This is getting bad for me

[madisonsmom]

I am getting so much worse. I am at the point where I dont wanna go out of my house. I am depressed...I know I am. I dont know why because things are really going well for me and my family.


Last night I started to have a panic attack. I havent had one of those in a long time. I did get a grip on it by laying down and talking myself out of it. I really need to go to the doctor sooner than April.[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[jptk]

things dont have to be bad in your life for you to have depression. the stress of constant worrying about being sick is enough to depress anyone. I think you should definately go to the doctor sooner than april, the quicker the better, so you can have one less thing to worry about

[spinnerchick]

Madisons Mom-


I saw your post a little while ago but did not respond right away because I wanted to give it some consideration. I am sorry you are depressed and having a hard time leaving your house. Are you afraid of encountering v* or germs that cause v*? You see my emet seems to have gotten a little worse lately also, and I can't wait to have my first meeting withmy therapist this Tuesday. But what I'm thinking is this...I would never suggest to anyone that they cut back on using this site becauseI know it is really helpful and supportive and it exists for a good reason. I myself only came across it recently andI'm sothankful to know its here and that other people suffer as I do. However,I've been starting to think that certain posts might be the cause of my increased anxiety. (I'm not blaming anyone in particular or suggesting people edit their posts in any way. Its my problem, not yours, and everybody needs to be able to come here to get things off their chest!) But as for my recent experience goes, last week somebody on the site wrote that they witnessed a child v* on the subway in New York City (where I live)and ever since I have been moreparanoid than I used to bewhen I ride the subway. (Which is everyday because that's how I get to and fromwork.) Now I'm constantly looking around, moving seats if a child comes near me, watching peoples faces for signs of nausea, etc, etc. It makes me want to quit my job really. But I don't think that people v* on the subway or in publicall that often. Because emets are hypersentive to it, we post about it whenever we witness it which leads us to believe everywhere we turn we are going to encounter v*. This is why I think I am going to try and cut back on my use of the site at leastuntil I've started my therapy. (I've been logging on about 10 times a day!) This might not be the right approach for you at all, I don't know you well enough to psychoanalyze why you are feeling so depressed, but I thought this post might give you food for thought. I hope I haven't offended you in any way. I'll also log on a little later to read your repsonse. In the meantime, enjoy your Easter, your children (I really admire you for having children), and take care of yourself.


-Nicole

[donna1216]

I am so so sorry you are feeling this way!! I was actually that way too in January, we hardly left the house for almost a month. I kept Logan out of school a few days, I didn't take Haley to play group, I made Greg go to the grocery store for me, we missed church--I know how you feel!!!! I am actually getting alittle better--even after the incident with the kid in the dr.'s office. I hope you can find the strength to overcome this!!!! I know it's hard!!! Let me know if you need to talk!!!

[jennyleigh1975]

I am sorry that you are going through a rough time right now. I get where I am kinda scared to leave the house, like in Jan. and Feb. Well, more to the point, I wont take the children out hardly any at all. Which I know is probally not good, but I just feel like by keeping them home I am lessing their chances of getting anything. We still go out alot, but I ALWAYS have the those thoughts on my mind of "what if?" I think that no matter what time of year it is.

Do you think if you called your doctors office and tell them what is going on that they might would see you sooner?

I think that with us homeschooling to that it is easy to just fall into that routine of staying home, that sometimes there just really is no need to go out, know what I mean? I have a friend that homeschools and they rarely go anywhere, and she is not an emet.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

[madisonsmom]

I did go to the grocery store today. I think I have been in my house too long. Yesterday 2 friends just popped in to say hi and brought all these kids over. I think this is what sparked my worry. I got a little overwhelmed. I have been having chest pains off and on, heart palpitations,and pressure feelinging in my chest. I know its anxiety...I havent had it effect me like this in awhile. Its normally just the nausea. All those terrible feelings got me SO panicky! UGH!! I have been doing so well.


As far as this site is concerned...I actually like to offer my advice to others. I love to help others but I also post for opinions when something happens. I see you guys as my friends. It really does not bother me when someone posts of sickness. I just have a problem when someone I know is sick or if I know there is outbreaks going on. Actually the other message board I go on, February 2004 babies, makes me anxious sometimes reading about these tummy bugs going on. There was a regular epidemic on there last month! UGH! When I come on this site I expect to hear about this stuff. I dont know, maybe it bothers me more than I realize.


Thanks for your support...you guys are awesome![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[jennyleigh1975]

What other message boards/websites do you visit?Edited by: jennyleigh1975

[madisonsmom]

SheKnows message boards. I been on that one since I got pregnant with Madison. Here is a link. They are wonderful bunch of ladies!!!![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


http://talk.sheknows.com/forumdispla...mp;daysprune=& amp; amp;f=217


I also go on this one but I dont post much because all they do is argue[img]smileys/smilies_07.gif[/img] I did post there quite a bit when I was pregnant but not now! They like to debate about ff/bf...all that stuff and they compare kids UGH!


