Broken Streak - Ever Stronger

[symphonicfaith]

Like so many others on this site, I was so proud of my streak.... 15 years. However, I am now proud to say that I am 27 years old, have recently faced my fear, and stood up a stronger man because of it. I do have to admit that my experience was perhaps softened a bit by my own negligence and stupidity. Here's a little of my history surrounding the event:

Through high school and early college, I was terrified of drinking alcohol or being around others who were drinking, out of fear that v* would be involved. Eventually I loosened up a bit and began to enjoy a few drinks here and there. I knew my limits, so I was always more worried about other people than myself. Through college and for several years after college, I enjoyed a casual drink and a very occasional party night with no incident (other than worrying myself to death over friends a couple of times who had passed their limit). But, the focus of my story is what happened on New Year's Eve a few weeks ago. I had a few drinks... then a few more... but really no more than I know I'm comfortable with. I believe the problem arose when I partook of a certain "medicinal" "cigarette". I had only partaken of that once or twice before, but only very lightly. This time I think I went a bit overboard... after all, I've always heard this "herb" is used to help with nausea! What could it hurt?! Well.... I almost immediately felt a rather unpleasant effect. My immediate thought was "uh oh...... well, I'm sure I'll be okay". But the only thing I could do was sit there. I wasn't nauseous per se... just very uneasy. So... I sat.... and interacted on occasion when people would talk to me. Eventually my partner drove me home. I was nervous during the entire car ride, but nothing happened. Then it came time to get out of the car. I stood up, then sat back down. My partner, who is a nurse and knows about my phobia, kept reassuring me and telling me that the "herb" is an anti-emetic. Sadly, it didn't work. I started with a couple of dry heaves, followed by the real deal. And you know what? I felt better afterward. Even during, it felt good to get it out of me. We finally went inside and I was a bit wary of laying down immediately, so I sat up for a while. My boo played me some relaxation soundwaves from his iPad, which were surprisingly relaxing. Unfortunately, once they were over, I felt amiss again. Yup... twice in one night after a 15-year streak. But again... it felt good to get it out of me.

Turns out, after I had told my brother about the incident, he said that the "herb" affects him the same way... especially if he mixes it with alcohol. Needless to say... I think I'll stick to my occasional drinks from now on :-)

In the following days, I found myself thinking about the incident quite frequently... almost obsessively at times. But, those thoughts are fading and I feel myself getting stronger because of it. As I said, I'm sure this event was softened because of my own negligence. Feeling nauseous from true illness is a whole different story, but the common theme from most posters on here, no matter what the situation, is that you feel better afterward. I'm sure I will still be cautious, and I hope to achieve a new streak that compares to my old one... but I feel that I will not be quite so caught up in it this time.

Stay strong everyone... I know you can do it!

[gerekayla]

Thats awesome! It sounds like an easier way to "ease" yourself into it rather than getting sick sick. Congrats and I hope I can be worry free like you eventually.

[hairyfairy]

That stuff has made me feel ill sometimes when I`ve taken it in the past, especially with alchohol, & it`s good to know that it takes other people the same way, as I thought that I was a freak for reacting differently to other people.

[Erica1649]

V*ing while intoxicated doesn't feel as scary than when you are fully alert thankfully. Ugh