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  1. #1
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    Sep 2010
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    1,293

    Default people being sensitive

    I`ve noticed that some people on this site seem to think that if someone expresses an opinion that they hotly disagree with, they shout for the person to be banned. The thing is that people may have opinions that seem unacceptable to some, but I`m sure that they don`t say these things to offend, but are just speaking their minds. I know about this because I`ve had one or two e-mails from people that I`ve unwittingly upset. I think that some members should try to be more tolerant of those who put their foot in it, after all, we`ve all all said the wrong thing, & hacked someone off at some time in our lives.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Ohio
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    3,143

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    I agree with what you're saying to an extent, but I think it's crossing the line when someone uses offensive language in an attempt to make their point/state their opinion. For an example, there was a member who was recently banned--although I'm not going to use names--but this particular member was definitely taking it too far. This poster's messages were full of hostility and anger. I think that should not be tolerated under any circumstance. I like the fact that this is a no drama support group. It's why I come here so frequently because I don't feel judged, nor do I judge others. I agree that people who come here should be free to vent as freely as they want, but not when it means verbally attacking other members even if they disagree with what was originally stated.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    756

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    I agree with deadinside....one member who used bad language that was explicitly directed at all of us to me seemed unacceptable. Its one thing to state an opinion, and its a totally different thing to say "f u" to someone just cause you are an angry person.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    west michigan
    Posts
    1,339

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Theres not enough moderation here. Thats part of the problem.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Plainwell, MI
    Posts
    237

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    I know how you feel hairyfairy! Alot of people disagree with me and dont like me on here! Stay strong! Were all in this together

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    3,455

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Yes, there is a difference between cursing as you speak and cursing somebody out. We definitely try to run a drama free place here.

    That being said, many people think there is drama going on just because they disagree with somebody. If a person has a different opinion than another person, that's totally fine! Personal attacks, not so much.

    Fixxer, I'm wondering why you don't think there is enough moderation. Can you give me some examples so we can cover what you feel is missing? Also, keep in mind that if there is something we need to see we can get to it faster if you report the post.


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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    2,851

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    I have personally, only ever noticed them shouting for the user's banning when things have gotten out of control i.e slander, inappropriate language and man that list probably goes on forever.

    Simple disagreements are usually handled well when everyone cooperates and doesn't lose their muffins just because someone said "no, I don't agree."

    And Dylan, no one dislikes you here (and if they do well...) we don't even know you man! People were just very wary of you claiming to have the secret to curing all our woes after you have only been recovered what, a week? Then having no backbone to your claim to their immediate satisfaction. You can't take disagreements like that as a personal attack. I don't recall one user attacking you personally.

    In my opinion the moderation has been as fine as humanly possible...besides we all know Bonnie is like the terminator of moderating.
    Life is so worth living.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    557

    Default

    I had a moan on a post last week about the way some people talk about children on the site, had my head bitten off! Didnt bother me tho, i understand that some emets avoid kids because of the risk of catching illnesses, but to talk derogatory about them is offensive, its not the childs fault they are sick. Overall i find everybody great on here, very supportive and gives good advice.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Rhode Island, USA
    Posts
    2,754

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    I think the moderators do a fantastic job with keeping things running smoothly around here. People just need to realize that if someone disagrees with someone else, it's not "drama", it's simply a difference of opinions.

    Becca, I know the thread you are referring to and I think people got upset because nobody was speaking negatively about a child, they were just venting about how they dislike that they are sick too often. They weren't saying it was the child's fault or anything.
    My Mantra:
    If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.
    -Originally an IES member since October, 2009-


  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Vancouver
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    1,566

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Quote Originally Posted by asianeko View Post
    Yes, there is a difference between cursing as you speak and cursing somebody out. We definitely try to run a drama free place here.

    That being said, many people think there is drama going on just because they disagree with somebody. If a person has a different opinion than another person, that's totally fine! Personal attacks, not so much.
    People are way too sensitive to the point where it is pretty hysterical and entertaining. There is a huge difference between someone having a different opinion than another and a personal attack. I know I have been accused of "attacking" people multiple times and they then personally attack me, start multiple hate/I'm leaving threads all because I hold a different opinion then they do. I think the moderators are doing a great job. But I also think many people are FAR too sensitive and take a difference in opinion or a little sarcasm as a personal attack which is getting to a ridiculous level.
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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
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    Vancouver, BC, Canada
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    4,572

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    It helps if people report all problem posts. If we get a number of complaints we usually pm the person or sometimes reply on the thread. We mods often reply to the complainant however...if we think they're being too sensitive. Whatever the case one of us will deal with it. So please use your report button!
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    DISCLAIMER ~ Any advice I give on this forum is well-intentioned and given as to a peer or friend or for educational purposes. It does not in any way constitute psychotherapeutic or medical advice. Please discuss anything you may learn from my posts with your doctor and psychotherapist prior to making any decisions or changes or taking any actions.



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  12. #12
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    Jan 2012
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    12

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    __________
    Last edited by carrellim; 10-25-2018 at 10:59 PM.

  13. #13
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    Nov 2011
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    144

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    not everybody on this board is from the US....

  14. #14
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    Jan 2012
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    12

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    __________
    Last edited by carrellim; 10-25-2018 at 10:59 PM.

  15. #15
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    Nov 2011
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    144

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    hahaha no, I am from good ol' north carolina! but some other people might get sensitive about it

  16. #16
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    Dec 2010
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    west michigan
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    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Quote Originally Posted by sage View Post
    It helps if people report all problem posts. If we get a number of complaints we usually pm the person or sometimes reply on the thread. We mods often reply to the complainant however...if we think they're being too sensitive. Whatever the case one of us will deal with it. So please use your report button!

    are you an admin on here? i just shocked we do not see you on here more.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    United States
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    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Quote Originally Posted by fixxxer2012 View Post
    are you an admin on here? i just shocked we do not see you on here more.
    As I stated before, Sage is actually on here quite often. Just because she doesn't post doesn't mean she's not around. Keep in mind too that a few of us browse IES when we aren't logged in, so it won't update that we were on. Also, if there is anything we need to see, use the report button. We get notified of it via E-Mail.
    Last edited by asianeko; 01-06-2012 at 09:46 AM.


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  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    8

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Ya , my friend was jst banned on here and shes super upset bc she already apologized & promised to never react like that again, she only did something bad once.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire, England
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    3,620

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Quote Originally Posted by xpoisonedx View Post
    Ya , my friend was jst banned on here and shes super upset bc she already apologized & promised to never react like that again, she only did something bad once.
    As I mentioned on your other thread about this you would be best PMing Asianeko or Sage for the reasons as to her being banned, she was banned before you joined IES so you may have missed some things best not discussed further on here.

  20. #20
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    Feb 2012
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    8

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Quote Originally Posted by paulinek View Post
    As I mentioned on your other thread about this you would be best PMing Asianeko or Sage for the reasons as to her being banned, she was banned before you joined IES so you may have missed some things best not discussed further on here.
    Ya I kno, Im a personal friend of hers tho, I just pmed sage && asianeko

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    USA
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    3,363

    Default Re: people being sensitive

    Hi, all,

    Just chiming in to make myself known to people who may not know me. I am Mary, a moderator and a member for over 10 years. I don't browse the site as often as I used to, but I get the moderator e-mails and I try my best to help when I can. Bonnie and Sage are AWESOME, but they are right, if you report a post, it will get seen quickly. I get those e-mails and always look into them right away. I have also made some friends here over the years and they are often kind enough to e-mail, text, or FB me to let me know of some drama I may have missed.

    Mary
    "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."

 

 

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