A Solution to the Problem of Streaks?

[orton99]

Had an idea that I'd like to share and see what other people think, especially those who have overcome/are well on the way to overcoming the phobia.

Okay, so my starting point is the recent realisation on my part that my precious, perfect streak (since 30th June 1983), far from being a source of pride is actually harmful and a completely false comfort, as by having it at all I'm by definition placing huge importance on not being sick, so feeding the phobia. By seeing it as so important I'm saying that losing it would be terrible and disastrous, so feeding the phobia. By keeping it going so long I end up forgetting that maybe, just maybe, being sick isn’t that bad after all and so remain scared stiff of it, so feeding the phobia. By its very nature, keeping track of how long I haven’t been sick is a form of avoidance, so feeding the phobia.

Now, I'm not about to down a glass of saltwater to get the monkey off my back (!), but I can try a mental exercise which is the next best thing and at any rate I'm not so sure this is about the physical act of being sick at all. Bear with me, I'll explain! As I said in my post to the "How long has it been" thread in the Q&A forum, the closest call I've had since 1983 was last August when I had a stomach bag and retched two or three times. I wasn't sick, but in all honesty I should have been. I certainly felt as if I was going to be with each retch, could taste it in my throat and probably only stopped it by coughing/choking/swallowing it back down each time. Plus, it was undoubtedly the most nauseated I've felt since the last time. In short, I couldn't have come any closer and so my streak really should have ended that night.

So here's my idea. Seeing as it was such a close call, why don’t I simply pretend I was sick? Why don’t I pretend (and that's the beauty of this, as it really would only need a slight exaggeration) that my streak was snapped at 27 years, 6 weeks and is now gone forever? How would I feel about that? I'm not sure if this is going to work but I'll certainly give it an initial go over the next few days and see how I get on, although of course well over 27 years of thinking patterns probably can't be erased quite so easily and may need a bit longer…! A phobia is a mental thing - no one is born with a phobia, it's something that your mind creates in order to keep you safe from perceived threats - so I really do believe that the solution is a mental one as well, which is why I don’t think drinking salty water would help. But having come round to the idea that my streak, far from being the solution is actually a large part of the problem, I'm now moving on to the idea of voluntarily ditching it for my own good.

So what does anyone else think? By the way and with all due respect please don’t reply with anything like "that's stupid because you weren't actually sick no matter how close a call it was", as that isn’t the point and at any rate convincing myself of this is my problem, not anyone else's. No, my interest is what anyone - and I'll say again, especially anyone who's overcome this phobia - thinks of it as an idea. Am I on the right track to try and move away from being so pleased with my streak?

[rachel1989]

Hi,

I completely agree with your theory about Streaks. Infact, I don't have one and I refuse to enter into any discussions about it because I think it's just ridiculas to be honest. Now for anyone else reading this, please do not take offence- I know some of the members are very serious and proud about their streaks and that is fine, of course. I am not criticising you , I am just saying that for fighting my own fears, I do not see streaks as beneficial.

Anyways, I had the same thing as you in Dec- I was very very nearly sick, I should have been sick and I now count it as being ill because although nothing came up, I went through the motions. I think to help recovery it certainly important. How long you have gone without being sick has NO RELATION as to when you could next get sick.I am not trying to frighten people, but you could be exposed to getting a stomach bug every single day and no matter how big your streak is, that will not stop you catching a bug. The day I last threw up, It doesn't matter, I can't even remember what date it is exactly because I attach no importance to those things...Avoiding drinking a certain juice, avoiding wearing the pjs the last day u were sick in them WILL NOT MAKE U SICK. Bugs, pathogens, viruses make u sick...not going to bed at a set time, or avoiding certain foods. And people who have vomitted 3 years ago or 25 years ago have the same chances of getting bugs. I think it is really important not to attach any importance to dates and as for your streak, yeah I would say the last time u were sick was that time in August because you pretty much did do it, you went through the motions..yeah it didn't come out but u had the experience of feeling terrible, feeling it come up and therefore u can regard urself as being sick and ur streak has ended.

A good healthy attitude and I like it xx

[orton99]

Rachel, thanks for that! I'll discuss it with my therapist on Tuesday, but this does feel like I'm on the right track in changing my thinking this way. In fact, I was only asking for people's views out of curiosity as I feel quite sure in my own mind that this is a step in the right direction.

