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Thread: ....scared....

  1. #1
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    I've been reading a lot of posts and I notice that quite a few emetophobes are doing the deed and I'm petrified I could be next. I know it sounds selfish to only worry about me but it really hits close to home so to say, when an emetophobe vomits.And all of you who have vomited recently seemed to handle it so well. You come on here and tell us about it and you sound like a non emetophobe describing a vomiting event.


    And reading about some of you wonderful people vomiting makes me want to work harder to prevent it happening to me. More hand washing, staying in the house more, more anti emetics, etc. And some of you are vomiting in the Spring! I usually felt safest in the spring and summer but now I know you CAN vomit during that time. Omg.


    Part of me wants to stick my fingers down my throat and just cure myself--even though that wouldnt work probably. Now during the next nausea episode I have I'll be worrying that I will vomit. I always worry but I'll be worrying more now because I know it CAN happen to us and my turn has to come sooner or later--and I hope my turn never comes.


    I hope I didn't sound selfish only thinking of myself. I'm just...really scared...REALLY REALLY scared.
    <font size=\"2\"><font color=red>aol/aim screename: kraziqtashes&lt;br&gt;
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  2. #2
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    I totally understand what you are saying.


    I read all this and i sink lower and lower into this fear. It makes me think that I could be next. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I'm scared I won't be able to.


    I'd rather die than v*.

  3. #3
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    Don't worry mystikalstar you'll be fine! Spring and summer are the safest times. I dunno about other people but the only reason I got sick then was because I went to school when I had a crummy cold with loadsa mucus and then went and did hockey in the rain. And it is honestly not that bad, you feel really good when it's finished honest! And crazybeautiful trust me v* is 100,000 times better than death any day.
    [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

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    i'd rather die...honestly...
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    me too.

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    I'm doing the exact same thing. I'm analyzing every little thing trying to piece together exactly how these guys might be getting sick so I can prevent it.


    I really would also rather die than vomit. Really! death can be quick and painless...not so with vomiting.
    what a horrible night to have a curse.

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    I do the same thing..and it sucks BUT..


    we have to remember that the peopl who have done it are still alive and doing just fine..


    as hard as it is to believe..V* is not the end of the world for us and if we do it we will pick ourselves back up and carry on..


    I have to keep telling myself..that just ebcause others are doing it DOES NOT mean that I will...you people are hundreds if not thousands of miles away from me under different circumstances them me as well.


    Perhaps if it is really getting to use we should take a break from the site every now and then..go a day or two without visiting...


    Keep your chin up gals (and guys if your reading)...we WILL survive this..and we have to do it in a positive way and not let it make our phobia worse!
    And now I\'m glad I didn\'t know
    The way it all would end the way it all would go
    Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
    But I\'d of had to miss the dance
    Garth Brooks

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    I think about the same thing too, and I often think I'd rather do absolutely anything than v* or be around v*. It's almost like it's the grim reaper and it's coming for us one by one.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
    In memory of the sweetest german shepherd I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you, Duncan. 3/12/02 - 12/19/11

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    I know, I glad the others got through it, and admire it, but im petrified and don't feel "safe" anymore. sigh. what are we supposed to do now?
    ~*Jill*~ Teacher, Advanced BSc in Psychology

    "You can unlock any door as long as you have the right key". Mrs. Brisby, Secret of Nimh

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    Ironically I was talking to my therapist about other emets getting sick and saying it's not as bad. And I haven't even been on the site or known others here have done it recently. But she started telling me that if it does happen it's happens and you live blah blah and she's right but like you guys I say "SO!" That does no good now. I dont' know about you but when I feel good I can be rational and say "yes it's true I've done ti before and got thru it fine and so have others and it's natural and the anticipation is said to be worse and on and on" BUT feel a little sicka nd that's all out the window. I think we all (or most of us at least) have a tendency to make huge general assumptions and assume that there is a time coming or that because an emet is sick all emets will be sick when really that isnt' true. Emets were sick before this site existed and those who didnt' know still didnt' get sick then. So I think if we take it for what it is and not make it contagious via the internet we will be able to take soemthing useful from it and that is if GOD FORBID it ever happens to any of us again in our lives we know others w/ this phobia (not soem non emet spouting) got thru it and said they were fine and it wasnt' so bad. To prove I'm definitely nuts as I type this I wonder if I've jynxed myself but I'm gonna post it anyhow because the rational part of my brain knows it's true. I hope you guys are feeling better about this and keep in mind the nonemets who dont' get sick very often or hardly ever. I was thinking about my mom the other day and in my entire life she has never(thank God) been sick from a virus, even when my brother and i were sick and she cared for us. She's been sick from eating soemthign that sat out too long and from over eating but she has also admitted she "let" herself so she'd feel better so....and she doens't care if she gets sick so maybe that can be a little helpful thought?
    \"As soon as you trust yourself,you will know how to live.\"
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    \"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.\"
    Benjamin Franklin

  11. #11
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    What a great post, Simply! And thanks for being so encouraging, Hannah!


