Guilty

[swiftette]

I feel like a terrible mother[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]I love my two girls more than anything else in the world! I can handle just about anything. I'm their Brownie Troop leader, I'm on the PTA board, I take care of my elderly mom and my dad who has alzsheimers. But when they get a stomach virus, I can't bear to even be near them. My husband says he understands and that he'll be there for them, but then complains that he has to work and that it's my job as their mom to snap out of this and take care of them. So , I ask my mom to come over to help me(she lives next door) and then SHE starts in about how it's disgraceful that I act this way. I've been on this sinking ship more years than I care to even think about and every year it gets worse. I'm so tired, sometimes I think I can't bear another winter. I love my girls. I just wish I could be normal.

[madisonsmom]

[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]Are they sick now?


You sound like you are a wonderful mother. Dont get on yourself like this. I have 3 children. 14 yr son, 6 yr son, 1 yr daughter. I definitely relate to your feelings. I am the same way. I have been like this for about 5 yrs.


Do you have a fear of catching a stomach virus or do you not like to see them v*?


I can take care of them IF i knew for a fact I would not get it...but the chances of that are slim to none. I dont wanna take care of mine either. I dont have any help so I have to. I am so incredibly anxious the whole time and feel sick even before OR if I get it.


Keep us posted. If you want to talk let me know. I will give you my MSN address.Edited by: madisonsmom

[donna1216]

I know how you feel, too. I can handle anything except the v'ing. I told my girls' pediatrician that I can handle poop, pee, snot, fevers, blood, broken bones, but when they throw up, I freak out, and she said that it puts me up there in the strong category if I can handle everything else but throw up!! She's a dr. and said that her kids would always get tummy sick when her husband was gone and she would have to deal with it alone and even she would feel stressed out about it, so really, do not beat yourself up. She made me feel so much better about myself!!

[madisonsmom]

It is very stressful when kids are sick. They do it ANYWHERE![img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img][img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[faith-marilyn]

this thread makes me sad [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]
the only thing i can say is that NEVER think you are a bad mum - you a strugglin with one of the worlds worst phobias and are still managing to have children (despite morning sickness!!) in my opinion you are really up there with the worlds best mums!! u are challenged by a lot more, which a LOT of people couldn't handle the way the mums on here do. never forget that no matter how bad it gets with ur kids being sick - u always manage to pull through! at the end of the day u are ALWAYS there for your children - u are a lot stronger than you guys give yourself credit for and can cope with a lot more if you had to! instead of feeling like bad mums i think you should give yourselves a cheer because in my opinion, like i said, you are some of the best mums around!
[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[terified girl]

I agree with faith 100% because I too think you guys are wonderful.


I can't have kids because of exactly these problems, and you guys kid, and you should be cery proud of yourselves!


You are a great mother!

[sarahx]

It doesnt stop emets with kids feeling guilty and disappointed with themselves trust me. I am so petrified of my daughter being sick. I would gladly deal with anything but that. I just hate it, the thought of it happening sends me nto a panic even when shes well. And then theres the question of wether i or my bf will get it too. That doesnt make us bad mothers, i know, but sometimes other people around us dont realise how its like we dont have a choice when it comes to this phobia. Of course in an ideal world, we would sit and hold our children right through the whole thing, with no second thoughts. But we dont live in that world, and so we need help with that part. Like some parents cant deal with the sight of blood when their child hurts themselves. It is not our fault we feel this way, and its not like we dont try to fix it. I hope i never have to see my child sick, partly cos of emet but partly cos its awful for her too! Oh now ive just rambled on and on, i am not even sure it made sense! But my heart was in the right place!!!!


Sarah xxx

[swiftette]

Thank you all sooooooo much, I feel so lucky to have found people who understand just what I am going threw. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]My daughters are feeling fine, but it's only been 4 days counting today so my anxiety level is still about an 8. Plus I can't shake that feeling that my apartment is still contaminated and I'd like to stay in my room all day if I could. Thanks so much!!!

[madisonsmom]

Oh no...you poor thing!


What state are you from?


How many daughters do you have?


Sorry for the questions...just wanna get to know you![img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[luna33]

I just wanted to tell you I know exactly how you feel. I love my daughter more than anything in the world, and normally devour her with kisses and hugs and carry her around all day. She just had her first sv this past Tuesday, and I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her the whole time, taking care of her, being brave and [rest of sentence GRAPHIC] even telling her not to hold it in (she was really freaking out at one point because she had done it several times in a row, and held her head up and started choking), and holding her as she was sick repeatedly.


But as soon as she felt better and stopped being sick, I was consumed with panic and freaked out, Lysoling everything and keeping her asfaaaaar away from me as possible. I haven't kissed or hugged her since then (but I figure I will tomorrow, as I don't think she'll be contagious anymore).Worst of all, when she is speaking to me I'm trying to stay close to her, but I'm terrified of spit drops flying out of her mouth and find myself looking at her, listening, but turning my head or covering my mouth with my hand. I know I'm horrible and I feel awful about it. This is the most precious creature alive. I don't wantto give her my phobia, but I'm so terrified of getting it it consumes me.


Anyway, sorry to hijack your post.I just want you to know you're not alone, and I don't think either of us is a bad mother. This isn't our fault.

[swiftette]

Oh my God Luna, I do the same thing-worrying about them talking too close to me. And I too worry about inflicting my girls with this horrible phobia. You should be so proud that you were able to comfort her even as you were terrified. Maddison's mom, Hi I'm Donna and I'm from just outside of Boston. I should have introduced myself to begin with. My girls are 8 and 5-turning 6 next month. I'm the same way, Once my 8 yr old got car sick and I was fine. When it's an sv, you can't see the germs, so I clean and bleach and wash my hands with windex. And when it stricks, it's so sudden and severe, I'm even to scared to eat or sleep untill a couple of weeks go by. And my carpet-Oh God , I wish I could rip it up and put down tile so I can bleach it. It's been 6 days now since my 8 yr old woke up with it, and 10 days since my 5 yr old woke up with it. I'm starting to feel a little safer now but I do'nt want to let my guard down. Thanks everyone for listening. XXXOOOO

[ontariogirl]

I have found that once the kids become older it is easier to deal with them vomiting. I am always by there side, they hit the bucket and toilet. I feel like a drill sergeant, asking over and over again, how are you feeling? Do you feel sick? constantly asking until I hear them saying I feel better now. I only have the one son with me now but the questions after questions are still there and my cupboard is full of Lysol products! I become a nervous ninny and that won't go away!

[madisonsmom]

I am started to get a little nervous...it sounds like the stomach virus is circulating AGAIN! UGH


I have heard of SO many kids having it...online!

[swiftette]

I am from Mass.-just outside of Boston and yes, it is everywhere here. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img]I just wish it would end already, why are there so many more svs every year popping up literely?!