As many of you know, I have been battlingsevere OCD for the past few years along with emetophobia, and if anything, it's only gotten stronger and stronger over the months. (The OCD. Luckily, the emet is in check right now **knocks on wood**)


Well, my therapist, psychiatrist, parents, and I were all at a loss of what to do for a while. We were stuck in the mud in terms of progress and treatment options, and things just weren't getting any better, no matter what we tried. So we started exploringother options, and we found a therapist who specializes in OCD in Houston!!! There are only 2...yes 2 therapists who specialize in OCD in the state of Texas, the other one being in Austin. So I am so very lucky to have one close to home!! I am having my first appointment with this new therapist on Thursday, and I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY nervous! I hate change and I was so reluctant to agree to make an appointment with this new therapist at first. (I know it sounds silly, but with me change is just so hard.) But I am going on Thursday and I just hope that this new lady can help me.


My current therapist is just a general therapist and doesn't specialize in OCD. But the thing is, I have gotten very attatched to her, and we are working on other issues together, not justOCD,so I will be seeing her along with the OCD specialist. So that gives me some comfort. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Hopefully everything will work out this Thursday, and it will open a few more doors! [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


I ask that you please keep me in your thoughts! I have been with the same therapist for nearly five years, and seeing someone new, as you all know is very scary! Plus, I keep fearing that "what if she doesn't work out," etc. etc. In other words, just being my anxious self! LOL! [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]


I know it's silly and sounds really stupid, but I fear recovery. I tend to identify myself with OCD and my other disorders and don't really know what I will do or who I will be without them. Does that make anysense? Like I worry andobssessall the time about sometimes nonsense things (mostly nonsense things), but I ALWAYS have to be worrying or obssessing about SOMETHING, otherwise my mind is empty and I make something up to worry about and worry about it. It's crazy, and my mind is constantly doing worry workouts! So I'm just afraid that the therapy will change me or take away part of who I am. I know it sounds irrational, and probably doesn't make that much sense to you,but then again, I'm not the most rational person, lol! And I don't make sense most of the time! [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]


Anyway, I just thought I would update you guys on where I was...


Love to you all!!


By the way, who else is glad it's finally spring?? WE MADE IT THROUGH THE WINTER MY FRIENDS!!!! YESS!!!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Edited by: NCsmile6