Another bad day

[moonshadow]

OMG I have been reading Jennyleigh's thread about the rude parents and my problems seem lame in comparison! Ten days ago I was writing about my 'day from hell' when my mum was v*g all day. Today it's my husband! I really can't believe this. For ten days I have been waking up with anxiety at 4am, in case I 'hear' something - this habit goes back many years, but has got far worse lately, since my mum's been sick 3 times in 5 months. So I'm lying there this morning, and I think I hear my hub getting up for work at 5am as normal, only to find he's not - he's sick! It's like I was willing it to happen!


AAAAAARGGGHHH! [img]smileys/smilies_03.gif[/img]


I don't know if it's a virus or what. I'm not aware he's been near anyone who'd had it. I'm just so upset and willing him minute by minute to feel better. In a way it's worse than mum being ill, because my hub is the strong one, he's my rock - I can't bear it when he's ill. I don't even feel that scared of catching it, I can't think that far ahead. I just want him to be well again.


I don't think we have Lysol in the UK. I've been spraying everything with Dettol surface cleaner which reckons to kill most things!


I'm dealing so badly with this. I've been anxious and depressed over a number of things lately and trying to deal with this on top seems impossible today. I'm shaking and feel like crying. I hate myself for feeling this wretched but I don't seem to have the strength to fight it any more. I've been wide awake since 4 and I'm so tired. Why does this keep happening? Sometimes I wish I lived alone, then I'd only have to worry about 'sounds' being burglars! [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]


I'm glad the site's back up. I couldn't get on it yesterday! I know no one can help, but at least I can rant to people who understand here! One question I'd like to ask though - has anyone been helped by antidepressants?

[2jo2]

I've been helped tremendously by antidepressants. I was in a deep depression about 3 years ago that started with just the dread of winter and then my husband was sick and it just fell apart. I've been on them ever since and it helps to keep me even.


I'm sorry your husband is sick. I know what you mean about wanting to live alone. I have felt that way so many times. Try and keep your chin up and take it minute by minute. We're here if you need us!!!


I'll be thinking of you.

[helsbels]

I don't think you'd be the only one who wakes up in the middle of the night with anxiety, I am sure a lot of people here will relate to you entirely on that one. I feel for you, it must be really hard what you're going through. I've lived with my boyfriend now for 2 years and it was a huge decision because previous to that I'd always lived alone for the very reason that I didn't want to be woken in the night by someone v*g. But what you have to remember is that you don't want to live your entire life alone, at some point you fall in love and you want to live with someone else. Unfortunately though, that means putting up with times when they are ill, and it hasn't happened to me yet but I live in daily fear of exactly this sort of thing happening to me so I can really sympathise with you.


In terms of practical things, I'm sure you're doing the right things, cleaning everything, staying out of the way while he's ill. You need to just look after yourself by trying to relax - do whatever it takes you to relax - go for a walk, read a book, whatever. I think you'll also feel better when you've had a bit of sleep. Is there another room you can go and sleep in while your husband recovers?


Try to hang on in there, it will quickly pass, and then you've got to concentrate on moving on from it and trying not to dwell on it (I know... easier said than done)


If you think you need some help, like antidepressants, why don't you make an appointment to go and see your doctor? I went a few months ago and I was really surprised by her calm and caring attitude towards my phobia. She didn't prescribe me any antidepressants but I am now on a waiting list to see a councellor. I think people are helped by a number of different things, and you need to explore for yourself what it is that you think will help you best for your own personal situation.


Take care, and I hope your husband gets better soon, Hx

[ontariogirl]

How are you doing now? If you have bleach use that to clean, mix it with water!! I am sorry your husband is sick, how is he feeling? I agree with 2jo2 and helsbels think about medication it may make a difference!

[jennyleigh1975]

I am so sorry that your husband is sick. I hope that it is not a virus. If you have bleach, it will clean all those nasty germies too. I try to always have bleach, Lysol, and hand sanitizer on hand at my house at all times. When I went to Wal-Mart Sun. afternoon, I even bought gloves and masks in case I have to clean up "V" I have to have those things in my house to be able to cope this time of year. I am so ready for some warm weather!!!!

Please keep us posted on how YOU and your husband are doing.

[baseballplaya12]

think about it this way....your husband loves youhes going to understand your behaviorand if you do get sick hell be there for you every step of the way...

[jennyleigh1975]

How are you and your husband doing? I hope that you are ok!!

