why do i bother (graphic)

[Hale]

Last night was my sisters engagement party. I wasn't sure if I was going or not because I dislike her fiance and also i have had a virus and did not know if I would feel well enough to go. Well I slept the whole afternoon and felt a bit better so I went and I had a much better time than I thought. There was no trouble and everyone had a good trime but my sisters boyfriend was very very drunk. At the end of the night my Mum and Dad asked us to go back to their house for a drink. I asked my mum if she thought Chris was going to be sick and she said she honestly couldn't tell me. Then she said that she would love for me to come but she didn't think I should risk it but I thought no, I want to go so I am going to be brave. I wish I hadn't bothered. We had been there about 20 minutes when he burped and was sick in his hand then proceeded to let it drip all over his lap and my mum and dads chair. Disgusting! When I see someone sick it turns my stomach but I was actually on the verge of heaving and could not get it out my head. My dad had to bring me home and I had him sitting with me on one side and Mark on the other while I had a hug panic attack and cried and cried and cried. I got to sleep at about 4.45am and was awake again at 6.20 and I dreamed that all Chris' friends were drunk and being sick in my flat. I am so tired but the image keeps popping back into my head and making me feel sick. I know I can't catch it but the memory won't go away and it really makes me feel like I'm going to gag. I can't cope. I really try my best with this damn phobia. I try not to let it stop me from doing things but whats i the point because it gets me nowhere. I am so fed up right now. I am so tired but the image keeps popping back into my head and making me feel sick.

[sunshine16]

Aww hunn I am sorry you had to see that, and I know what you mean about the images not leaving you. After I see someone get sick, they haunt me for a couple days and though I'll never forget them, years later I remember them but not to the extreme they once were, and with time, they get easier to push out of your mind. Also, you know that you are not going to get sick and that this is just panic because you know that he only got sick because he was drunk. The feelings you are experiencing right now are just pure anxiety, so take some deep breathes, give yourself self talk like: I'm not going to be sick, its not like I caught a flu, and this feeling is just anxiety and it will go away. Anxiety cannot last forever, it will come, but it WILL go, because you'll just tire yourself out, especially if you didn't sleep well. Try distracting yourself by watching TV, and whenever those images come into your head think of a big red stop sign that will stop those images, and then immediatly after think of the happiest moment in your life. Hope this helps, and try to relax. Thinking bout ya,


Laura*

[terified girl]

Alot of us know exactly what your going through, and most of us will probably agree that seeing someone being sick is traumatizing and the image sticks with us for awhile, but it does go away, you can't believe it now because its still so frsh in your mind, but trust me, it will fade, and in a couple of years when you think back on it, you'll probably remember what happened, but you won't be able to remember every detail, and it won't bother you anymore, and maybe you'll even wonder then why it bothered you so much at the time. Give it a couple of days and you will start forgetting the images. But you also have to help yourself a little to not constantly think about it either. When it pops up into your mind, try to block it by getting into something else, a movie, a book, a past experience that was wonderful.


You'll be better soon![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[donna1216]

How terribly disgusting--and rude!! I am so sorry you had to go through that!!! I totally understand how you feel, aren't your parents a little disturbed by this behavior from their future son in law???? I would tell my daughter that he had better straighten up before she married him!!

[Hale]

My Mum and Dad know how much I dislike him and it has caused all sorts of trouble. What gets me is that my mum and dad bent over back wards to help him and my sister with the party, cooking food, setting up, letting his friend stay with them and to me it just was a complete lack of respect for them to get into that sort of state. I asked my dad if he had apologised and he said well he can't remember anything - like thats an excuse!

[helsbels]

I agree with you Hale, it'sdisrespectful (and quite immature IMO) to behave like that at someone else's house. My brother used to have parties at my parent's when I lived at home and sometimes his friends would do things like that, and it made me livid.


I hope you've managed to get some rest now and some of those memories are a little less vivid for you. I know it's hard when you keep replaying things over and over in your head, but you have to try and relax a bit, try to put it behind you and move on from it. It's probably not helped that you've been unwell and had an upsetting experience at the doctor so you feel a bit like there's no help for you. But there is, and whatever is best for you, you will find it and you will get well. And you're wedding will be fantastic.... take care Hx

[Hale]

thank you so much. I had a really bad night last night, at 11.45pm Mark had to call my Mum and Dad to come round because I was in such a panic and felt so close to heaving. They came but it made me feel worse so today I have arranged to see a hynotherapist on Wednesday. I am at the end of my tether and just want to see if she thinks there are any ways we could help me at the moment. Thanks again.

[helsbels]

Aw Hale, I'm so sorry that you are going through all this at the moment. I know you feel like you are close to despair, but you need to hang on in there.I know you will probably find this difficult to believe but when you come on here sometimes and you talk about situations you have had during your day to day work where kids have been ill and you have done things to help them, whilst keeping a level head on you and not panicking, I find that such a source of inspiration. It always makes me think that you are so strong because I know that I couldn't do it, I couldn't even take on a job like that in the first place. So I really hate to hear about you getting into such a state over some idiot who can't hold his drink, ya know? I know it's a culmination of things, not just that, it doesn't help that the doctor's been so unsympathetic, I wonder if now is the time where you might need to take some sort of anti-anxiety medication? If that is the case then maybe you should see about changing your doctor... in the meantime I really do hope that the hynotherapist can help.


My boss at work practices in a form of therapy where you tap certain places on the body whilst repeating things and thinking things (I'm sorry, I don't know exactly how it works but I think it's called EFT or TFT) you've probably heard of it. Anyway, she offers it to the students when they get themselves into a state over their exams and she also teaches people how to do it to themselves, she swears by it whenever she gets stressed, she does some of that, puts on some music, has a hot bath or something and she's right as rain. I think you just need to find a way that you feel comfortable with, to try to help you calm down in certain situations, because it's not good to let things affect you in this way.


I'm sorry you're going through this, take care, Hx

[Hale]

Thank you so much Helen. I went to see the hypnotherapist tonight and she was lovely. I am feeling more positive and I feel quite strong today. She says she is in no doubt that she can help me and I am more prepared than ever to be cured rather than just be able to manage with this awful phobia. I am trying not to get my hopes too high but I really want this to work. My first session is on Monday so I will keep you posted.

[helsbels]

Even if it helps with the anxiety, it's something isn't it? You can work on the phobia, but at the moment it sounds as if you have to get over this bout of anxiety. I personally think sometimes we just need a sympathetic ear and the belief from someone that there is something that can be done to help us, that in itself can go a long way towards making us feel more positive. If you can't get at least that from your doctor then it's a sad state of affairs.


I had a letter yesterday from the local hospital where I'm on a waiting list for CBT. I went on the waiting list back in October and they got me to fill in this questionnaire to help them assess my case. I've been waiting since then, I got a letter yesterday to say that I am still on the list, and there is now a wait of 6 months (I presume from now despite the fact that I've already been waiting for 5 months!!) and I had the same questionnaire again to fill in, plus another one... that took me all evening to fill in. I hope it's worth it, by the time I get seen I will have waited a year!!!Honestly, I sometimes wonder what the NHS is coming to, I really do! If it wasn't for the fact that I've had the phobia for about 25 years so another year is hardly gonna make a difference, then I wouldn't bother! I'm sure a lot of people don't.....