i'm driving myself mad!

[Lola444]

so i've just been out walking with my boyfriend and our dog, i mentioned that i was getting hungry for dinner and he said that he wasn't very hungry as he felt bloated...he went on to say its because he had three large filter coffees and its made him feel bloated and taken away his appetite.

Of course i jump to conculsions, (he understands about my emet) I start quizzing him 'do you feel s*' 'have you got d*' 'do you feel like you need to go to the toilet' etc etc...and i literally pull apart our whole day together and try to work out the likihood of him being ill.

He repeats how it is all down to the filter coffee and that its not even dinner time but i just don't believe him!

I suppose i've just realised how hard it must be for him and my family, he made an 'off the cuff' comment and i freaked out! He said he feels like i never believe him no matter what he says and i guess he's right!

is anyone else like me? quiz their family members until their blue in the face and never believe them when they say their fine anyway!? Looks like i'll be panicing for the next few hours whilst i monitor if he's starting to feel poorly!

i'm enough to drive myself insane! lol

[kayliefryer]

hi lola, i did the self same thing to my other half a few days ago. He is diabetic so he has to eat frequently. i asked him how he was feeling and got a response along the lines of "my tummy is a bit unsettled actually" to which i replied in full blown painc: "are you feeling s*???? if so why????? why didnt you tell me????? dont touch me!!!!. *kaylie runs away*

i drive myself insane with this everyday, as soon as someone evern slightly suggests a feeling of discomfort in the abdominal area im just an anxious mess

feel your frustration

[Lola444]

yeah Kaylie, its horrible isn't it!! thing is, about an hour before he mentioned it we got close (you know, nudge nudge wink wink!) and i'm going mad with him about it! why did he come near me if he felt ill etc! and he keeps repeating 'i don't feel ill, i'm bloated'

ahh poor man, don't know how he puts up with me! lol

I'm like you, the same with eveyone, like the other day, a colleague rushed out the room. I spent the next three minutes debating how long i'd been stood near her, if i'd touched anything of hers or if she stood to close when she spoke to me....and when she came back in the room i asked if you was okay....she answered bold as brass 'yeah, needed that piss'!! worry for nothing! lol

[kayliefryer]

its getting really bad for me, not so much at work because im behind big glass screens all day. my mother has a two year old son who has been violently ill tonight and ive been sitting in my house for the past 3 hours stewing over it, ive showered, stripped all my clothes off and scrubbed myself. Know one seems to understand that it terrifies me. My mam just looked at me as if to say im stupid and insensitive to his illness but i really cant help it, i left her house in floods of tears and had to phone a relative to pick me up. i just dont know how to cope with it anymore x

[LouiseR]

Ohh I do this ALL the time! If anyone mentions feeling a bit off or having a bad nights sleep I have to find out if they've had v* or d*

My dad went to bed early the other night because he had stomach pains and I found myself standing outside his room just before I went to bed listening to hear if he was being sick! Then he didn't get up in the morning and my mum said he was up all night with a bad tummy which totally made me freak out and ask if he was being sick and if he might have a virus etc...

I always feel kinda guilty doing this because rather than it being out of concern for the person who might be ill it's because i'm scared i'll catch it.
Kayliefryer my mum doesn't understand it either, if i mention being scared im gonna get sick she tells me to stop being ridiculous, or if i want to avoid something and fess up that its because im scared ill get sick she just thinks im being stupid. It's hard for others to understand how we can be this scared of v* if they don't have emet themselves

[kayliefryer]

ive not met a single person who dose understand. my boyfriend tries to but instead he tells me that hes physically, deliberatly made himself s* before and that im silly for thinking that its gunna harm me or make me poorly. if im feeling ill i dont know how he can sit and cuddle me untill i feel better. why isnt he scared that hes gunna catch whatever it is that making me feel that way ?? i feel more and more stupid the more he points out to me that its ok and that its natural. just makes you feel a bit crazy and irrational dosnt it? but still we cant grasp that it might not be as bad as were making it out to be . Just makes you feel damn right stupid to be honest x

i hope your dads feeling better now. i couldnt possibly stay in the same house as someone with a tummy bug so your a better person than me! lol x

[LouiseR]

It turned out he wasn't sick or anything, just in too much pain to sleep...was very odd but he's fine now, probably a bad case of indigestion.

No I don't know anyone else that understands apart from my one other friend who has a phobia of sick, though not as bad as me. I reckon people with other really bad phobias would get it, though i think most phobias are quite easily avoidable so they dont have to live in constant fear of them.
Definitely makes me feel crazy, but at the same time i'm also like how are you not afraid?? My housemate really doesn't mind v*, she just doesnt get why it would bother me, and she spent the whole day with a friend who then later got really sick and she wasn't the slightest bit worried. If only I was like that!

