new and I feel like I am falling apart, please help.

[mfg]

This is taking over my entire life. I have panic attacks every day, I can't do anything. Everyone in my life thinks I'm crazy and is getting sick of my problem. I can tell that it frustrates all of those close to me and I feel embarrassed and guilty every day. I end up getting yelled at by them because of their frustration and I can't stop. Please help me I'm losing control over my life.

[Erica1649]

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through and welcome to the board.

Does anybody truely understand how you feel with this fear? If they don't understand you, then they should seriously get educated about it....its not a laughing matter.

Do you see a therapist? If not, ou should see somebody before things get ten times worse.

[mfg]

I've tried really hard to explain it to everyone, but everyone thinks that I just need to be rational about my fears and my panic attacks and it will all go away. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now but it hasn't helped me, she just gives me medication to take for the anxiety. I feel like such a burden on everyone in my life, and I feel like i've been losing who I am because of it. I can usually control it but it's getting so much harder and I can't help but feel guilty for the people in my life. Today I got really scared driving in the car and my boyfriend yelled at me so I got out and walked home and I called to apologize for being scared and he said he doesn't have patience for my problem and that it's silly. I just feel so guilty.
Thank you for responding I really needed it.

[artoo16]

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of support. What most people don't understand is that this is an emotional problem, it's not logical. I mean, I know that my fear is irrational, and I shouldn't be so concerned, but knowing that doesn't make the anxiety go away.

It's an anticipatory anxiety, it's involuntary, and there isn't much we can do about it. I'm grateful to have people in my life I can talk to about my fears when they get out of control. Maybe you need to find a new therapist if it isn't helping.

Welcome to this site, we will always be here to support you. Hang in there!

[BenBHartnett]

I've tried really hard to explain it to everyone, but everyone thinks that I just need to be rational about my fears and my panic attacks and it will all go away. I've been seeing a therapist for a while now but it hasn't helped me, she just gives me medication to take for the anxiety. I feel like such a burden on everyone in my life, and I feel like i've been losing who I am because of it. I can usually control it but it's getting so much harder and I can't help but feel guilty for the people in my life. Today I got really scared driving in the car and my boyfriend yelled at me so I got out and walked home and I called to apologize for being scared and he said he doesn't have patience for my problem and that it's silly. I just feel so guilty.
Thank you for responding I really needed it.

Honestly, the nerve of some people (not insulting your boyfriend). I just get so sick of how people don't take this fear seriously. I tell people about my fear of vomiting and sometimes they don't even have a response. It's a real fear and it affects people. Some people become suicidal over it. What does it take for people to realize that this is a fear that is very controlling? Though I have gotten my fear under a good amount of control it still affects me. I have gotten to the point where I get anxious if I feel nauseous rather than worrying all the time about getting sick. I am sorry that your boyfriend yelled at you. You don't need to feel guilty. You have a fear and it affects your life. Don't let anyone get to you. You are you.

[Angie78]

I know how you feel. My husband tries to help me by being supportive but there was a time when he wasn't...he didn't understand so I would always try to give examples and compare my fear to things so he would understand...he is still clueless but he does hug me and talk me through it thankfully. Also, I have had more than one boyfriend dump me because i'm crazy for obsessing about v* and being scared all the time. It hurt really bad...
I have given up so many opportunities in my life because of fear...I wish I could go back and do it all again...Sometimes I wonder where I would be today if I was not afraid....
I know for sure that my life would be dramatically different.
My fear has gotten better over the years...but it is still always in the back of my mind the a monster...as silly as that sounds.
There are people out there who will love you and take you just as you are...I have found them in my life and you will too. xx

[HannahYarb]

I will just start off by saying, some people have no idea what all we go through on a daily basis. Worrying if we wash our hands good enough, if food is cooked properly, or if we are around someone who is sick or has been sick. IT SUCKS. It controls my life everyday and I try my hardest to cover it up as much as I possibly can. None of my friends know I am emet. They only know I am terrified beyond belief of germs. I miss so much school and activities because I am afraid I will pick up the bug. My mom gets ill with me. I have the worst panic attacks and anxiety. The good news is, none of us are alone. You must look past the people who will down you and try to talk you out of your fears. Fear is a natural thing, although it can be consuming, like ours. It is natural for a human to have normal fears. It is also natural to be able to express the way those fears make you feel. You should never feel like you cannot express your feelings without making someone mad. AND NEVER FEEL GUILTY. Its not like we all woke up one morning and thought, "I feel like making myself an emetophobic & worry constantly about every little thing associated with v*" GET real. No one on this site done that. We cannot help it. HOWEVER, we can make it better and be cured. Anyways, you are who you are & you shouldn't feel the need to be any different. If you aren't accepted for who you are, then you don't need those people. Esp the ones who mean the most to you. Keep in mind you have a second family here. I always come here for help and inspiration. We can all get through this together!