've been in this since 6 years old, now 25), but some days aren't as bad. I am currently weening off Paxil and quitting medicines for good. Not because I'm better, but because they have never helped me. I want to try an alternative method.

    Anyways, my advice to you is this: Many people here understand what you're going through. We've probably all been through those days where suicide became an appealing option... But nothing is worth your life - not even this. Try to find something to distract yourself from your thoughts for a while, I find that to be very beneficial to me.

    I hope you feel better <3

  9. #9

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    Thanks for the words all.

    I don't feel like this when I'm having a bad day, it's all the time.
    I've tried every distraction in the book, all the breathing methods, bought all the books, tried CBT, tried Hypnotherapy, talking to a counsellor, to no avail. I don't have 'good' days, everyday is bad for me.

    I would try talking to friends if I had any, but I don't have anyone to confide in, my parents just think it's a joke.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    Quote Originally Posted by mizzy316 View Post
    Thanks for the words all.

    I don't feel like this when I'm having a bad day, it's all the time.
    I've tried every distraction in the book, all the breathing methods, bought all the books, tried CBT, tried Hypnotherapy, talking to a counsellor, to no avail. I don't have 'good' days, everyday is bad for me.

    I would try talking to friends if I had any, but I don't have anyone to confide in, my parents just think it's a joke.

    I understand.

    When I said distraction, I meant more along the lines of some sort of video game, or craft, something you enjoy doing perhaps.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    I even bought me a XBOX 360 to distract myself, doesn't help. I knit, I have a punchbag in my room. I tried that Emetophobia Recovery Programme, tried Sage's site. Nothing's working for me.

    I've tried my best and still am, but my emet is still there, with a vengence

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,293

    Default Re: Serious topic-Suicidal thoughts

    I wouldn`t say that I have thoughts of suicide or self harm, but I do get dark times when I`m really full of self-hate & I feel really angry with myself. It`s mainly disgust at my past behaviour, & the number of times that I`ve vted in my life. I find myself thinking : I`m so disgusting & weak, how could I let myself do something so revolting!, but this site is very helpful, it makes me realise that I`m not the only one who feels this way.

 

 

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