I quit my job =(

[KimberlyP]

I'm so sad!! This stupid phobia has completely taken over my life!!! I havent worked in three and a half years because of this fear and I finally got enough courage and strength to get an amazing job working at a dentist office. I had fantastic pay, the co workers were amazing and I loved my boss. Everything was perfect and I was very good at it. Well after working there for about a month one of my coworkers came in and she looked tired and frustrated. I asked her if she was ok and she told me that her son had been v all night long and, not knowing I had this phobia, she told me what he had eaten prior to v and it was EXACTLY what I had eaten for breakfast, some luck right? She also explained how it all happened, like sounds and everything. I quit the next day. I had the worst panic attack of my life when I got home. I literally put a little bit of bleach in my bath water, thinking it would kill the norovirus, that is how scared I was. When I have a horrible panic attack I pinch myself and knock really hard on my hand and the next day I was covered in bruises because of how insane I was getting. My husband almost took me to the ER because it was so bad.

I've started seeing a phsycologist about it and he tried to prescribe me medication to help with my anxiety but I am too afriad of the side effects to take them, so he perscribed me Promethazine for nausea and to help me sleep but once again I am too afriad to take them. I hate this so bad!! I was telling him that I absolutely love my life but I HATE being me!

Sorry I had to rant.

[Sajinta]

I know exactally how you feel. I used to feel the same way about the meds but I now have the best therapists and have allowed myself to take the Ativan that they prescribe. Ativan is also an anti n* med. Instead of hitting yourself, use ice cubes.. It gives the same effect and is a "safe" way to self distract. I learned this in therapy.

[andee]

I know how you feel as well...I had to quit my medical job and the dream of being in the medical field only because of this phobia. It has cost me a lot. I have now been "reduced" to working in a candy store...and while this job is really very nice, with good hours, great manager, etc, I cannot help but feel soooo bad, weak, and angry at myself. But you need to say to yourself that yes, this is where I'm at, at the moment, and your mental health is more important. And please try the meds...I take ativan as well and it is wonderful...NO side effects except a nice calm feeling and maybe help sleeping. It will NOT make you sick---it is an anti-emetic too. I also take lexapro with no bad effects either. Wishing you the best in this difficult fight...hugs...

[bailey123]

may not have been your intention but your post made me feel a little better than i have in a while!!! i recently quit a job because someone working behind me was complaining of feeling s* Sounds ridiculous right? but i just had to get out of there, right there and then so left (to the dismay of husband/family!) i can completely relate to how youre feeling and can tell you that no good comes from looking back and punishing yourself for what you 'used' to be.

As for the meds, that was the bit that made me feel better. i tried the meds for 3 days and as soon as i felt s* that was it, end of story, the next lot they gave me i have not even tried. my gp tells me that its progress to even consider taking mediation, which i do everyday, but somehow always find a reasonable excuse (in my head) to start tomorrow!!

[KimberlyP]

Thank you all so much. Talking to people who know EXACTLY where I am at makes everything a little bit better. When taking the Ativan did it make you feel dizzy or loopy at all? I panic if I don't have complete and total control of my body at all times. I had two premature babies via c section because I developed pre eclampsia and I refused to take the pain medication because the very first time I had ever taken any kind of narcotic was with my first son. After the c section they gave me a giant lortab and I almost passed out because it made me so loopy, then they gave me some medication to make my blood pressure come down after he was born and I felt like I was running up a huge flight of stairs, like my heart was racing and i was sweating. After those two incidents I am TERRIFIED to take medication. Mostly because I don't want to v. but also because I hate losing control. I went through agonizing pain of recovering from the c sections with only ibprofen (sp?) to avoid being N or V-ing. It was awful but better than feel n or v-ing.

I don't know if anybody here has had pre eclampsia or been on magnesium sulfate but right before they started me on it the doctor said "this might make you feel really sick you may need to v" I started crying hysterically and refusing it. Since they can't give it to me without permission they had to stop. Then those sneaky little doctors and nurses used the only thing that would make me agree to it, they said "if you don't let us treat you with this you may have seizure and that can kill your baby" So I agreed. I didn't v by the way just felt like i had been hit by a truck.

