New to this site, hope I find answers & comfort

[Orchid]

Hello, I stumbled across this forum and thought I should join. I joined a panic forum and that was interesting for a while but no one on there really seemed to be getting better. And I wonder if emetophobia is so intense that most people don't get better from it.

Anyway here's my story...I noticed I had an extreme fear of throwing up about 15yrs ago maybe. I'm not sure how or why it started. It could be a combination of some deep pychological issues combined with experiences of throwing up in public and witnessing others. I know there's got to be some reason that I just haven't stumbled upon yet. I've been putting off trying to overcome it because, it seems too hard and hopeless. I started having what I called "puke attacks" when I was in highschool or earlier. Later I realized they were panic attacks. This caused agoraphobia, not real severe but I would just have little things I was afraid of, like going to the movies and restraunts or would have to sit in sight of the door or bathroom. Maybe my emetophobia is caused from my panic attacks, which my only main symptom is feeling like I'm going to throw up(a globus sensation in my throat). Maybe I need to write everything down that I can think of and discuss it with my therapist. I have panic disorder, agoraphobia(not severe but cripling enough), anxiety, acid reflux and have had IBS before but it actually went away. I realize that the root of my problem now is the emetophobia. I read somewhere that this anxiety can cause nausea, nausea causes panic, and it becomes a cycle. I've been trying to recover from a bout of extreme stress, anxiety, and severe nausea from 2 years ago. But the anxiety and pattern of nausea is still ingrained in my brain. I haven't been able to break the cycle. Usually I come out of my bouts of anxiety after a couple years but while I'm coping with how things are, I find myself afraid everyday and very depressed. Not only is the fear alone depressing but it just limits my life. I'm at a point where I'd like to reverse this. I didn't use to be afraid of it but now I am. If I think hard about what I'm feeling, I might describe it as first of all gross and embarrassing, but also a loss of control and feeling "unsafe" to do so, that it's not ok or something. It's really hard to think of that stuff because the extreme fear is what's screaming at me with not much logic behind it. My thinking is I need to dig into those feelings and core beliefs and figure out why I feel them or where they came from, then take steps to fix them, and maybe add some desensitization therapy-like watching movies or shows with it. I'm also going to work on reducing my overall anxiety by yoga and just doing relaxing things like going to the park, and listening to relaxing music, deep breathing. And the last thing I need to try is exercise and eat a healthy diet.

There's tons more details about my own experience with this but I'd love some feedback, experiences, what helps others, insights, etc. I would really like to find some answers.

And it does help to know that others are going through the same thing. I haven't thrown up in 15 yrs. and the last time I did I didn't have the phobia. I take anit-nausea meds and xanax every single day and want to be able to go off them again.

Thanks for reading!

[claire43]

Hi and welcome to this site. Im sure all of us have had similar problems as you. Personally Ive been emet almost all my life but have had 2 severe bouts one brought on by illness that lasted over 5 years when I was in my late teens and this last one brought on by stress and anxiety which started in dec '08! Thankfully I seem to be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel with this particular episode but it has taken over 2 years and I still can get extremely anxious if I feel like Im going to vomit or if Ive been around anyone with a sickness bug. Ive managed to start working again since last november, before that I got so depressed cos I always felt so sick I hardly left the house and it did become a vicious circle. Ive got a long long way to go but hopefully Im getting there slowly. You're already one up on me by having a therapist. Im much too much of a coward to confront my fear head on. I also take anti-emetics on an almost daily basis.

[sage]

Hi Orchid and welcome to the site! If your therapist needs any resources my page is completely free for therapists. You don't have to go looking for movies, etc! Just click on the link and check it out. Take care and I hope you find lots of help and support on this board!