    For me, the v*ing experiences by emets has been positive. I work every day toward convincing myself it isn't scary, and that it isn't a big deal. I practice thinking that ALL the time. And when I hear emets say they got through it, it helps a lot. Pretty soon, I'm going to start believing it!
    Soluene

    If you are going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill

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    Quote Originally Posted by mystikal star
    i'd rather die...honestly...

    I feel the same. I know its an awful thing to say, but thats how I feel. I was really nauseous once, and I was crying my eyes out and shouting out that I'd rather die, and my parents went mad. I've never told my therapist though, it just sounds so dramatic.


    I know what you mean about it being your turn soon. I've been feeling exactly the same. Eveytime I come here there seems to be a post from someone who has v**** Its making me so nervous!
    \"You are beautiful, no matter what they say \"
    \"Too many Years, fighting back tears, why can\'t the past just die? Try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try\"

  13. #13
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    I am finding the posts about emets actuallyv*ing a bit difficult to deal with too. I guess we read about other people and hope thay they will be OK and not do the deed and then when you keep reading and they have actually thrown up, it makes me feel terrible for them and also selfishly, for me!


    I rely on all the other posts about people feeling bad and then coming through it without actually v*ing as it helps me the next time I am sitting up in the middle of the night feeling bad. Last night all I could think about were some posts here about some poor person v*ng 10 times in a night, which I have never done and the thought of it scares the life out of me. I guess I should not read those kind of posts as it is so much better to concentrate on all the hundreds of times each of us get convince that 'it' is about to happen but it doesn't.
    JaneL

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    I've been having the "heebie-jeebie" vibes too about v*. I noticed a few on here have gotten sick recently. For some reason, the month of May is scary. I keep hearing this voice in my head saying, "This is the month. It will happen in May." I don't know why and I'm freaking myself out. Ugh. I hate it that emets are not completely immune from v*. I wish we were!

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    The difficulty is that a phobia is an IRRATIONAL fear - so it doesn't matter how logical and rational we are about it, once we're in a situation where we feel threatened by v*, the only thing that matters is preventing it - any rationality we may have goes out of the window! I understand what some of you are saying about how reading about others 'doing the deed' can be difficult. Like Jane says, the best thing to do is to use your will power and not read the posts which are marked 'graphic' or clearly about one of us 'doing the deed'. Because at the end of the day, although simply is completely right in what she says, we are unable to be rational about v* so best avoid any triggers which make the emet worse, including some posts...


    hope this helps!
    love esther xox

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    okay, when i see so many people saying they'd rather die than be sick, i think, "there's something seriously wrong." would you REALLY rather die than be sick? I have a very close friend who is dying of cancer, who is doing everything in her power to fight to stay alive....I know that may not help but please, let's try to be a bit rational here.....I'm as much of an emetophobe as the rest of us but I think one of the first steps we have to take toward healing is trying to be rational and using language that is NOT so explosive.
    <font size=\"4\"><font color=MAGENTA><font face=\"Times New Roman, Times, serif\">It can, and does, get better with time.</font></font></font>

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    It doesn't matter if the language is explosive. This fear ISN'T rational. That's the point. It's hard to think straight with this phobia.


    "theres something seriously wrong". Yes there is. This phobia makes us think like that. I don't want to think like that, but I do. It's not my fault.


    Sorry to hear about your friend being sick, I don't think anyone wants to offend anyone else, it's just how we feel.

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    Quote Originally Posted by e-lizabeth
    okay, when i see so many people saying they'd rather die than be sick, i think, "there's something seriously wrong." would you REALLY rather die than be sick?

    Yes-I really would rather die than be sick. And I mean that. Or atleast I think I mean it.


    And sorry about your friend E-lizabeth. Iwill pray for her.
    <font size=\"2\"><font color=red>aol/aim screename: kraziqtashes&lt;br&gt;
    dontwannabeme17
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    I know that rationally there is no contest - however bad the phobia, being sick and dyingare on a different levels. But when I am panicking and feeling so bad and so scared, the fear is like a pain that you can't escape from and I just want, at that time, to not be conscious to escape. I think that's why some people can say that they believe they would rather die than throw up. Perhaps that's juts me but in the middle of a nausea/panic attack I just don't want to be in my head any more!
    JaneL

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    I don't know if I can make sense here or not but...