[moonshadow]

Thank you, thank you all so, so much for your kind replies! It's such a relief to talk to people who understand. My dear hubby seems much better, he spent yesterday recuperting and today he has gone to work. We still don't think it was a bug. He had a similar attack last year, where he woke up extremely dizzy then started v*g. It may be something connected to his diabetes, so he has said he'll go to the doctor and try to get it sorted out. He has his diabetes under tremendously good control with diet, and he can no longer handle rich food, but he'd eaten nothing out of the ordinary the day before so it's a mystery. Anyway...


He knows about my phobia, but I don't think he really understands it. I was in his room every hour asking how he was and he told me not to worry so much and he said, 'You don't like people throwing up, do you?' Duh,he noticed! I think it was the dizziness that kept him in bed as much as the sickness. Anyway, I tried to keep busy all day. By evening he had managed to drink some water and rehydration fluid and eat two biscuits. Next day he was up, eating normally again and resting with some TV progs I taped for him. This morning when he got up for work at 5, I got up too, just to check he was okay!


As it happens we have separate bedrooms, as he goes to bed and gets up early and I'm the opposite; I like to read and listen to radio and he likes to sleep; plus, he can snore for England! I sometimes think it would be easier for me to sleep in his bed tho', as then I'd know exactly how he was instead of 'listening' for things - plus I wouldn't be able to hear anything from my mum's bathroom!!!


Great, I live with two people who suffer from unexplained attacks of v*g! What have I done to deserve this! [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]


I swear, I can't explainmyanxietiesto them. It would sound insane. They're the ones who were ill, not me, yet it's me having nervous breakdowns about it! I've been trying to work out why I'm overreacting so much. It's happened before, they have both recovered and been absolutely fine. We are still here and the world hasn't ended. Yet I keep obsessing about it! It's partly because I can't bear the feeling of nausea etc myself, and I can't bear to witnesssomeone close to me suffering with it. And partly because when I was young, mum suffered severe migraine and I'd wake to hear her being ill and it always made me extremely anxious and upset - now it's like an ingrained reflex. Also, my dad suffered from a social phobia which meant if he was forced to undertake a stressful visit or journey, he would be violently sick beforehand. And it's partly a fear of the unknown - what's causing it, how long will it last, will I need to call the doctor? And it's not just the v*g part - I get very nearly as anxious if someone is just in bed with a cold or flu. It's something about the way people go so quiet and turn away when they're sick, as if they're not really 'there' or not really themselves any more. I don't know why I fear this so much - it muct be a very old, deep fear from my childhood.


I need therapy! I think I will go and talk to the doctor soon. But the thought of trying to explain my neuroses to the doc is scary in itself - I always feel such a fool! Once my need for help outweighs the scariness, I will go!


And now I've ranted on enough, so thank you again so much for your support. This is the nicest board. I also visit an IBS board which can be a bit intimidating - rather impersonal, and people get intoquitenastyarguments with each other. Here, it's like being among friends! Now I will go and read everyone else's problems!

[moonshadow]

A little update, hubby has come home from work and feels fine. He was talking to a colleague and she had had the exact same thing (which he has now had 3 times) - severe dizziness followed by v*g. Apparently it's vertigo! She was given medication for it which helps a lot.


He had a cold last week so I wonder if he got a bit of an inner ear infection. It must be like the worst motion sickness ever, urgh. Anyway he is going to the doc tomorrow.

[redapple]

definitely see a doctor! therapy would help you
ALOT and also help you to learn how to talk to your husband and mother
about your fears.



as far as meds go, I am on prozac and it has helped me a lot.



i hope everyone in your family is doing well!</font>

[moonshadow]

Another update, the doc says he has Labyrinthitis, which is an ear infection affecting balance. If we'd known, I could have given him some travel sickness tablets!!! (Which I have stacks of, natch!) He's now got medication to take if it happens again.


Fingers crossed, it won't! [img]smileys/smilies_27.gif[/img]

[charzysbebe]

Moonshadow- my hubby has type 2 diabetes, and also has had those attacks in the past. (this last fall)


He went to the ER and the diagnosed him with verigo (positional) from inner ear disturbances. It was like he was fine until he moved really fast or stood up...then he would bolt to the bathroom (looking like a drunk) and vomit. It went away after a day. Wonder if their diabetes may have an effect on their inner ear?? Hmmm. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img] Charlotte