In short, the current manifestation of this phobia (which started when a family member had a stomach bug two months ago) is the worst it's ever been; I've had this phobia since childhood yet have frequently gone literally years at a time with hardly thinking about it, but these last two months have been horrible, utterly obsessed with it, hence my feeling that enough is enough and signing up to both a general therapist for the cause and a soon to start CBT course for the symptoms.

As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same things you'll have the same results, so for me the obvious target to do something different is to stop being so flippin' pleased with myself at how long it's been!

[hairyfairy]

I know that it seems silly to a lot of people, but my 14 year streak makes me realise that I can have some control over my body, & that vting on a regular basis is neither necessary, or inevitable, which is what most people seem to think.

[orton99]

Hmmm, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. My starting point for trying to grt rid of this horrible phobia is to use the rule of thumb, "How would someone who isn't emetophobic respond?" and go from there. Of course, if behaving in that way was that simple we'd all be laughing, but it does give me a yardstick of where I want to be and in this case it's easy - people who don't have this phobia do not keep track of when they were last ill, so if we want to join them in the world of phobia free then that's the state of mind we should be aiming for.

Plus, I'm afraid I also disagree with your claim that being sick is neither necessary nor inevitable as I can envisage times when I may well need to do it, if for example I've succumbed to food poisoning and there are bacteria and toxins in what I've eaten that simply have to come out again. In fact, this was one of my motivations in starting therapy as even I, scared stiff of being sick that I am, can see that the day may come when "willing myself not to be" is actually the wrong response.

[KaydeeJayde]

Orton, this discussion about the necessity of vomiting has been had many times before. I completely agree with you. It's an inevitable thing, and in certain situations, it is also necessary.

I also LOVE your theory on overcoming the phobia. However, although I'm not afraid of myself getting sick so much, I still remember the last time I did it. I don't keep track, it's just something I remember, and I don't think of it as a 'streak'. I only remember it, I think, because I have a stomach made of steel, and I don't vomit. It's just not something that I regularly do, so when I DO, it's a big thing, but then my boyfriend, who's got a horribly weak stomach and used to vomit maybe once a week or more, doesn't remember the last time he did because it's so normal for him.

[olschesky]

most non-emets don't remember the exact date they get sick......they might say "oh, i had a sv last winter" ....i would love to be that way.......but as an emet for over 50 years my mind doesn't work like that......i don't dwell on my sick dates.....but i certainly remember them.....i don't think i would be able to "substitute" a sick date with a non v date....if that makes any sense.......i could tell myself that my "streak" was broken.....but in my mind i would know it was just bs because i didn't actually v.........

don't know if this makes sense to anyone but me......just sayin'

[iNurtureTheOdd]

I think everything you said is hugely powerful. I agree that for most of us this phobia has very little, if anything, to do with the physical act of vomiting, and more to do with whatever terrifying emotion (ie fear/panic) we have associated with it. That explains why most of us who have vomited since developing this emetophobia still have it. If this were not the case, after vomiting, we would all be like, "Oh that wasn't pleasant but it wasn't THAT bad," and our phobia would be gone. But it's not.

I also think that because you did retch a few times, tasted the vomit in your throat, basically went through all the motions of vomiting, that that IS vomiting in a way... except nothing came up... so more of a "dry vomit" if you will. So I would argue that you don't have to pretend your streak ended, it DID end. The worst part of vomiting is not when the contents of your stomach comes up, it's all the nausea and retching and all of that.

I think that keeping track of these "vomitless streaks" and hanging on to them like trophies of some great accomplishment, is really negative and counterproductive because, as you said, it feeds the fear.

[orton99]

Well, it took a month but I'm finally getting some responses to this thread!

I agree completely with iNurture as I think that, to paraphrase FDR, we are fearing the fear itself! It's true that I was pretty scared and anxious that night in August but what's also true is that, after a couple of hours of nausea (although this was only after a couple of hours and not right through!) I was sat in the bathroom and actually did think, "If it'll make me feel better than bring it on!", which is on the face of it a pretty astonishing thing for an emet to think. It's not quite that simple unfortunately as my reflex reaction to retching was to try and swallow it back down each time before I finally thought "just do it!", but it does make me wonder what it is I'm really scared of here.

