relapsed and totally panicked

[annaki]

so i have been doing fairly well for the last few months...even traveled across the atlantic without too much problem (travel has always been a problem for me). I haven't even been on the site for the last 2 months. but tonight, i feel actually nauseous. i know people say you can tell the difference, and i think i can. i don't think i've felt like this in years and years. i took a zofran but i'm so afraid this is going to be it. i ate fish for dinner and i work in a hospital. who knows what it is.
i haven't v in like 10 years and i don't think i can do this! i would rather die. can someone help me??? no one understands the utter panic and fear that comes along with this phobia. please help me...please...

[annaki]

i can't even type i am shaking so much. i don't know what to do. i can't think about anything else...none of my usual distractions are working. i wish i hadn't eaten the fish. i don't want to be poisoned.