This is going to be a long post, but I appreciate anyone who reads/comments this post. As some of you may know, my boyfriend gets terrible migraines that cause him to v*. At least we think they are migraines, but he hasn't been to the doctor to be diagnosed. Nor will he go, of course. And what freaks me out isn't really the v*ing part so much, because I have taken care of him while he has v*d. What freaks me out is how debilitating they are. He v*s a lot, he can't open his eyes, he can't stand up or walk around. It's terrible. And sometimes he will get one a week. So anyway, I researched his symptoms online (bad move, let me tell you). And every single website that came up said migraine or brain tumor. Of course that freaked me the hell out. A brain tumor? he could possibly have a brain tumor? I would not be able to handle that. I can't lose him. We're going to get married. All this negativety running through my mind. But I didn't tell him. I kept it to myself for about 3 weeks. Letting everything bottle up inside. On top of all the stress from work and me starting college tomorrow. So yesterday, he woke up with one of the biggest migraines he has had in a long time. He couldn't open his eyes, he was nauseated (didn't v*) because he laid in bed. He said it felt like somebody was digging an ice pick into he brain. So I freaked out. Told him he needed to go to the doctor, and I wasn't seeing him until he went to the doctor. This turned into kind of a fight because he was refusing to go and I was begging him to go. This went on for four hours arguing back and forth. I was crying and he was sick in bed with his head pounding. Finally it got to the point where he got so mad and yelled at me and asked me why the hell I was making such a big deal out of these migraines. (he was in tears too by that point). I finally told him how I researched online about his headaches and how scared to death I was that he had a brain tumor. His eyes filled up with tears and said I knew it. I knew thats what you thought it was. I told him I was driving myself crazy the past 3 weeks with this but I didn't want to tell him. He has a medical background (he is going to school for radiology and is almost done). And he pulled me into his arms all teary eyed and hysterical as I was and told me that he highly doubts it is a tumor. He told me he has seen the symptoms of people who actually had brain tumors (slurred speech, the headache drags on it never goes away, some people have had loss of limb movement, loss of memory) there was a whole list of symptoms that he didn't have. This kind of put me at ease but I still had no idea what it was. After a while, he took a caffeine pill. His migraine completely went away. He is addicted to caffeine. Before he goes to clinicals at the hospital every morning he has a five hour energy drink, (we dont drink coffee) then caffinated pop throughout the day. I can't believe how I freaked myself out like that. I didn't realize caffiene withdrawal could do that to you. But I guess it can. I wish I would have just told him instead of bottling it all up and blowing up at him like I did. But I just didn't want to worry him. I didn't want him to be scared, I didn't want to face the truth that thats what it could possibly be, and I didn't want him to worry about me worrying. We are fine now. Everything is wonderful. Is anyone else like this? Does anyone else keep things bottled up? I couldn't bare the thought of him having a brain tumor. That completely messed me up. Any thoughts/feelings/comments greatly appreciated. Thank you again to anyone who reads this.