My Mother

[Kyass]

I need advice on my mother.

God love her, but I have no idea what to say to her anymore.

I have tried a million times to try and get her to understand where I'm coming from. We've had calm conversations, we've had screaming matches. I do not know what to do anymore.

She knows what's wrong with me. She's seen me have panic attacks. She's seen me avoid my sister and grandmother when they were dying because of this, yet she insists she needs to inform me of everyone in the house that has v* in the last 24 hours in my home, or say the word p* in front of me, or every other worst thing. I told her that in my opinion, ignorance is bliss. Even if you t*u* next to me, don't turn around and tell me what you just did. If you think I didn't hear you or you think I did hear you, regardless, DON'T COME IN MY ROOM AND INFORM ME OF EVERY MINUTE DETAIL. My room is next to the bathroom, so if I can convince myself that nothing happened, then good for me but don't confirm my worst nightmare is taking place in the room directly next door to mine.

Either she doesn't care, or she does but she does doesn't care about helping me deal with this.

How do I convince her that when she thinks she's helping, she's hurting? I'd rather be left alone. I don't need details. Details are my worst enemy.

[bailey123]

Wow, have the same problem! I think my mum thinks that exposure will 'fix' me and cannot understand why I just can't stop thinking the way I do. It was hard to accept for both of us when I first started therapy, me because she had always been someone I could turn to before and her because as I was her daughter she should me 'fixing' me, not some stranger. The only thing that has had any impact (and this doesn't work all the time) it to just keep telling her (and the rest of my family) I'm sorry but you can't talk to me about this kind of stuff, it makes me ill. Had a big row with my dad yesterday about the same thing! Sorry to hear you don't feel you're being supported, hope you do have someone to talk to, there are plenty of us on here who understand if not!

[thelittlestranger]

I'm sorry to hear you're not getting on well with your mother. It's horrible when someone you love so much doesn't understand.

Are you currently undergoing any therapy or counselling? Both of these things may help your emet and if you find the right person to help you, they're normally really good at giving advice with regards to family members. My mum had a very hard time understanding what was going on when I got diagnosed with depression at 14/15 and was put on medication, but it turns out she just really didn't know how to cope and how to help. xx