Please give me your honest opinion...would you go?

[ktacserv]

I have an extreme emet phobia and serious anxiety related to getting sick at all. I am trying to heal myself and stop the fear and anxiety from ruling my life, but it is hard - really hard.

My husband and I have tickets to go to a big festival this Sunday with a group of our friends, and we are really looking forward to it. One of my friends who is supposed to attend with us, just emailed me complaining that one of her coworkers just told her the 24 hour stomach bug is going around again - her coworker just had it run through all of her family over the weekend. Everyone that I know (including myself, my husband and my kids) went through a horrible round of the norovirus back in January of this year, and ever since then my anxiety over emet has been almost out of control. I will do anything not to get that ever again. I thought with it being summer time that I'd be "out of the woods" for awhile, so to speak, at least until cold/flu season picks back up. So to hear of anyone having a stomach virus going around this time of year really freaks me out. It freaks my friend out too - she does not know the extent of my fear/anxiety - but I know she feels similarly that she would do anything to avoid getting that sick again. So she emailed me to vent about being stuck around her coworker for the week after hearing that the coworker has a sick family at home.

Now, I dont know her coworker and will never come into contact with her directly, but I am supposed to see my friend this weekend at the festival. All I can think of now is - should I cancel - what if she is carrying this virus and gives it to me or my husband when we see her this weekend?? Would we know whether she was carrying the virus before the festival this weekend, or is it a better idea to just cancel and lose the ticket money? Would she get sick with the bug before the weekend hits? I feel crazy just putting this in writing, but these are the thoughts that rule my life. This person who is currently sick is removed by several degrees from me, yet I can play out the chain of events that would lead to the virus knowingly transmitting to me by the weekend.

Please tell me if I should just go to the festival and likely be fine, or if I have a legitimate reason to cancel. My husband is aware of my emet and extreme anxiety and while he would be angry with me for wanting to cancel, he would concede and get over it.

[acupuncturefortlauderdale]

Don't let the fear drive you away from what would otherwise be a great time.

[heydani]

You know that you will be fine, and it's the anxiety talking. i think you should go, because if you go out and have fun and enjoy it then hopefully you can do things like that more often. As long as you don't inhale her breath, or let you or your husband share a drink you should be fine. Bring some hand sanitizer.

[coolpk2003]

I think you should totally go. I know it's hard and I totally understand your fears because I get like this all the time. I mean for example tonight I'm supposed to go to a concert only 40 mins from my house and I'm paranoid that I'll get sick going or coming home or at the concert amongst all those people just because I was around someone this weekend that ended up sick on Sunday. I also get the fear like if she can get it and doesn't know where she picked it up I could pick it up anywhere at anytime and get sick. But....here's the thing... sometimes we got to push ourselves and try to lead normal lives to prove this thing isn't controlling us even if it's just to prove it to ourselves. I say go and try to have a great time. Usually once you are there and you realize you don't feel sick you are able to have a good time I even went to Nashville for the whole weekend with just my friends a few weeks ago and we had a great time. I did worry while I was away but I was still able to do everything they did and even forgot to wash my hands before eating a few times and I survived...thankfully

[wargerbil]

When I have trouble making decisions like this I ask myself is my decision being motivated by logic (e.g. I shouldn't take a road trip because my car needs repairs) or by anxiety (I shouldn't take a road trip because I may get sick on vacation). If it's a logical reason for not doing something, then I'll take my concerns more seriously. If I realize my anxiety is motivating the decision, I force myself to do it anyway.

[ktacserv]

I know I should probably go, but my anxiety just gets out of control. Here's how I usually make my decision - based on how much torture I will endure for the week after I go to the event. My anxiety revolves around the transmission of the virus. If I see her, I will assume I've been infected since I know she was around someone who had the virus within the last week. Then I will spend ALL of next week, after the festival, with horrendous amounts of anxiety wondering when the virus is going to hit me. I have no idea what the incubation period is for the various types of stomach flu, but I usually give it 7 days before I will consider myself in the clear. So I will spend 7 days after knowingly coming into contact with my friend, not eating, not sleeping and entirely on edge and miserable until I know I am past the incubation period. So in my mind I think to myself, is one day of fun worth the seven days of sheer torture that will follow it? Most times I choose to limit my activities because of this. I thought I was getting better, but with this new information that someone in the area has a stomach virus, I am spiraling back down again. I really wish I could get a grip on myself.

[haylz113]

I think you should go. Going would be the normal thing to do if you weren't emetophobic, and the only way you can help yourself is by kicking your fear in the butt and not letting it take over your life. Show it who is boss. You will be fine. Just make sure to wash your hands before eating. If your friend was going to get sick, I would expect that you would know about it before the festival. I know it is scary but you really can't improve your phobia by hiding away from it. I think you should go and have a fantastic time. I have had similar dilemmas before and people have convinced me to go out, and I have always been glad when I did. Good luck and let us know how you go! xx

[asianeko]

I personally would go, and I think you should too. Don't worry about her carrying a bug from her coworker, she would have to already have started V and D to be contagious. I know it sounds like a big scary step right now, but think about how much fun you're going to have! And then afterwards you can use that as a time you overcame emet, and continue feeling better and better!