Help! I've had emetophobia for almost 11 years!

[meagasaurus]

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting here, and to be honest, the first time i'm sharing this experience because I've been hiding (or attempting to) the degree of severity of my panic attacks that I feel (sorry if this post is too long!). I've had emetophobia since I was 5 years old (I am currently 16). I have a really strong stomach, and somehow I haven't thrown up since I was 5 (that was after a severe operation I had to go through), an advantage I guess. It's often the act of throwing up, and the stuff that comes out that really gets to me. I can't stand it and it just makes me so scared, it's a feeling that's difficult to describe I guess.

Unfortunately, I have a younger brother who is prone to airsickness; he's had an extremely weak immune system ever since he was a baby. He's also prone to puking whenever he has asthma attacks. One year, we were visiting relatives in Shanghai, and the pollution was so bad that my brother started having a coughing fit in this restaurant, and then started puking all over the place. Now, whenever he coughs or curls his tongue up, I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and I start covering my ears. Airplane flights are the worst. My brother gets REALLY nauseous during air flight turbulences, and quite often, the worst happens. My panic attacks are so bad that I have to cover my ears, and sprint quickly to the bathroom. The strangest thing is, I never feel like throwing up myself (because I guess I can't?).

No one has shared the same experience as I do, and when I try to tell my parents about my panic attacks, they just laugh at me and tell me to quit being such a baby about it. They obviously don't understand what it must feel like. My panic attacks get so bad, that anyone with a coughing fit or stomach ache will make me cover my ears and run away and I end up crying really hard; sometimes it's so bad that I almost pass out while I run away.

There are days where I get scared of myself throwing up because I wouldn't know how to react to it.

The thing that hits me really hard is that I really want to be a doctor. I've already decided my career path, and I know that there's nothing else I want to consider.

Sorry if that was such a long post, I just really needed to let out all these pent-up feelings. It seems as though my condition worsens every year...

[olschesky]

welcome to the forum. it's so hard for non emets to understand just how scarey this phobia can be for us. maybe if you had them read some of the posts on here and also the q&a section will help them too see what you feel like when this happens.

i'm sorry that your brother has the health issues.......but i can usually calm myself down when i know it's something that i can't catch. i still don't like to be around it when it's happening for any reason.......but it's less terrifying for me when i can say "well, atleast i can't catch it".

i know there are members here that work in the health field....nurses, etc and hopefully they will reply to your post to let you know how they deal with it.

hope you find some comfort and help here.....

[summerdazies]

Hi and welcome!

I'm 19, and I can totally relate to what you're saying: my brother (older) has a weak stomach and throws up a lot (especially compared to me, LOL), and when I was 10 he had pertussis that went undiagnosed for months (the entire summer, it was cough-cough-cough-cough...v*). This caused me to do the same shrieking/running out of the room thing you describe whenever he would start coughing (and still, if someone coughs at a meal, I have to ask if they're OK).

My parents are both doctors, and I want to be a doctor. I know handling other people v*ing is going to be my biggest hurdle, as I have a remarkably strong stomach when it comes to blood/gore/feces/literally ANYTHING else. I take comfort in knowing that a) some people simply handle clinical v* ABSOLUTELY FINE even though they freak out in a home situation and b) as a doctor, you are expected to be professional and calm when someone throws up. You are NOT expected to LIKE it or to clean it up (that's the nurse's job). I don't know if this is comforting or upsetting - to me it's comforting - but one doctor of mine, when I mentioned my emetophobia and that I wanted to be a doctor, told me of a woman who was a wonderful pediatrician and who also had emetophobia (in a bit of a strange form - she had a weak stomach when it came to other people getting s*). You can imagine - in peds you see a LOT of v*! Every time a child got s*, she would turn and be a little s* in the sink, too, but she was still a wonderful doctor. (I guess my point with this is that even if you don't deal the best with v*, you can be a doctor! Promise!)

[Sheepgirl23]

I used to experience exactly the same - I've had emetophobia pretty much as long as I can remember, and when I was a kid my younger sister had asthma which used to give her these coughing fits which inevitably ended in the dreaded v*, she was also a really bad traveller and I hated being stuck in the back seat of the car with her on long journeys, the minute I heard that little cough and gag I would start shaking uncontrollably and my mum would be shouting at me to help my sister but I just couldn't! Luckily she's now grown out of both her asthma and her travel sickness so never v*s now

[foxxy_cleopattra]

i'm just like you, got the emet when i was 5 b/c i had the asthma and had to take these medications and it made be v* quite a lot during that time for a couple of years until i was about 10 and it was the last time i v*, that time i had the flu when i was still in the U.S... then when i was in my early 20s, i almost did but kept it down and it had this disguting smell, next day i went to see the doctor due to food poisoning... then ever now and then if i take antibiotics, i get nauseated but no v*.. now i'm 36, having stomach problems since last year and getting the emet attacks at the same time..before that i was fine and had a great time of eating out and partying with my friends but now, i keep myself away from them until i felt better and soon i will be getting a new job, i wish it would just go away b/c i don't want it to ruin my life.. i hate watching movies that shows ppl v* or movies that induces it, see sick ppl that way, etc..


i hope you will overcome it real soon xoxo