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  1. #1
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    It's like 12:30am here in California, which means there is no one on to help me or to talk to me! I'm in a downward spiral and omg omg I almost was just sick. I gagged... ran to the kitchen to take some pepto, signed on here, gagged again and ran to the bathroom where I stood over the toilet gagging then I was screaming and crying for my boyfriend to come help me. I want to die... I am so scared to go to sleep right now even though I'm exhausted. After the gaggy went away, I took a phenergan. But I'm still feeling like sh*t. My head hurts, I'm tired, my body hurts and my neck hurts. I want to die. I'm so sick of this feeling like crap all the time, and now almost throwing up!! I can't deal with this!![img]smileys/smilies_16.gif[/img]
    **No one knows what it\'s like behind my green eyes.**

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  2. #2
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    allie darling

    you're okay..just remember you're okay..nothing bad is happening to you right now. I know it's awful i am very sorry you are going through this right now. try to calm down a little bit, take some deep breaths through your abdomen. it is so frustrating and i know you're exhausted.
    *prays for you*

    you CAN deal with this allie
    you're one of the strongest on the site.
    DO IT TREMBLING IF YOU MUST,
    BUT DO IT!! -unknown

    Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. -dr wayne dyer

  3. #3
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    Come on Allie - you will be OK. i promise you. even if the worst worst thing were to happen right now then NOTHING will have changed. You will still be the girl you are now, your boyfriend will still be there, we will all be here and you will still be ALIVE. its ok.

    COME ON - i know you can get thro this...!

    ems

    xxx

  4. #4
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    oh gosh allie :-( u sound so destressed! how are u feeling now? as ems and bethany said, you ARE okay, it's over now, nothing bad has happened and nothing has changed, you're still here. when that sort of thing happens to me i try and think about the feeling and not the panic. if u sit down on your own for 2 minutes, and imagine how it felt when u wer gagging, but ignore that there was panic there, pretend there was no panic atall, how did the ACTUAL gagging FEEl? was it as terrible as u thought? do u think it was that bad because your body automatically panicked? if u wernt panicking in that situation wud it have felt so bad?
    sometimes a situation like this can be good 4 u, it gives u an opportunity to work out exactly how u felt about the situation and how u can control the panic next time so it doesnt feel as bad, try to use it as a positive, smile at it, tell it u dont care and it wasnt as scary as u thought - it will soon learn ! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]
    i hope u feel better this mornin!
    faith xxxx
    \'I know it aint easy, but thats okay because we\'re hopeful....\' - Faith Evans

  5. #5
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    Faith Marilyn is right - u need to try and get the best out of these horrid experiences. I know it feels AWFUL at the time. you know we all know exactly what u are going thro. But when i say that it really ISNT that bad - uve really gotta let urself go and trust me / us!!

    the main thing for me after i v*ed last was thinking - im still here - NOTHING at all has changed in my life. everything GOOD about it is still here and v*ing is such an insignificant part...its nothing - its no big deal. it happened - but im not gonna let it intrude my everyday thoughts.

    does that make sense at all?

    ems xx

  6. #6
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    hey girlie, how are you doing today?
    DO IT TREMBLING IF YOU MUST,
    BUT DO IT!! -unknown

    Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. -dr wayne dyer

  7. #7
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    Hey All... I'm still not feeling right today. I'm exhausted. I up and decided to come to work on three hours of sleep. I know I'm just exhausted. Completely worn out. Thank you all for your words. I was so scared last night. I became completely ridgid... my body hurts still today, my neck and my head. My poor boyfriend... I feel so bad for him. I think he deserves to be happy. Not with someone like me.


    xoxo


    Allie
    **No one knows what it\'s like behind my green eyes.**

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  8. #8
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    hey! dont say that! if your boyfriend wasnt happy he wudnt be with u, if he loves u he deserves u, if he makes u happy u deserve him too )
    im sorry you're still not feeling great, but atleast you survived hey ) xxxxxxx
    \'I know it aint easy, but thats okay because we\'re hopeful....\' - Faith Evans

  9. #9
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    Allie i hope you're
    feeling better as today goes on! I know what you mean about
    feeling like sh*t today. sometimes when i have really horrible
    nites of panic, the next morning when i wake up i am so glad the nite
    is over but i still feel as tho all the energy has been drained out of
    me.



    YOU MADE IT THROUGH!





    xxoo</font>






    Do what your heart tells you to-- even when your fears tell you not to.


    You are alive....so live.

  10. #10
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    I think I may be getting a cold... my ears feel kind of clogged and I'm beginning to sound kind of nasal. But that still doesn't explain my episode last night. I freaking hate that. Ew... just thinking about what I would have puked up freaks me out.


    xoxo


    Allie
    **No one knows what it\'s like behind my green eyes.**

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  11. #11
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    Perhaps you were choking or gagging on phlegm if you 're getting a cold??? I hope you can get some good sleep tonight. I'm thinking of you!!
    In memory of the sweetest german shepherd I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you, Duncan. 3/12/02 - 12/19/11

  12. #12
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    I didn't have any mucus. I still don't really at all. I hate this crap lol.


    xoxo


    Allie
    **No one knows what it\'s like behind my green eyes.**

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  13. #13
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    Allie - how r u feelin now? i think u just need to rest and try and sleep. dont go to work.

    i feel pretty poo too actually - not sick but im just getting a rotten cold and my throat feels like its on fire... [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

    ems xx

  14. #14
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    Stuff like that is awful! gagging and not knowing why would scare the crap outta me. hope ya feel better by now

  15. #15
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    Hey All... I just got up, I didnt' go to work today. I needed the rest so much. Its 10:40a here. I don't think I've been this relaxed in a while... I was drooling so much lol. I'm feeling okay today... we'll just have to see as the day goes on. I didn't go to sleep until late again last nigh with a headache and a slight ear ache on my (L) ear. So I called my boss this morning and said I'd be back tomorrow. I just need to rest. The good thing is my tummy isn't bad today. Hopefully it stayes that way. Thanks for all your support.


    xoxo


    Allie
    **No one knows what it\'s like behind my green eyes.**

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  16. #16
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    Hey Allie, glad to hear that you're feeling a little better. Get some rest!!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

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