That is how bad this phobia had ruled my life.

[Erica1649]

Kimberly, I'm sorry it came down to that. I am also glad you are going to see somebody about this because we can't just keep getting up from a job every time somebody says they are or feel sick. It is definitely not healthy for us.

I'm sure another job will come along that you will like just as much...its just too bad we can't be up front in our interviews about or phobia...especially in the medical/dental field. I'm sure something like that happens once in a rare occasion and because of this fear, we are almost paralyzed. Hang in there (((hugs)))

I took Ativan twice and I loved it...I kinda felt airy for a few minutes, but in a good way if that makes any sense.

[olschesky]

i'm so sorry you're going through this......ive had those bad times too. you really need to recondsider taking the meds. ive said it many times in this forum that prozac (i take generic now) has totally given me my life back.....i was a wreck when i started taking it....even opened the capsule up and dumped half out the first time i took it. i had no side effects other than some really strange dreams......and after about 10 days most of my obsessive thinking was gone.....i was amazed.....that was over 20 years ago....i still take it....never had to up the dosage.....still take one 20mg a day.....

please think about it......it will help you to push through this fear and get your life back. no, my emet isn't gone.....but my bad days are few and far between.....i own a business and work everyday....married, all that normal stuff

the promethezine (sp?) is really strong for me......if i do have to take one for n i always break them into 1/4 and just take that....takes about an hour to work....but totally puts me in a coma and pretty sleepy the next day.......so those are for my "emergency" only time.

i hope you find some relief........it is possible

[andee]

Hi Kimberly, No...the ativan just "takes the edge off" as they say. In fact, sometimes I split the low dose of .5 to .25. So you can really take only what you need and start really small. Good luck and please try it!

[KimberlyP]

Thanks everyone,
I did some research on Ativan and I can't bring myself to do it. I'm scared of becoming addicted to something and I read that Ativan is extremely hard to stop. That scares me. I will talk to my doctor about Prozac thank you Olschesky. Andee, you actually gave me hope! I never once thought of gradually taking medicine to get used to it. Man I am silly. I will research prozac and ask my doctor to start me out small. You see, this is why I just love this website!! People I know are like "just take the freakin pill" they don't understand the workings in my brain but everyone here does. I gain a lot of good insight and tips from this website so thank you all very much!

[jptk]

About 11 years ago I left school because of this phobia. I ended up going back for my final year but I was in and out of school so much that year I ended up failing. Had a pretty rough period for a few years after finishing. I rarely left the house, but, eventually, I got myself a job and over time it got easier and easier to go in everyday. You just gotta keep trying and pushing yourself and eventually things will get easier.

[bailey123]

Am on day 4 of taking my medians although I had a wobble today and am currently trying to think of reasons not to take it am doing my best to push on, it is definitely helping sleep, a bit too much at times! But all I keep telling myself is that life is miserable as I am and anything that can help make that a little better cannot be a bad thing. Go back to your doctor, be firm, there is a world of medicine out there that only they know about and no end of dosages and combinations that there has to be one that sits comfortable with you. You deserve the help and a happy life and to do it in a way that is comfortable for you, be strong x

[fixxxer2012]

In this economy i probably would not of just up and quit.

[DeadxxInside92]

I hope you don't take offense to this, but I think you would benefit from inpatient treatment at a psychiatric hospital. Putting bleach in bath water is just downright dangerous. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but you can't let this fear rule your life to that extent like this. I hope you get the help that you need.

[KimberlyP]

Fixxxer- Yeah I know it wasn't the best thing to do, I wish that I wasn't crippled with fear to the point I couldn't go.

Deadinside- Haha I don't put as much as I would in my laundry or anything. I read online that people do it for eczema (sp?) and to kill staph, so when I read that I thought well I bet that would kill any noro on my skin. So I started doing it. It probably does nothing for noro but that is how crazy I am.

[DeadxxInside92]

Still, I think you would benefit from an inpatient treatment facility.

[fixxxer2012]

Still, I think you would benefit from an inpatient treatment facility.

hate to say it but i agree with dead.

[DeadxxInside92]

^^^hahaha 'dead'

[jptk]

Inpatient treatment for a phobia.... really?

