I need to share this.

[NatalyKay]

Okay. So my boyfriend of 2 years and I broke up 2 months ago, yet I was still sleeping with him for awhile. He is still crazy in love with me, and tries to control who I see, and what I can and can't do.

Saturday night, we both go to a party at our friend's house. He gets super wasted, and ends up being extremely sick. Once he gets better, he wants me to be in the bedroom he's in with him. I didn't want to lay too close to him in case he got sick again, and also his breath smelled like vomit. But anyway, we both thought that we heard someone he doesn't like, who hits on me a lot, was downstairs. He tries to get up because he wanted to "f*cking kick his ass", I had to pull him back onto the bed to stop him. I was a little drunk as well, and I told him if he did that then I would never talk to him again. He says "yeah, because you don't f*cking love me" and then he kicked me in the stomach, which made me fall off of the bed and crash against a wall, which ended up spraining my left wrist, and giving me a hairline break on my left ring finger (ironic, right?). When I ran out of the room to go downstairs, he chased after me, grabbed me and tried pulling me back upstairs. Our friends had to pull him away, one of them putting him in a choke hold to keep him away from me.

Now, he is telling me how much he wants to kill himself, and he still does not want me to be with anyone else. He says that it's not fair to him that I was with him for 2 years, said I wanted to marry him, and then all of a sudden decide I don't want to be with him anymore. Yes, that is unfair, but now I don't want to be with him because 1. I don't love him, and 2. he broke my finger.

I don't know what I am suppose to do. He won't let me go. He says he will do anything I ask of him, but he refuses to leave me alone. I don't know what to do. I need help. I really, really need advice. Please, someone help me.

[deeendnamtoe]

Get OUT of that relationship! It is NEVER okay to physically abuse someone like that. Do what you have to do: Stop talking to him. Change your phone number. File a restraining order! Someone who truly loves you would NEVER hurt you. You need to do what is best for you and this relationship is obviously not working. Good luck and remember that you deserve better!

[NatalyKay]

I just don't want him to kill himself. That's all I'm focused on.

[CMM811]

He won't kill himself, he is saying that because he can control you that way...you need to run FAR away from that male (no I won't call him a man because a man would NEVER put his hands on a female especially one he "loves") anyways, if you are in therapy I advise talking about this guy. You do NOT need him!

[NatalyKay]

I'm not in therapy but I'm thinking I should be now.. This whole situation is just making me sick.. I don't know what to do.. If I tell him how I'm feeling he'll just say something like I deserve it. I hate this. I hate him.

[DeadxxInside92]

I agree that he is threatening suicide as a means of manipulation. He will keep trying to control you until you take immediate action. However, there is always a chance he really is serious about suicide and in that case you cannot really take chances so you need to get ahold of someone who can help. I think it's best you contact authorities and inform them of the current situation you are in and how you think he really needs help right now. It sounds like he has a lot of underlying issues he needs to deal with and it's not fair that he's bringing them on you as well. I think spending some time in a mental health facility may do him some good. It would be a nice break from reality and provide him with a head start in terms of treatment and recovery. Good luck!

[asianeko]

The GUY needs therapy, darling! He is just trying to control you! I agree with everyone else, his threatening suicide is just so you come back. First off, you don't love him so you shouldn't put yourself through the pain of having to be in a one-sided relationship. It's not fair to either of you. Secondly, he's abusive! That is not okay at all! I don't' care if he was drunk, it's not an excuse to be violent, especially to somebody that he supposedly loves.

I was in a relationship like that once, and trust me, telling the guy it's completely done, no chances left feels so hard, but it's really so worth it! I had a friend I would call every time my ex (bf at the time) made me cry, or hurt my feelings, or did something inappropriate. If he hung up on me, I'd call my friend so I wouldn't be tempted to call him back. It really made distancing myself easier, and it gave me somebody else to go to who understood everything and was extremely supportive. Perhaps something like that may help you out?

[tshell]

RUN FAR FAR AWAY from him! My ex husband used that threat against me all the time... I finally got tired of it, handed him a gun and told him to go outside to do the deed because I didn't want to clean up the mess.... Basically, I called his bluff... He could NOT believe I would do that to him but he never brought up the stupid idea anymore. Yes it was a chance I was taking but I was so tired of him using that to manipulate my feelings and reactions to the empty threat..... It took some doing (we have kids) but i did finally stand up to him and got him out of my life. Just remember, if he does do anything stupid to harm himself, IT IS NOT your fault!! He made that choice He made that decision... NOT you!

[NatalyKay]

I'm not talking to him. It seems that every time I talk to him, I just give him the benefit of making me feel like crap. All I can do right now is hope that his friends will take care of them, and that he will move on.

[olschesky]

definitely time to move on......these situations usually don't get better. it's not possible to be "friends" with him at this point.....maybe further on down the road but right now you need to just totally keep him out of your life.

too many horrible stories that come from situations like this........be careful..

[kristinak]

In Florida, if you threaten suicide or even imply that you don't want to be on this earth any longer, the county will Baker Act you. (put you in the hospital involuntarily for three days, minimum.) I would call the police and ask them if they do that there in California, and then I would change my phone number and even go so far as to get a restraining order to keep him away. Needless to say, you sleeping with him is giving him the WRONG signals, so that needs to stop ASAP!

[scaredsick]

Never talk to him again, and if I were you, I'd file a restraining order AND a police report stating he kicked you in the stomach and broke your finger. I don't mean to sound uncaring, but seriously, if he kills himself, he kills himself...it's NOT your fault whatever he does with/to his life. He's verbally abusing you by saying he's going to kill himself to keep you---that's all he's doing. I dated a guy like this once, and guess what, once I changed the locks and called the police, after threatening he'd kill himself if I left him, he met someone else and got married...he's not dead. So, get out and don't ever go near him again!

[heydani]

Coming from a similar situation, I feel your pain. However, id f he says he will kill himself at all, then he won't. Most of the people that have killed themselves in the past, haven't told anyone about it. He just wants your attention. If you have no feelings for him, then just try to steer clear as much as possible.

[NatalyKay]

In Florida, if you threaten suicide or even imply that you don't want to be on this earth any longer, the county will Baker Act you. (put you in the hospital involuntarily for three days, minimum.) I would call the police and ask them if they do that there in California, and then I would change my phone number and even go so far as to get a restraining order to keep him away. Needless to say, you sleeping with him is giving him the WRONG signals, so that needs to stop ASAP!

I read this, laughed out loud and said OBVIOUSLY I'm not sleeping with him anymore! hahaha, thank you for your concern though. I don't know if California does that or not, but I haven't heard anything about it lately so I'm assuming he's saying it to control me. That's how he is. He did that all of the time, he would say little things about how I looked so that I could look the way he wanted to, he would say little things about how I acted so that I would act the way he wanted to, he just manipulated me through our entire relationship.

[NatalyKay]

I want to say that I really appreciate all of your support, it means the world to me. I'm still scared as can be about what the outcome is, but I know I'll have people I can count on to help me get through it. I love you guys, thank you.

[DeadxxInside92]

Ohio kind of has the same policy if anyone talks of suicide or any feelings of suicide. Usually the authorities will take the subject to the hospital emergency room for an evaluation by a mental health doctor and then go from there. If the subject is deemed unstable then they will be transported to a psychiatric facility for a minimum of 3-5 days. I think it's a very good policy. Most people are able to access help that way.