The terrible "what if"

[Senny]

I feel like I am in a constant state of "what if."What if this stomach ache is a REAL one, what if I get sick tonight, what if I get sick when we go on vacation.... It goes on and on daily...sometimes hourly.
But in all honesty, what if, and I'm sure it will, the day comes when myself or my husband or future kids get the stomach bug, how can I stay calm and just be in the moment without freaking out and feeling like I'm just waiting for IT to happen?
I honestly need an answer! I just want to be able to feel sick like a "normal" person. They just feel sick until they throw up. I have to panic making it do much more horrible than it has to be, the panic is the worst part and I have BO CONTROL Its like I have no choice, I HAVE to panic. How can I stop this? How can I retrain my brain to not be so terrified.
I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own body.

I have an amazing therapist who does EMDR which lessens the anxiety attacks, but what about when I am actually faced with it? When the thing I fear most is actually happening? Then what? How can I make it not so scary!?
I haven't thrown up in 18 years, and I feel like its gonna happen every day, I feel like the longer I go without getting sick the closer I actually am...like I'm due for a virus. It's so stupid and irrational. I just want to have a normal life where my every move doesn't involve a thought about vomit.
Just watching tv I think "I wonder when the last time that actor threw up was" WHAT THE HELL?! Why would I think that!

I also always have stomach problems, even though I'm probably the one creating them, I constantly have digestion issues and I'm always thinking "this is the beginning of the stomach bug" and if I'm having my frequent trips to the bathroom and my husband says he's naseous then it's DEFINITELY the bug and I'm screwed...

Im just do sick of it.
My husband said he was naseous tonight and I had stomach issues earlier so I was convinced that tonight it was going down, I was gonna have to face this thing. I was freaking out and it was horrible. The second my husband said "I'm feeling better" I stopped worrying. I want to avoid this fight or flight reaction.
It's so much worse then it has to be.

[somango]

This sounds so much like me...it is terrible isn't it...never knowing. But recently I've been better...I don't know why really. But my advice would be find distractions, think wow this stupid fear is crazy, get over it already. thats what i do when i get a panic attack. I also take deep breaths and tell myself to relax. If its really gonna happen I think my body would know and I'd instinctively run to the bathroom before hand. I don't know its hard to explain. But I hope you can get through this irrational annoying fear. I haven't but I rarely think about it now unless I have a panic attack.

[DeadxxInside92]

I get the 'what if's' running through my head every damn second of every damn day. So annoying >< and it's not strictly emetophobia related either. I also have 'what if' thoughts about my relationship with my bf, my progress in school, my future, the past. 'What if I did this differently? What if I did that differently?' All the stupid 'what if's' make me wanna kick some major arse haha. Those thoughts will definitely drive ya crazy and make your anxiety 1,000x worse. I wish I had advice for how to keep those thoughts under control, but my advice is pretty lame :/ Basically, just try and keep yourself distracted as best as you can. Do something that requires a lottt of concentration like brain teasers,cross word puzzles, reading, etc! Those are always great.

[myxillusi0ns]

I can totally relate. I am exactly the same. When I was 10 years old I got a terrible stomach v**** while I was staying at a friends house for a sleepover. During the night we had a bad snow storm so the power was out which made it worse cause my friend's mother didn't do anything to help, she didn't drop me off at home until she was "ready"... So I was at my friend's house & getting sick every 10 minutes, literally. I v***** around 12 times there... then her mother finally dropped me off at home.... at 12pm the next day! So I wasn't in the comfort of my own home in proper care! I got sick one more time when I got home then I was better... but at the same time I was going through puberty, so I think it made it worse.

Well ever since that day I have been emetophobic (I'm 23 now). So I have suffered for 13 years. I was so scared to go to school from 5th grade to 12th grade.... I had so many absences due to this phobia... I constantly thought I was going to get sick every single day, & I ended up getting anorexia due to the fact that I wouldn't eat, in fear that I would get sick. But when I was 14 I was put on Zoloft to control my anxiety & depression over this. It never really worked, that psychiatrist moved & I got off the meds.