[DeadxxInside92]

Inpatient treatment for a phobia.... really?

If it rules your life to that extent, um...yes, without question. Many people talk of suicide here because they cannot handle vomiting. Some starve themselves and isolate themselves from society. You don't think any of that is grounds for hospitalization? You are sadly mistaken.

[jptk]

If it rules your life to that extent, um...yes, without question. Many people talk of suicide here because they cannot handle vomiting. Some starve themselves and isolate themselves from society. You don't think any of that is grounds for hospitalization? You are sadly mistaken.

I am well aware of how bad it can get, I myself barely eat, isolate myself and far worse. My point is, hospitalization will not fix the real problem.

[JadeNight]

My point is, hospitalization will not fix the real problem.

Really? Then what will? Hospitalization means getting 24/7 help. Doctors work with you to fix the REAL problem.If anything, this forum is an example as something that doesn't fix the "real problem"

I've done it.

[jptk]

Really? Then what will? Hospitalization means getting 24/7 help. Doctors work with you to fix the REAL problem.If anything, this forum is an example as something that doesn't fix the "real problem"

I've done it.

Outpatient CBT with a suitable therapist. Being hospitalized certainly does not mean 24/7 help. In fact, according to a well known hospital in the UK, the clinics do not even have nursing staff and they will not except suicidal patients because of this. You could get group therapy sessions with other patients who do not share the same problem. How is that helpful?

[lizzo]

I don't see how jumping down her throat and telling her she needs inpatient therapy is going to help either ...

[mhartse]

I know how you feel cause I quit my job that I enjoyed really well too cause of the phobia. One of my clients V* and i just freaked out and panicked. Im sorry you had an issue, and I hope you find something you like again!

[DeadxxInside92]

Really? Then what will? Hospitalization means getting 24/7 help. Doctors work with you to fix the REAL problem.If anything, this forum is an example as something that doesn't fix the "real problem"

I've done it.

I one hundred percent agree with this.

[DeadxxInside92]

I don't see how jumping down her throat and telling her she needs inpatient therapy is going to help either ...

No one is jumping down her throat but I think it's ludicrous that so many people dismiss the reality of their condition. I've been hospitalized and it DID help me. If I hadn't gone through it, I wouldn't be suggesting it to others here. It's not condemning anyone or saying anyone's crazy. That's not it at all. The point is inpatient therapy is a break from the real world and it's how you can kick start getting your life on track again. It's not a bad thing at all. That being said, it's not for everyone, but it can be a good solution. I don't think it's right to go and coddle everyone here-tough love is necessary. People need to understand this behavior is not okay, not singling anyone out.

[JadeNight]

Outpatient CBT with a suitable therapist. Being hospitalized certainly does not mean 24/7 help. In fact, according to a well known hospital in the UK, the clinics do not even have nursing staff and they will not except suicidal patients because of this. You could get group therapy sessions with other patients who do not share the same problem. How is that helpful?

You do your research and find a good hospital. I did mention that I've done it no? in the usa, you do get 24/7 help with plenty of staff. So how can you tell me that's not the case when it is?

[JadeNight]

No one is jumping down her throat but I think it's ludicrous that so many people dismiss the reality of their condition. I've been hospitalized and it DID help me. If I hadn't gone through it, I wouldn't be suggesting it to others here. It's not condemning anyone or saying anyone's crazy. That's not it at all. The point is inpatient therapy is a break from the real world and it's how you can kick start getting your life on track again. It's not a bad thing at all. That being said, it's not for everyone, but it can be a good solution. I don't think it's right to go and coddle everyone here-tough love is necessary. People need to understand this behavior is not okay, not singling anyone out.

Thank you! Took the words right out of my mouth.

[4077girl]

It depends on the hospital and it depends on what the person is trying to accomplish. She doesn't sound any worse than a lot of other people on here. Being aware that you acted impulsively out of fear ad regretting it is a big step in and of itself. That, along with continued therapy might be more than enough for someone to get back to work without wasting thousands of dollars.

[DeadxxInside92]

I don't think it is enough though. That's just my opinion, but I don't think quitting someone's job bc of a fear is excusable. That is just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt.