The biggest problem with being sick is...

[FreedomtoLive]

the fear that it's not just 'being sick' - but that it is the start of a serious and life threatening illness....

it was just about being sick before, but i think i reached a similar point to the people in some of the blogs that are linked to this site....that is a few episodes of actual being sick over the last 5 years showed me that the real fear is not about being sick...even though i thought it was....i cannot explain it but i would say to anyone wondering, something happens when you are sick, usually, that makes you feel like 'is that it?' 'is that what i've been scared of the whole time?' It's just not as scary when it really happens and i really know that there will be many that won't agree with that even though they haven't been sick for ages......i wouldn't have....but i would say at least carry the hope that if the dreaded thing did happen it might not be what you imagine and actually you might be pleasantly (yep i'd even go that far) surprised....

So back to my fear...don't get me wrong i hate the feeling of nausea, but it's more about the meaning i put on the situation.....I'm just so afraid, now that i witnessed the death of someone (sudden death) that if i am alone (which i will be soon in a hotel room) that if i get sick, it's going to be something far far worse than that.

So wondering if anyone can help me? What can i tell myself? Are there any statistics out there about how dangerous vomiting is? Anyway of getting some surety that it really is 'just being sick.'

I really want to be one of those people who can be away from home and still be ill - without phoning someone to come pick me up or finding a way home to panic and suck mints.... :-(

[FreedomtoLive]

just to add onto that, it's like people at work that i've heard vomiting in the toilets....they go into the toilet and lock the door.....i'm scared of doing that if it happened because no one would know if i was dying......more and more i'm wishing i wasn't a single person anymore, i'd feel much safe if the majority of the time i was with a partner. Not that i'd want them to endure all this but just knowing that if something serious happened there is likely someone with me would be reassuring.

[cinque]

I don't know if there are any statistics out there, but I really don't think vomiting is dangerous. The body has a reflex that jerks you forward a bit so you will get it out and not choke, I think. I'm sorry if that was graphic xxx

[FreedomtoLive]

thanks - don't actually mind graphic - lol - as i am a little way on from the classic phobia. I'm not afraid of choking strangely enough - i know that's not likely...

but like in some of those blogs where someone was saying they'd been ill for hours, etc....and felt weak and everything, i'd be panicking that there was something else seriusly wrong with me......i don't know when to just treat it as vomiting and when it's a sign of more serious....

and ......ok this might be an anxiety trigger for some, not all because it's based on an experience i had with witnessing someone die suddenly....but there are things that cause......ok don't read if you are feeling anxious or likely to later.........(will say it lower down)






sudden death....and there is no warnings. The person that died wasn't sick but in my mind being sick is as equally incapacitating.............and the person had a heart attack, and i know that in some cases people can be sick with a heart attack......so how do i know what's dangerous and what's not?

and i know it's fear talking because maybe i can't know........but then if i were a mother....what would i have to look out for in a child? but then again it's different because in a child something horrible like a heart attack is less likely to happen so it's more likely to be a sickness bug......

thanks for listening to my waffling

[cinque]

I think it's really quite rare for people to die suddenly like that. It sounds immensely distressing to witness. I can't imagine. Have you spoken to anyone about how you're feeling, like a doctor etc? Ithink you might be from the UK (a guess from the way you word things) so perhaps if you see your GP and tell him or her how you are feeling? You shouldn't have to live with this intense fear all the time; it's too much. And it can and will get better.

As for having a partner, I don't think they'd be enduring anything! I'm sure you could meet someone who would value you for who you are

Children are resilient little people and nowadays there are always helplines and things on hand if you're at all concerned about their health So don't be put off having children because of that xxx

[rebelle]

Part of your fear seems very similar to mine. I used to only be afraid of vomiting, mostly worrying about germs and such. But during the last maybe 2 years I have started to become really afraid of being hospitalized. I used to used get the image of vomiting in my head and feel terrified, but nowadays I get images of being hospitalized (along with my old images) and I am so afraid of how I will react when I actually do vomit. How will I know what has caused it? What if it does need urgent medical care? There are so many, many, many diseases out there with vomiting as a possible symptom, and it usually says to seek medical care if that is presenting itself along with some other symptom of that particular illness. I am terrified of hospitals, and I am really scared of being in a situation where I vomit and don't know what to do, or can't make myself seek the care that is needed.

So I can se similarities between our fears, even though they are bit different. The only thing I can say to you, cause you don't seem afraid of medical care is that when vomiting is serious it usually presents itself along with other symptoms. And I don't think that it's common to vomit and drop dead, there is usually time to call an ambulance, and then you won't be alone anymore. I think that even if you were unable to speak they could probably trace your call.

Sadly, things that we find difficult and terrible are a part of life. And we can't keep track of every possible illness out there. The best thing you can do is to just take care of yourself the best you can, and if your fear is debilitating seek help. Therapy for health anxiety might be very helpful for you, and if you can't seek help then maybe you can read self-help books aimed at treating health anxiety. Many people suffer from fears like this, so you are not alone, there is help out there.