[kayliefryer]

I wish! I remember a time when i was about 12 years old and i was still living at home with my sister. We were upstairs doing some ironing and all of a sudden she just bolted down the stairs and started being s*. She walked up the stairs 10 mins later with a chocolate bar and a glass of diet coke, i on the other hand was cowering in the corner crying and flinching away from her. she sat and laughed at me.

i didnt find it funny! lol

[Lola444]

i wish i could not worry too. Update - my boyfriends gone upstairs to the toilet as he feels he needs to go have another bm and feels a bit sick. I can't believe it. i am shaking and petrified. Its not like i can do good hygiene now, we were intimate this afternoon so will definately have caught something. It can't be food either, we've eaten the same food for two days.

now i keep going and listening at the bottom of the stairs just in case i hear him v*.

can't believe i'm in this situation

[kayliefryer]

when someone else is in the house and could be poorly and has gone to the toilet to be *sick i try to make myself a cup of tea and sit in the fresh air. it tends to help my heart rate fall and the air takes the edge off that horrile feeling you get when someone tells you that they're feeling that way. i also drink lots of water because thats what people do when they feel poorly, also neutralizes some of the acid in the stomach

give it a go x

[Lola444]

i'm sipping lots of water now, Thing is i have d* symptoms but i think thats anxiety, its pretty normal for me to get that when anxious.

We're suppose to be having a roast dinner at 8, but he's not hungry and i'm so nervous i may never eat again!

just wish i knew if he was defo going to be s*. he says he just feels like he has an iffy tummy :-(

[kayliefryer]

im exactly the same, it starts as soon as anyone mentions it. another little remedy ive came across that helps with an upset tummy is peppermint tea. you can buy it for under £1 at holland and barrot and it really helps to soothe tummy ache. Invest in some and next time you or your other half feels a bit sickly have a cup. it could save all of the worrying in the long run.

[Lola444]

thanks for being there Kaylie, appreciate it. Thing about emet is you feel alone even when others are around. just dreading him v* as then it'll defo be me next x

[kayliefryer]

All ive ever wanted is someone who understands and yes you do still feel alone. and just because he is ill dosnt mean that you are going be. the immune system works in different ways for different people and in my experience, people wih emetophobia are less likely to get ill de to the enhanced hygine and some strange ability to bypass tummy bugs and illnesses, remember this and you might save yourself alot of worry. 1st chance you get, jump in the shower and cool down abit, if your anything like me you will be sweating, heart will be going crazy and you will be breathing erratically. Next, put on something comfortable ( nighties are best for me because theres no restriction around your tummy to make you feel worse). Then just try and distract your mind. i was once told by one of my uni friends that when ever he felt like he was going to be s* that he would imagine and think of all the different wooden tables he could conjurer up in his head. And that worked! even for me!

[Lola444]

i'm shaking and shivering but am cold (but then it is minus 1 out) my hearts going mad. Just changed into my dressing gown, had to use the bathroom but washed my hands bigtime!

Wouldn't it be nice if you knew for a fact if you were going to be ill, he's laying on the sofa now. He said he feels like he's getting a cold. Last time he was ill, he told me that he didn't actually feel sick until minutes before he v*. so i can decide whether he'll be ill or not.

I'm knitting at the mo to distract me but i'm liking your idea for conjouring up different wooden tables, thats a good idea!

[kayliefryer]

It really dose work, I thought he was bonkers when he said that but shortly after I was told to do that while I was in a fit of panic I must have fell asleep and woke up the next day feeling fine

[Lola444]

i'll defo be using it when i go to bed! i'll be taking some night nurse too in the hope it sends me off to sleep. oh god, i feel like i'm sat on a time bomb...just sat here waiting for him to be sick :-(

[hairyfairy]

I always feel anxious if someone around seems under the weather, I worry that it might be noro.

[cazamoon]

OMG I do this all the time to my husband and my daughter they both normally have such good appetites but if one of them says that they are not hungry or do not seem to eat what I feel is normal I freak out it is question after question what have you eaten today? have you been to the toilet today? (funny i know) etc I am surprised my husband has not clicked yet although he knows I have a phobia if that is the right word i do not just do this to them though it is anyone around me who makes a comment about there stomach or feeling unwell

[Erica1649]

Lola, Lola, are you sure you aren't writing a story about me?? LOL I am just as bad if not worse than you haha.

If my hubsand says hes not that hungry yet, I ask ninety questions are you feeling ok? You never say that...then sometimes when I'm super paranoid I start judging movement and facial expressions haha...it kinda gets him annoyed.

[Lola444]

yep erica, we must live the same story!! i analyse every movement, facial expression, even wind noises...thats gross i know but i'm obsessed!! My poor nephew and niece...if there aren't being 100% fun and laughter i think they have a bug...i'm crackers! lol