I always struggled with stomach issues so I was always at a GI specialist to make sure I was ok. At 17 I was put on Lexapro by my general practitioner & I just started college which made me more nervous. This Lexapro worked amazingly, I was on 10mg & I was doing so well... I also would frequently go out with friends & smoke marijuana. My anxiety was completely gone, I was out every single day with my friends.. it was great. Then in January of 2010 I got sick.... I knew it would eventually happened & it did.

So after I got sick I was shocked to learn that my anxiety still went away about it! I thought I was cured. But in June of 2010 I had a very bad panic attack after smoking one day & I got d***** at her house then I started to feel so sick as if I was going to v****. I was dry h***** & it was just so not pleasant & I felt so sick.... So I went home to my mom where she gave me some Xanax and I relaxed. Still do this day I don't know if it was a real sickness I had or a just a panic attack. Anyway, since then I have been just like you.

I was put on Cymbalta & Klonopin.... that didn't work... now I am on Prozac 50mg & 2mg Xanax a day... I go through this every single night, especially now since it's November & the holiday season is here. My anxiety is the worst then. Whenever I get a stomach ache I freak out & think i'm going to get sick. Whenever I have lose stool I'm afraid I'll get sick, whenever I'm nauseous or constipated... anything. I genuinely freak out and make myself feel horrible which is worse than being sick.... I am just like you... I rarely go out anymore in fear of getting exposed to germs, whenver someone says they don't feel well I freak out. If they are sick I freak out, I try to avoid them at all costs. It's a fear I live with 24 hours a day... it's horrible. I completely understand what you're going through.

This phobia sucks & it ruins lives... but hopefully we can all get through it.

[kalyco]

I do the same thing with actors! I know, it seems crazy, but for some reason it makes me feel better to think that beautiful actors even have to deal with v- sometimes. I can totally relate to everything else too. I used to not worry so much until someone in my house or near me was actually s-. Now I worry and have anxiety about it all the time. Hopefully you find some relief through therapy. I hope to do that some day. I think all we can do is push through and go on living despite the fear. Then come here and freak out to people who get it!

[ann32]

i do the same thing with the actors. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US? hahaha. I say to myself with Angela and Bradd, I wonder how often they get stomach viruses with all of those kids. I head one of the twins was rushed to the hospital a couple of weeks ago with a very bad stomach bug, but then I was wondering if anyone else got it...UGH such crazy thoughts. I hate them...I think I need to be admitted somewhere.

[Senny]

I AM SO HAPPY I'm not the only one! I wish I had friends like you guys to meet with in a support group or something! I hate this fear.

[ann32]

i know right! it would be great!!!!

[myxillusi0ns]

I agree, there should be some sort of support group for us where we can all meet. But we are all over the place... I'm in New York... I don't know anyone else that has this phobia.

[Senny]

Do you guys feel like your anxiety is worse at night? I feel like mine is, because I feel alone. Even if someone is with me...when you wake someone up they aren't really there.. You know? They are groggy and not themselves so in the past when I would wake my boyfriend and he would sit up with me while I was an anxious, I would still feel alone because he wasn't REALLY awake...
Now I feel the same way with my husband.
I just feel more anxious and more obsessed with the "what if" thing at night.

[myxillusi0ns]

The same thing with me! My traumatic experience was at night so I always get anxiety at night which is when I take my Xanax, but I don't wanna always depend on that. I live with my family so even though i'm 23 I wake up my mom and tell her about it. It's crazy, I feel bad, but I can't help it sometimes.

[DeadxxInside92]

Mine is much more intense at night. You are not alone. It is because it's the time to wind down to prepare our body for rest. There are less distractions and it feels desolate because it feels as if the whole world is sleeping and you are the only one awake. It is normal for anxiety to rear it's ugly head at night. Unfortunate, right? Just remember you are not alone. I suffer from insomnia, therefore, I take Unisom sleep gels. They are extremely helpful and I never feel exhausted the next morning. Perhaps you could give them a shot if you haven't already. You can always pm me if you wanna vent/chat.