    I think some of us are saying they'd rather die than feel the intense, horrible FEAR that this phobia is about. The emets that actually did the deed got through it because the body and mindended up separating the fear from v*ing - no matter how temporarily (or hopefully, permanently!). And I really do think that is what would happen with any of us! V*ing is such a primitive action that I think that part of our mind takes over when it happens. Although fear is primitive too, it is a very complex situation in our brains that link them together.


    Anyway, I'm trying to say that the FEAR is the problem and that is what must be targeted in overcomingthe phobia.Avoiding anything associated withv*ing, increasing your rituals and avoidance behavior, and worrying - all those will only make the fear worse. Fortunately,those arealsoall things over which we have control, should we choose to use enforce it. I have been enforcing my own control to the best of my abilities during each stressful situation, and now the fear is finally fading.


    Remember, the goal is to fight the fear, not the deed!
    Soluene

    If you are going through hell, keep going. -Winston Churchill

  21. #21
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    We've got to think positive guys, we can all get through this.


    Unfortunately I v*ed last Christmas day, and I was so shocked because for some reason I thought that there was no way it would happen to me on Christmas Day... it really knocked me back for a while, because I felt that I had totally lost control although, looking back I think that after about 10 hours of panicking, i was so exhausted that I just gave in. If i had have put up a fight then i could have stopped it. Let me say this... I also used to think that id rather die than v*... but i no longer think that at all. There are so many people worse off than us.


    I dont know about other emets, but before that incident I truly felt as if I was immune to it, and that v*ing wouldnt happen to me. Well, after that experience, although i havent been cured of emetophobia, i can say that I do not feel as half afraid as i used to because it is seriously not as bad as I used to think. In my opinionthe initial fear, and the panic attacks, are worse than the actual deed itself - horrible but true because, we all live with the fear 24/7, where as v*ing only happens once in a blue moon (knock on wood)
    We've got to try and see it differently... yes, no1 likes v*ing, but at the end of the day... my mum has always told me that its really not that bad... in fact its a relief.


    Also ive also heard that some people r actually able to stop themselves from v*ing. My mums friend, has not v*ed for about 20years, simply because she can control it - it seems to be one of those things that emets are able to do.


    Anyway thats my opinion lol - i hope i havent babbled on too much. I'm sorry to hear about ur friend e-lizabeth, shes sounds so brave.


    Take care everyone - Keep Smiling [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]We can get through this, we really truly can! Just think of all the fab things going on in ur lives right now, and how, this stupid [img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img]fear is not going to stop us enjoying them. Be positive - Rachel xxxx

  22. #22
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    Soluene - I think you should be called "guru" and me "sage", huh? You're amazing. You should go into psychotherapy - lol!


    Anyway, I sure feel for all the people who say they'd rather die than vomit.I used to be like that - TOTALLY. It took me a long time to figure out that vomiting actually EQUALS death in my mind (or did, at least). It was like - the same thing as some horrible, horrible death. Some horror movie of a person being tortured to death slowly and painfully. That was how strong the fear was.


    So as Soluene says, it's not that you don't want to vomit ever again (really). It's that you don't want to feel that horrible TERROR anymore. Vomiting is not your enemy (honest). The terror IS. I know this is rational and logical n'all...so not much help. Being as the rational part of your brain plumb shuts down during this intense fear...but for some who don't suffer quite as much perhaps it can be insightful.


    The incredible loneliness is hard to take, too. Nobody understands. Nobody "gets it" that the fear is that intense, and real...and there's nothing you can do about it. All I can do is to hold up a candle of hope to everyone. You don't have to feel this way forever. I know it's particularly tough when you're young, but as you get older you'll fear it less, because your brain will "catch on" that you won't be sick every time you feel sick. At that point, save your pennies for a really good therapist and treatment program. Because there IS good treatment out there, and there are people who understand and care deeply. Once I found someone who did, the cure didn't take long. And it's been 2 years now...and I just keep getting better and better and better. Today I was in the hospital just embracing a man who was vomiting every 20 minutes (a weird drug&amp; weird reaction- don't panic - doesn't apply to you - lol!). I felt sooooooo sorry for him. And to think that 2 years ago, I was DEATHLY afraid of a funny picture of an egg with a face drawn on it and yolk coming out the "mouth". Amazing.


    Anyway, a little time, a caring therapist, and a good treatment program and you won't feel like you'd rather die. There IS a new day a-dawning!
    For more info about emetophobia and treatment:

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  23. #23
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    Thank you Sage and everyone else for your helpful comments!</font>Edited by: giff1949
    Debbie

 

 

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