Everyone needs to read this, seriously. It brought tears to my eyes.
So I'm on tumblr, a blog site if you're not familiar with it, and somebody asked one of the people I'm following why they became so depressed, and here was their answer:
There are a myriad of reasons that made the accident trigger major depressive episodes… imagine this:
Before the accident I didn’t have a stable home, my friends called me a “couch hopper” I stayed with anyone who would let me crash for the night. I had to choose, paying my tuition or paying rent and I chose school. I basically lived in my car, everything I owned was in there and it was the only space in the world that was mine that I could actually call my own… for all intents and purposes it was my home. Imagine that being gone, in a split second your home and your independence and your privacy being violently ripped from you. Image that in a millisecond everything that you knew about your life was suddenly different, that all the sacrifices you make and have made now meant nothing.
Now imagine this you’re in your car, your home, you turn hard to the left and all you see is your dad flying through the air and smashing into the windshield. Imagine the noise and the chaos, the fear and the pain as your car gets hit again and spins and when it finally stops your dad falls bleeding into your lap. Imagine believing that your dad is dead in your lap and you were driving the car and now couldn’t do anything about it. Imagine seeing your dads neck being broken. Imagine living every fucking day knowing that you were driving when an accident happened that made it impossible for your dad to be strong enough to fight the cancer that would inevitably kill him.
Now, think about your body. Take your body and age it 40 years. Take your bones and shatter them, break your joints, damage your nerves, burn your skin, taste your own blood in the back of your mouth. Realize now that your job, your independence and livelihood depended on the strength and endurance of your body and your body can no longer tolerate it. Turn every independence that you’ve work and sacrificed for into a dependence. Every time have to brush your hair, take a shower, put clothes on, get out of your own bed you have to wait for someone to come and help you. Even when you heal you’re in your 20’s and you now have permanent injury to your spine that makes every day painful, you have arthritis in your joints, and things that used to be easy are difficult and painful.
Try and sleep now and have nightmares where your world spins like it did that day, wake up and smell the airbags and the blood and the burnt skin. Try to sleep when every night you have to relive something that almost killed you and someone you love very much. Now try to avoid depression without sleep.
I survived and now nearly two years later I am lucky that I can walk and move get stronger every day. The accident wasn’t my fault but I had to quit school, my “home” was violently taken from me, I was completely and utterly dependent, I couldn’t work, I couldn’t physically take care of myself. Imagine day in and day out running through minor things you could have done to avoid it. Wonder every day if you had just been five minutes late if your dad would have been able to fight his cancer, wonder every day if you would have made one different decision if your dad would be dead right now. Wonder if your scars would be gone, if your body wouldn’t ache, if you would have already graduated, if all the things that you had worked so hard to achieve the past 23 years would have been worth it and not taken from you. I could keep going on why the accident triggered an enormous depressive episode, but I fear I may have already said too much.
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