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv...04n?redirCnt=2


Edited by: madisonsmom

[shiva]

Madisonsmom.


The fact that you are aware that things are not how you would like them to be at home and in your life probably mean more than you give yourself credit for. I know that it is hard, and my thoughts are with you. Is there anyway that you can get in to see someone sooner? When in April is your apointment? I am truely sorry that you are going through this right now. Have you ever hear the saying that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can get better? Maybe that's what is going on here.. Maybe from this you will eventually get strength and pull yourself out of this thing once and for all. I sure hope so. I know that once you start therapy things will be much better for you. Until then, hang in there. You know you have ample support here. Take care of you.


Beth

[mitch4133]

I agree shiva, if you recongize that you don't want to have to be at home so often, then that is the first step of correcting the problem. For you to know that this is not what you want, I give you credit too. Also, I think and maybe this is wrong, but I have been cooped up at home for so long because of being sick, that it seems when I do go out I always get sick. Not sv, but when you don't expose yourself to the everyday germs that your body can normaly fight off, it seems that you are more likely to catch colds and stuff. That is not meaning to scare anyone, but I have never been more sick in all of my life. Granted my immune system is nothing, but I don't ever get exposed to the "good" germs either. Does that make sense?? I just think that once you are able to get over this, and find out that going out will not make you sick, and make you actually feel better, things will look up.

I just know exactly how you feel. I don't really go anywhere. I just go grocery shopping, and everytime I do that, I just wonder what the hell did I pick up this time. Being able to go out and do things will actually build up our immune systems, and our tolerences to germs. I just look at my boyfriend, he isa police officer, and touches dirty people on a daily basis, and is NEVER sick. I go out to the store, and in 2 days I have a cold, that he never even gets frombeing around me. And, I just think back to when I did work at the police station, and I was exposed to so many germs, and I would get sick maybe once or twice a year. And this year, I have been sick 4 times since January.


I just hope everything works out for you. I will be thinking of you.


Michele

[madisonsmom]

Well I start my new job on Wednesday and believe me...I will be exposed to plenty (Im a RN) Sometimes I wonder why in the world I chose to be a nurse[img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]. I freak when someone has a stomach virus. I have been thinking of going back to school to do radiology. That is what I have always wanted to do but I went into nursing because of the demand. I did really well in school to hate being around sick people. I can take care of just about anything except someone with a stomach virus. PATHETIC! Its just one of those things I guess.


There has been so much going around...including sv's I have chosen to stay home away from everyone. I cant keep doing this. My kids DO NOT deserve it.


I go to the doctor in mid April - I forget the date[img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]. I feel a little better tonight. Thanks again for your caring words!

[mitch4133]

oh yea sorry, I forgot you are a RN [img]smileys/smilies_09.gif[/img]so you def are exposed to enough!!

[2jo2]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. I was in that same place many times so I know what it feels like. In December was the most recent and it took everything I had to go to work in the morning. I just wanted to shut my door and not come out til it was quitting time and then I'd go home and be a lump there. April is pretty soon, so it's not much longer to see the doctor. Until then, come here, open your windows at home, be in the sun, really I think that helps a little.


I also had to add that you really are brave to be a nurse with this phobia. Alot of emets would have scrapped their dreams and gone to something safe. You should be proud that you went ahead with it!

[madisonsmom]

It doesnt help that it has been gray and rainy everyday for a week. We are having great temperatures, in the 60's and in the 70's Thursday...but of course I work![img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[realtaken]

For anyone who hates those sv's, there is a great book out there that I have read, but just never really took it to heart. It is called The Maker's Diet by Jordan Ruben and he has his own line of supplements and cleansing products that he states will keep you from ever getting ill. I bought the clenzology system and there is this great stuff in it for hand washing. You dig your nails in it and smooth it all over your nails and wash for awhile to get all of those germs and dirties out of them. I would recommend it to anyone (I need to do it myself). I am sorry you have been feeling like you need to stay in as well, Madisonmom. I have been feeling the same way since my own came down with the sv last week. I can't wait for the warmer days to get here (here in California it is really cold right now). If you need someone to talk to, I am also here always [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]


Stephanie

[jennyleigh1975]

Heres one emet right here who didnt follow her dream of being a nurse. All because of vomit ............ (sighs) Maybe one day. I have a friend in nursing school right now, and I am kinda envious of her.

I think that the weather does play a huge part in how we feel. When its sunny, we feel sunny, when its dreary .......... we feel dreary too. I hope you get to feeling sunnier!!!!