Recently, I have been thinking that one day i will V* and i get these terrible vivid images of myself V*ing. I get totally grossed out and N* and I think how gross and scary it will be when i do V* it's like I am waiting for it to happen. Anyone else get this?
Also, Due to my emet i have lost about 15 pounds. I gained 6 1/2 in the past 4 months because i am seeing a doctor that I got to every week to get weighed and checked. I also see a nutritionist. She is trying to get me to eat foods that I am afraid of and have a lot of fat. After i gained those 6 1/2 pounds recently it's been really hard to gain. I am really trying. I try to have ice cream every night but I get really full. I only eat like 7 different foods and its so hard to get back to eating stuff i used to that I am afraid of. I just feel kind of hopeless like there will never be a day where i can eat whatever I want and not be worried or nauseous. Any advice? feeling kind of hopeless