[FreedomtoLive]

Cinque and Rebelle - thanks so much for your words, they really helped. (please don't read this if you find the subject i've spoken about too upsetting though as i'm going to say more below).




I think there is a general belief amongst the public that sudden death doesn't usually happen....well....I've been told by a nurse that as far as vomiting is concerned this is true....but heart attacks is another matter, they are the biggest killer in our country and i think a third die before reaching hospital, usually before the ambulance arrives.

(I realise that's a side issue here but it is one i'm not happy about because people just don't know that, everyone seems so concerned with campaigning about cancer, and me equally, but there is an epidemic of sudden death from heart attacks and it scares the hell out of me.....anyway i won't go on, but just wanted to share that because it's part of the belief that's causing all the fears..............the other thing people don't realise is sudden death is not 'good.' People have told me that 'it's the best way to go,'....but i saw it....and it was not)

Rebelle i can relate to your fears. I have been in a situation where i think i ought to call a doctor but too scared to.........once i had palpitations that wouldn't stop and i drove to a hospital but was too scared to go inside, so i just sat on the wall outside shivering in the cold....i felt that if i passed out at least i would be seen there.

Most of my fears are along the lines of 'something terrible and sudden is going to happen,' - before i witnessed the death it was just that 'something terrible will happen.' I've often thought that most people are not scared because they honestly don't believe anything bad is going to happen - the thought doesn't enter their head....i wish i could be in that state when i'm feeling unwell.

I did well recently though....i broke out in hives after being around someone's cat. I was travelling home by train and i jumped in a taxi to go to the local casualty. This would normally have caused intense fear - fears of going into anaphylactic shock (suddenness again) and being in a hospital with people shoving tubes down my throat............but my doctor has given me beta blockers for anxiety...and also because of unexplained palpitations (which are not necessarily anxiety, may be hormonal).....and i think i stayed calm because of them. I mention this in case such things could help you.

Cinque - i am going to get some CBT soon, in the meantime i've really got to get my head into a more positive state, have more positive thoughts, eg....nothing is going to happen until it happens, i cannot predict the future, i needn't think catastrophically all the time, others cope with stuff and remain calm so it is possible with a different frame of mind, etc.

I'm really going to try, it's just tough at the moment - and i don't tink my hormones are helpoing right now...lol

[rebelle]

I think that there is a lot of campaigning out there about cardiovascular diseases like heart attacks and strokes, at least in my country. And yes, it is a leading cause of death, and we may not have all the information about which genes make some more susceptible than others. But at least we know what type of lifestyle to lead in order to lower our risk dramatically. Maybe you should try to focus on this, living as healthy as you can and focusing on what risk factors you actually can control instead of constant worrying about something that may or may not happen in the future.

You probably already know what you can change in your life to lower the risk, but I will send you some links anyway. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hea...ention/WO00041 and http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Condit...34_Article.jsp

I also think that this information might be good to remember "Some heart attacks are sudden and intense — the "movie heart attack," where no one doubts what's happening. But most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain or discomfort. Often people affected aren't sure what's wrong and wait too long before getting help." from this site http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Condit...39_Article.jsp

I realize that you have witnessed a sudden heart attack, and it must have been very traumatic for you, but it doesn't mean that the same will happen to you. As I read what you are saying you seem to be very afraid of sudden death, and your mind seem very inclined to fear it from some form of illness. Sudden death can happen at any moment, you could get hit by a car, you could suffer a fall and break your neck. While worrying about heart attack causing you sudden death, something entirely different might actually cause it. Or it might never happen, instead you just spend your life worrying about something that you'll never actually have to deal with.

The worry doesn't help you in any way when it is excessive, and I say this because that is what I am trying to tell myself, that anything can happen and I can't spend my life trying to control that which I don't actually have control over. Yet I avoid so many things that I fear will cause me an illness, but I still get in the shower even though I might slip and fall, and I walk up and down the stairs even though I might loose my balance, and I might take a walk or go somewhere by car even though something terrible could happen. Death (and illness) can happen at any moment, and that is a part of life, it is scary, but instead of limiting our life fearing death, maybe we should ask ourselves what we wan't to do with our life while we know we have it? You could die at any moment, then how do you want to spend your moment? Worrying about death and limiting your life in the process or doing something that is important to you, being around people you love, something that makes you happy?

I see that you already have some thoughts along those lines, I especially liked this thought "others cope with stuff and remain calm so it is possible with a different frame of mind". I think that points to something, that it is within our mind the fear is triggered. And we can choose to relate differently to the contents of our minds, we don't have to believe our thoughts about catastrophes, they are just thoughts so why not invite thoughts that empower us instead? And it isn't wrong to feel fear when something happens to our health, I think that most people feel afraid when they think they are going to die, it's biological to wan't to stay alive, and you can handle things even though you might feel afraid. Haven't you already been through many situations where you felt fear and been okay in the end?

This was a long post, and maybe I'm not just talking to you but also to my own fearful mind.