New member and I am really shocked how many people suffer the nightmare of this fear!

[Poppyvictoria]

My name is Poppy and im 21. I have an anxiety & mood disorder along with a severe fear of being S* which has caused me to having an eating disorder which ive had since i was 7 but has been very bad the past couple of years.. I have no idea how i get through everyday, i cry alot and take alot of medication i.e. diazepam just to get through the day. Sadly i also have 2 care for my mum who has MS which has caused her to loose alot of her sight.. times are so hard, it feels like some up there hates me and wishes to test me until i end it all.

over and over ive seen lots of specialiest which havent made the slightest different, i tried working a year ago but had 2 leave due to a nervous breakdown where i went down 2 just under 6 stone, a year on im slowly gaining weight and tryin to get out of the house again bcuz i did become agrophobic.

Its the time of year i dread even more S*bugs are coming about, im scared to go out even more now i dont wanna go near anyone and dread when anyone comes round. If anyone coughs or moves quickly i start panicing assuming there going to be sick. I hate my life so much, i see no way out of the nightmare is anyone in the same position as me?

Does anyone know how i can have a happy life? im so desperate and consistantly feel in dispair. i cant even end my life bcuz of being to scared of being sick how tradgic is tht!

[Mamba]

I really do feel your pain. It has started controlling my life in a horrible way. I can't do anything anymore. I'm afraid to touch everything. I'm afraid to move. I'm starting with a new therapist on Monday. Hoping for the best. I hope you can find a good therapist too.

[kasey]

Welcome Poppy. We all understand what you go through and hope you can find good support here.