About to cry too! Fed up!

[madisonsmom]

Just when I start to feel stronger I hear of all these people getting sick. I have heard of like 3 in the past 4 days that I know and everyday of people online. It is mainly kids. I know these go around all year and it really HAS gotten better but the news is like a magnet to me. UGH! I am really at the point where I am like "Whatever.....please just let me be sick and get it over with." Seriously. It is like I am anticipating this to happen. I am so tired of it. I just want to be normal. I am trying to put things in perspective but I cant. I am WAY stressed. My SUV is acting up and has problems and I have started a new job that I think I AM NOT GOING TO LIKE! I applied for a psychiatric nursing position and I hope they call. I cannot take care of sick people anymore. The nursing profession pays well but I am not up for the stress it brings and worried about getting sick on top of it. This phobia is terrible because you cannot control it. I wish I could just let it go and be done with it!


It doesnt help that I am WAY overtired with a headache. I am going to lay down[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] I am SO over this sh*t!


Thanks for lettimg me vent. You guys are the greatest!Edited by: madisonsmom

[mitch4133]

I hope you feel better! I know what you mean about the news. I just saw on the news that the Rotovirus is going around here in Detroit. I haven't heard of any major viruses until now, and it's spring and its supposed to be down with! When will it end??


But I hope you are feeling better, get some rest.

[swiftette]

I agree, I wish it would end already. Don't you just want to breath? I so much just want to breath again and not have to worry about any germs I might be breathing in. I want to smell the grass coming up from the soil and feel the sun on my face. I am tired of being cooped up-but when I go out, I come home and wash my hands a thousand times worrying about what I may have touched but can't see!I have this problem to that if I'm within an earshot of someone, whether it be in the schoolyard or at the checkout- I end up hearing about someone who has the virus or just had it over the weekend or something. And I get sooo anxious. It's like I have it always but yet I don't. Stress definatly adds to it, I give you so much credit for being a nurse, my God how do you do it? You are very brave. I'm in the Boston area so you do'nt need to worry about my entries. I hope all goes well with your car, car trouble can be a pain. And if the job you want does'nt call you, call them. Be persistant, it shows strong desire and charector. And try a nice hot cup of tea-thats my de-stressor, and mabey a xanax would'nt hurt either[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[ontariogirl]

I am on msn Debbie.

[shiva]

Madisonsmom. I am truely very sorry that you are going through all of this. I will keep my fingers crossed for you and the psychiatric nurse position. I know it sounds very cliche, but I have always loved the quote "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." I realize that I don't know you personally, but I trust that you have the strength within yourself to pull yourself out of this. I know that it is hard to hear these stories so often, but as you said yourself they are a daily fact of life. We like to think that these viruses go away when the weather is nice, but it doesn't work that way, and you and me and everyone else who this affects so badly just need to support eachother and decide that we are not going to let ourselves obsess anymore over things we CANNOT control.


Listen.. Think of how powerfull our brains are. Think of how we ALLOW our brains to create such daily hell for our existence. I know that if our minds are powerfull enough to put us through this that they are definitely powerfull enough to free us from it as well. I know that we can all do this. It will take blood, sweat, tears and maybe even some of that other yukkie stuff, but we CAN and WILL defeat this hell. Do not give up on you. You have more strength than you give yourself credit for. You are going to start therapy with (hopefully) somone who will be able to help you with your journey to a "normal" life. Just look forward and decide that you are not going to be defeated by this s***. You can do this and you will. Everytime we about hit rock bottom, I believe we gain some inner strength. I promise, you will be okay. I know it sucks. I know how out of control everything must feel for you right now, but just focus on the calm after the storm. It will come, I know this.. You are strong.

[donna1216]

I feel for you!! I know what you are going through. It will all be over soon!!! Nice weather=nice health!!!!!!


And I really hope you get the job you want. I admire you for having the courage to actually go to nursing school and then apply your knowledge!!![img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]Edited by: donna1216

[madisonsmom]

We have had rainy weather...but pretty decent. Its been in the 60's. Why cant some of this let up? Actually it has but I am still hearing about it.


I am a nurse, yes. BUT I HATE IT RIGHT NOW. I love helping people. I am around so much really bad stuff and what do I fear the most...a stomach virus. I take care of people who are HIV positive, who have hepatitis B & C, MRSA, VRE, C-Diff UGH and I worry about stupid stuff. HIV does not bother me AT ALL (the VRE does). These other things you can catch too but a stomach virus is SO SO very contagious. I would be so embarrassed for someone I work with to know that I have a fear of this. I just dont know how much longer I can do it. Nursing is SO very rewarding in more ways than one...really.


I know psychiatric patients get sick too but I have always had a yearning to do that. I hope they get up with me. It is also a state job so I could transfer through the system.


Shiva, when you said:


"Listen.. Think of how powerfull our brains are. Think of how we ALLOW our brains to create such daily hell for our existence. I know that if our minds are powerfull enough to put us through this that they are definitely powerfull enough to free us from it as well"


That is so very true. I am fed up but at the same time I think "If one of my kids get "it" I would be able to care for them. It is just the anticipation of wondering if and when I am going to get it. I am trying so hard to use positive self talk.


TRYING to *think positive thoughts*


I took a little one hour nap and feel a little better...I am getting ready to go to sleep for the night! This type of nursing is killing me! ugh ugh When I got home from work today I just looked at Madison and said "I want to be a stay at home mom"[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[madisonsmom]

Oh yea...


Why is the rotavirus going around? I have heard that. That stuff really sucks for kids. Is it normal to go around this time of year???

[ejb199]

hey - i hope you are feeling a bit better now. i totally understand the thoughts of being totally out of control with this damn emet. but youve really got to try SOOOOO hard to think rationally. Think of ALL the times this has happended in the past and how you DIDNT get sick!!! tell me how many times that was...?

come on - i know your stronger than this - dont let it gget you down.

last night i was at my body combat class - and just before i felt a bit 'yuck' - prob hunger. but i was thinking oh no - what if im sick all over the floor - and i was ready to turn around and go home. but i didnt - i got in there and every punch and kick i threw - i pictured the word EMET and my little EMET Monster - and how i was kickin him in the ground - i will picture yours next time!!

ems x

[stella9]

Rotavirus goes rampant in preschools in the winter and early
spring. It is usually accompanied by lots of diarrhea.
There can be v*** with it. The thing about rotavirus is that it
lasts for a long time. It can go on for a couple of weeks,
obviously subsiding as time marches on. Typically, it does
not strike after toddler years and if does, it is so much milder.



It is yucky all over.



Stella

[madisonsmom]

It sucks! I hate viruses!

[shiva]

Remember that movie, The Bubble Boy? There's an idea