oh no

[nicki]

i really really feel like im going to v*. all of a sudden i feel really nauseous and light headed. i have an exam tomorrow, i cant be ill. im all alone, i dont know what to do

[lelam]

well how do you feel now, try to stay calm, it will pass!!

[2jo2]

Are you making yourself nervous and nauseous from the wings you ate? Or is this actual nausea?


The wings won't make you sick just becasue they were last on the shelf. They were popular today and everyone wanted them, no other reason. I know it's easy for me to say, but I'm telling the truth.


How are you doing?

[mystikal star]

If you need distraction you can IM me. My contact info is in my signature. Please try to relax. Hope you're okay.

[donna1216]

How are you doing?? Could you be nauseated because of nerves related to the exam?

[nicki]

it is probably panic, altho its so hard for me even to type that as i feel like im jinxing it. not long before the nausea i had a large black coffee, do u think that could have made me feel bloated and icky


if my nausea is due to anxiety it is more than likely over the wings as stupid as it sounds.


theres a million reasons why i could feel like this. Last night things really came to a head and i think i had some kind of breakdown, it started at around 2pm yesterday and at around midnight the security people at my uni had to be called cos my friends were so worried (not that any of them bothered to come sit with me, just took the easy way out and phoned security when all i wanted was someone who cared about me to hug me and tell me things would be ok). i eventually fell asleep at 4 this morning, had a really bad dream and woke up at 6 crying and shaking, after which i couldnt sleep again (the non sleeping has been going on for over a week). Today i have supposed to revise but have cried most of the day, i feel physically and emotionally drained.


i suppose the feeling ill could be tiredness. i so badly want to go to sleep but im scared of a) v* in the middle of the night and b) having another dream like last night and waking up like that again


the nausea has passed a little, ive got my bedroom window open to get some air and i have some coke to drink

[madisonsmom]

You ladies are wonderful support.





How are you feeling???

[nicki]

a little better thanks, i think im starting to feel a little hungry, i think maybe earlier i just got into a panic maybe (touch wood). Ive got the radio on at the moment and am dancing at my desk while trying to revise, but i guess as its 2am and my exam is in 12 hours i should get some sleep sometime soon


I really hope this is nothing, because if it is it will be another little bit of my ocd conquered, i wont be scared to buy the last product in the shop! this year i have so far managed to stop having to sleep with my bathroom light on (i have ensuite so it lights up my bedroom if i leave the door open) as i thought if i kept the light on i wouldnt be sick, and i can now sleep without my tv on too, for the same reason. My next major hurdle will be getting to bed before 3am, as that is my 'safe' time after which i feel i will be ok if i go to bed. On wednesday i am going to join a trampolining club to get me mixing with other people, im fed up of living in a bubble for fear of getting ill from them. Im determined to beat this this year.


In two weeks time its my 21st birthday and i really want to go out wiht my friends to celebrate, but i havent been to a club for over a year because last time i went someone v* while i was there. Sitting here now i can think it will be ok cos if people v from alcohol its not actually contagious. If i get through that night and manage to go out and not panic i'll know my life is finally getting back on track.


Id like to thank everyone so much for all their support, it really means a lot.