Plus, although I did panic on the last "official" time I was sick back when I was 10 (in fact I clamped my hand over my mouth so violently that first time that I actually scratched my face quite badly), what I'm drawing encouragement from is the time before that, at 9 years old, when I was sick twice one Sunday afternoon and remember cheerfully telling my aunt afterwards that "I don't mind the being sick, it's the feeling sick for a few hours before that I can’t stand". This not only tells me that the act itself is perhaps not the real issue but also that my phobia hasn’t always been this bad and if that is the case then it is also (hopefully) reversible and treatable.

[hippychick]

When I see someone posting about a vomit free streak, whether it is a year, 5 years or 30 years I always just think...at what cost? Good job on not vomiting for 30 years but what has the anxiety cost you? Friends, family, missed trips, missed oppurtunities. I think it's a little sad really. I would rather celebrate anxiety free years than vomit free ones because it is the anxiety that is hell, not the vomiting. I mean what's the point in bein vomit free if anxiety is destroying your life??

[pretendworld_]

When I see someone posting about a vomit free streak, whether it is a year, 5 years or 30 years I always just think...at what cost? Good job on not vomiting for 30 years but what has the anxiety cost you? Friends, family, missed trips, missed oppurtunities. I think it's a little sad really. I would rather celebrate anxiety free years than vomit free ones because it is the anxiety that is hell, not the vomiting. I mean what's the point in bein vomit free if anxiety is destroying your life??

I totally agree with this. When I hear of people going 30 or 40 years without v*, I often wonder how much they have missed out on. It's been about 12 years for me now but I've still managed to do most, if not all, of the things I would normally do regardless of being emet. I still go on planes, drink alcohol, eat at restaurants, go on road trips, go on boats, go to theme parks etc..I just feel sorry for people who are unable to do any of those things because of this phobia.

[ann32]

Well I haven't vomitted in 23 years and I'm proud of my streak and I miss out on nothing. I have kids animals, eat whatever I want, travel etc.

[wargerbil]

I don't know offhand how long it's been, I don't know the day or year I last v*, or the day/year that I last dry heaved (which was much more recently). I can sort of figure it out to an approximation. I guess that it isn't so much an obsession with me.

[hairyfairy]

If vting is necessary & inevitable, then how do people like myself, & other people on this site manage to avoid it for so many years without coming to any harm, & how do you explain people who have never vted, ? I have heard about such people.

[orton99]

Well, I don't think I have to explain it. Assuming I pretty much was sick back in August I went 27 years without doing so but still (all but) succumbed to a bug eventually. Various family members have also gone years between bugs, but the crucial difference is that they don't think about it in terms of a streak. In fact, they scarcely think about it at all and that's what we should be aiming for.

With a planet of 7 billion people I don't doubt that the law of averages can produce some pretty extreme things and that some people who've been extraordinarily lucky/have very strong constitutions can go their whole lives without being sick. I mean, those couple of days in August were the first days off work I'd ever had since leaving uni in 1994, so I'm not far behind them myself!

However, none of that changes the fact that all you have to do is replace all that good luck with a bit of bad (eg eating something past its best) and all of a sudden you've got fp and you need to v. In that situation, it would be "inevitable".

[Tasha'93]

I've just sat and read through every post in this thread and to some degree I understand and agree actually with what most people have said.

For example, I agree with what people say about remembering the last time they vomited, and sort of feel good about it when it's been a long time since the last time they did.. as i'm very much the same and no doubt most emet's are. However, due to my state of mind right now I wont and very much refuse to agree that you should let yourself vomit. The only time I agree that you shouldn't try and will yourself out of being sick is when you've over done it with alcohol and obviously when you have food poisoning, but then again, how many emet's are there that let themselves get into such a state due to alcohol and surely, and this may be a bit controversial, how many emet's eat foods that are high in risk of food poisoning? Any through and through emet especially watches what they eat due to that fear of getting sick.. surely? That's the way I behave anyway!

[hairyfairy]

I can never really agree that vting is necessary or ineviable unless a person has eaten something poisonous, & I`m pretty sure that all the times that I`ve vted in my life, I didn`t really need to, I just got caught out without realising that I could have stopped it if I`d known how.

[hippychick]

It's funny, my GF's parents (who are seperated and don't see each other) both had vomit free streaks off 20-30 years and within the last month both have had the stomach flu and thrown up. I keep joking to my GF that it is comng for her next (she also has not thrown up in 20 years, unlike me lol)

It's a very rare person who won't ever vomit again in their lives. I'm thrilled for you if you are one of them. I think there are times where vomiting just can't be stopped It's not case of "letting yourself" do it, sometimes it's gonna happen.