Hyperemesis Gravidarum - GRAPHIC

[Makeeba]

Hi Everyone,
I'm new here, and I just wanted to share an experience I had...but where oh where do I begin???
Ok. I have emetophobia. I came to this realization several years ago, when i finally accepted the fact that the act of vomiting (either by myself or another) caused such extreme fear and anxiety that i would tremble uncontrollably was not normal. having to watch tv with my finger on the remote control mute button or programming it to go to a "safe" tv station was not normal. watching movies in theater with my hands over my ears was not normal. and so on.
In 2006, i became pregnant, but i miscarried at 7 weeks. i had no morning sickness.
in 2009, i became pregnant again, this time with all day sickness. i wretched and dry heaved all day. i lost 12 lbs. i was diagnosed with mild hyperemesis gravidarum, and it was easily managed with powerful anti-emetics, but that pregnancy unfortunately ended at 3 months. my husband and i were devastated. genetic tests revealed later that we were going to have a boy.
in 2011, i became pregnant for the third time, however, my hyperemesis graduated from mild to severe. again, i heaved and wreched all day. i lost over 20 lbs. my life and the life of my baby were in danger, so i, my husband and my doctors all agreed that i needed to have a naso-gastric tube placed. basically, a feeding tube is placed in my nose, down my throat and into my stomach. however my nausea was so severe, that the tube had to bypass my stomach and go into my small intestine. through that tube, i received liquid nutrition. i had it in for a total of 5 weeks. in those 5 weeks, i still had severe nausea, and was vomiting stomach acid daily. my throat became damaged from the acid, and i was unable to talk for about two weeks. my tube also became clogged and i had to have the old ones removed and replaced three times in the er. i was in the hospital for about one month. at 17 weeks pregnant, my nausea started to resolve, and i was able to eat again. i regained the 20 lbs i lost, plus 10!
i am sitting here today, typing this while holding my 10 week old baby girl. she is beautiful!!!
a couple of doctors told me that i could terminate my pregnancy...but that was not ever an option. no matter what, i was going to have my baby.

i am sharing this because i want everyone to know that yes, you can have emetophobia, but it does not have you. i still have emetophobia, my baby spits up, she even vomited a couple times which left me slightly shaken. we recently gave her the rotavirus vaccine, because it is live (weakend) virus, it can shed in her feces, so now i am going crazy with worry...but i am coping.

in short, my emetophobia does not rule me, and i does not have to rule you. you can have emetophobia, and live a rich, full, happy life.

through my experience, i can tell that i am on the road to living fear free, but i know it will be a very long, tough road, with a few set backs, nevertheless, i AM on that road with my eyes on the prize.

keep YOUR eyes on the prize.

love,
makeeba

[jpmomma1]

Thank you for sharing your story. Congrats on your baby girl! Children make our lives so much richer!
Xoxo- Kelly ( proud Momma to twins Jacks and Presley almost 2)
It goes by in a flash so cherish every moment!

[afraid213]

I'm almost 11 weeks pregnant a feel so sick all of the time. This will be my 4th baby...with my last pregnancy, my anxiety go horrible and it got to the point where I was terrified to eat.I'mactually handling this pregnancys sickness a lot better than my last one. I just hope I can't keep up the good job I'm doing. I found out I was pregnant about 7 weeks ago and today has been a bad anxiety day....I was wondering if you have any suggestions to get over the sick feeling and the panic and just the general anxiety I feel all day?

[Makeeba]

Thank you sooo much jpmomma1.

afraid123, focus on the phenomenal job you did with your last pregnancy, and acknowledge that because you are handling this pregnancy better than the last one, you are getting better.

Don't think about vomiting. Focus on things you love. While I was home, I window shopped on the internet.

I also kept a diary of my experiences, and on a particularly bad day, I read back to myself what I had written. I would fully immerse myself in my experience.

Also, make small attempts to eat everyday.

Try half a cracker, the next day, try a whole one...and so on. Before you know it you'll have eaten through a whole box!

If you need to vomit, resolve to let it happen. Take a deep breath and allow it to happen.

Tell yourself that this is a natural process. Vomiting is a normal, natural part of life. Vomiting is not meant to cause you harm, it is simply the forceful ejection of stomach contents. I found that vomiting over the toilet or sink was particularly difficult. When I had to vomit,I would do it in an extra large disposable plastic cup, it helped me to remember that I was not sick, in fact, I was very healthy, I was pregnant! Keep telling yourself, "Hey, I'm not sick! I'm pregnant."



I hope this helps.

[lizzo]

Wow, I want to commend you on how brave you were! That story sounds very stressful for you, the baby, and your husband. I'm glad you pulled through and are in a better place now.

But I want to know, what do you tell yourself when you are sick, and not pregnant?

[Makeeba]

Hi lizzo,

Sorry I took so long to respond. Thank you for your kind words.

Being sick, as you know, is absolute torture.

I tell myself that there is nothing I can do about it, and if my body needs to do this, I have to let it.

I kind of have to come to terms with the fact that I need to relinquish control.

It's very hard though.

I have boxes of Pepto in my med cabinet. If I even feel a little nauseous, I run for my Pepto tablets.

I pray for the day that I can just respond normally and not be on the verge of a nervous breakdown at the possibility of vomiting.

Being pregnant sure made the idea of vomiting a little easier to accept. The idea of being sick, and that sickness causing me to vomit is torture.

I don't know if this helps, but it's what I do...doesn't work all the time, but it's all I have for now...

[lizzo]

Hi lizzo,

Sorry I took so long to respond. Thank you for your kind words.

Being sick, as you know, is absolute torture.

I tell myself that there is nothing I can do about it, and if my body needs to do this, I have to let it.

I kind of have to come to terms with the fact that I need to relinquish control.

It's very hard though.

I have boxes of Pepto in my med cabinet. If I even feel a little nauseous, I run for my Pepto tablets.

I pray for the day that I can just respond normally and not be on the verge of a nervous breakdown at the possibility of vomiting.

Being pregnant sure made the idea of vomiting a little easier to accept. The idea of being sick, and that sickness causing me to vomit is torture.

I don't know if this helps, but it's what I do...doesn't work all the time, but it's all I have for now...

I understand what you mean. I don't enjoy having blood drawn but I close my eyes and know it will be over shortly. I would much prefer to have blood drawn, but, that's life, right?

Thank you for sharing your story, I hope one day I can be as brave as you

[jennnh]

wow this was a fantastic story. you have given me hope. i am in a very serious relationship that i know is going to result in marriage... i am so excited to spend the rest of my life with this man and i want to have children with him but i thought i would never make it through pregnancy and than the 14-15 years you have of possibly catching a virus from the child.

your story has given me hope to move on in life and know it is possible to go on in a relationship even if it gets bad....

thank you.

[mhp8982]

I really appreciate your post! I am almost 25 weeks pregnant. I'm past the morning sickness.. and zofran was my best friend. But I am so anxious and panicy all the time about catching an SV while pregnant. It drives me and my husband crazy. He has 2 kids.. (my step kids) and I"m constantly worried they will bring something in again.. You do give me some hope! I want to be able to handle it when my baby is sick.. and not be worried about myself. I wish I wasn't so obsessed with it now. The stress has been so much worse since being pregnant...

Thank you for your post! And congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!