"I Hope You Get Sick Again"

[CuteCandy]

My mother said that to me last night. She thinks if I catch the stomach bug again (like in February), I'll realize it won't kill me and I'll get over my fear.

This happened after I warmed up some pizza in the oven on aluminum foil. (Yes, I've been able to eat cheese pizza because I know it's cooked.) I decided to eat it directly off the foil. I have a problem with touching my food, since stomach bug germs can be passed that way. I was almost done when I noticed a hole in the foil. I started thinking my thumb had touched the pizza, and I panicked. I'm still worried about it today. Then while my mother and I were talking, she told me she hopes I did touch it and that I get the stomach bug again. That's supposed to "cure" me.

I have no support system at home. Mom sends me away every time I mention illness, and she likes telling me I'm going to end up in a mental hospital one day. (She even said once, "Okay, I'll come visit you.") The rest of my family thinks I'm pitiful or just acting stupid. When I tell them they're not helping me, they say they're not trying to or I won't accept their "help" (Mom honestly believes she's helping) or it's my problem.

I can't deal with this.

[JadeNight]

Hey Candy,
I know how it feels to not have a family as a support system. Also, welcome to the site. I hope you can find the support you need to recover from here.

Also, throwing up again, while suffering from emet, does not constitute as an instant cure. I've been emet all my life, but my worse was 2 years ago, In the 2 years since my emet has been its worse, i have thrown up 4 times. None of those times cured me. Everyone is different though, and I'm not saying that to make you feel like it's hopeless. It just takes more in depth therapy for most, because emet lies within anxiety.

Have you considered CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)? This type of therapy has been successful in treating emetophobia. I do not know where you are from but if you have a doctor, have you considered talking to your doctor about seeing a therapist?

Now, about the pizza. I can promise you you'll be okay. I can assume you have not been exposed to a stomach bug, or even it being in your house, so there's no reason it would be on your piece of pizza. There are more good germs on your hands, than disease causing ones. (that's why over washing your hands can ultimately become a bad thing!)

I hope you start to feel better. You're completely safe! And people eat pizza reheated all the time out of the foil and they are fine

[cinque]

Your hands wouldn't have been dirty though, so it does not matter that you touched the pizza. You mustn't worry about this; you'll be fine.

Getting a stomach bug doesn't seem to cure people of emetophobia. Often they will find that it's nowhere near as bad as they've been fearing, and the fear may go away for a bit, but then it tends to come back. A lot of non-emets seem to think it will help though for some reason? What sort of 'help' have your family members offered to you?

[CuteCandy]

Have you considered CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)? This type of therapy has been successful in treating emetophobia. I do not know where you are from but if you have a doctor, have you considered talking to your doctor about seeing a therapist?

I have, but I don't know if I'll be able to afford it. Also, I'm afraid of what they'll have me do. I really don't want to be exposed to vomit.

What sort of 'help' have your family members offered to you?

None. They take a "just get over it" approach to everything. They say it's all in my head and I just need to talk myself out of it. It's "easy." So why haven't I done it already? The problem is I'm good at talking myself out of eating, too. I try to talk things through with them (that helps), but they get sick of it quickly and send me away.

And like I said, Mom thinks telling me I'll end up in a psych ward or a hospital helps me. She's trying to scare the fear out of me. The biggest problem is she's really blunt, and her tone of voice comes off as apathetic most of the time. I've talked to her about that, too. Her reaction is usually something like, "This is how I am. Get used it."

[cinque]

CBT/therapy should be patient-led with you not being forced into anything you are not comfortable with/ready for.

May I ask what sort of age group you are? I think you still live with your parents by the sounds of it. Could they not help with therapy costs? Or do you have insurance...not sure what country you're in.

Scaring the fear out of you really isn't helpful; it's a shame they don't see that!

How much are you managing to eat? Are you underweight?

[faye84]

Yes I was going to ask your age group too - and location? I presume USA? Is there any type of funding available for younger people out there for therapy/CBT etc? It can really help. Not all therapy is exposure therapy - as cinque said, you wont be forced.

All of us here suffer with this phobia - so at least you have found like-minded people that wont judge you or tell you to just 'get over it'. We totally understand, because we feel the same.

Maybe try taking what your mum says with a pinch of salt.

[lauren37]

i know exactly how u feel

[CuteCandy]

Thank you, everyone.

I'm in my early 20's and live in the USA. I have insurance, but I'm not sure it would cover this. It might.

How much say would I have in the treatment? Don't they try to desensitize you to vomiting by having you watch a lot of people do it?

How much are you managing to eat? Are you underweight?

I used to eat a lot more, but I don't tend to gain much weight. I'm definitely underweight.

[cinque]

Well I don't know how the whole insurance thing works but I think you could make a few enquiries and find out, either from the insurance company or from seeing your GP (by which I mean general doctor; I don't know what the term is in America) and asking. I have not had therapy myself so I don't know, and honestly I think it would depend on the therapist him/herself on what the treatment is like. But remember nobody can force you to do something you are not comfortable with. I don't think most therapists would go down the desensitisation route straight away especially if you say early on that you're not comfortable with that. If you are interested in desensitising then there have been websites developed by people on here that go from very mild images very gradually to more graphic ones. But you have to make sure you can see an image and feel no anxiety at all before moving onto the next one. you can't just rush through it as it won't work.

You might have read some threads on here about emets getting sectioned and forced to do things but that actually turned out to be a complete fabrication. Don't get alarmed by that.

How do you feel about desensitisation in general?

[canadianreject]

Well, unfortunately therapy will NEVER be easy. You will have to face things that will make you uncomfortable. Of course, a therapist will never force you to do anything that will harm you. But at the same time, you will have to feel uncomfortable and anxious to make any progress with this phobia.

A therapist will probably eventually show you images of v* and the like, but it wouldn't be in the first session. They will also try to help you break habits such as washing your hands too often, opening doors with your sleeve, etc. All of which will create a sense of panic/anxiety but it will also rewire your brain.

[afraid213]

emetophobia is an emotional problem and i HATE when people suggest solving it on a logical level (if you v* you wont be scared anymore) or (it's not that bad).........

[Jill in Apartment 413]

My mom is the same way. She thinks that when I have a stomach problem and v* or almost do so (Like I almost did last october) she thinks it's like "therapy" and getting sick will make me better. She says not to be so dramatic and just do it, she says she understands my phobia but she calls me irrational ALLLLLLLLL the time. I can't stand people who act that way. My best friend, he doesn't understand my emet, and he doesn't pretend to, but he tolorates it and just lets me be. I like that.