Emet is running my life! Please someone help!

[JellyBn83]

Ok, I don't know what to do anymore. I used to be able to "deal" with my emet for a long time. I would have my little freak outs, but NOTHING like this. I wash my hands all the time, wash my desk at work all the time and still freak out whenever I hear anything about the noro! I getting mad at myself. I should not let this freak me out so much! It has gotten to the point where I freaked myself out so bad, I stayed home on Friday. Today, I come into work and my boss told me that I hope that I feel better because people are starting to notice that I have been out a lot lately. Well, most of it has been me doing it to myself (freaking out about not wanting to v* so I don't eat-I don't eat, so I become n*/light headed/dizzy). I want to have kids, but I am really ready to say I can't do it and go back on my anti-depressants. I can't keep doing this to myself. And now it is affecting my work life, let alone my home life! I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow...hoping that will help some, but I don't know what to do any more. I try to keep myself busy and not think/listen about this nasty bug going around. I try to think positive and say that we are at the peak so it can only go down from here. I try to remember how people tell me they had an issue with v* and had kids and it "goes away" or they learned to deal with it. But I am so scared to say ok, I can do it, have a child, they v* for the first time and then loose it. I can't give it back! My husband knows how I feel, my parents know how I feel, but I can't listen any more to "Well, tell yourself you are going to fine and then drop it". There is no "dropping it" in this girls mind! I am 28, I shouldn't be freaking out. I have lost interest in going anywhere, eating out, doing anything but stay at home and sleep. I want to get over this, but I am so afraid that the "therapy" is going to be looking and hearing someone v*. Nope, can't do it!

What do you folks do to that have found ways to live with this? Have anyone tried the "Overcoming your fear of v*" that I see in the upper corner of my screen every time I sign onto this page? Please, help me!

[JellyBn83]

Anyone have any ideas?

[llucido83]

I am in the same boat if it makes you feel better. Not a clue what to do!

[JellyBn83]

I am glad that I am not alone, but it still worries me to h e double hockey sticks! I hate it when I get into these funks. And man, have I gotten into one of these funks! I know that my big problem is right now is not eating and I am hungry...but when I start to eat, my fear kicks in and bam! Sick to my tummy! I came to work today with light headiness and dizzy and weak...I know this is all from not eating and probably not drinking enough water/fluids. ARRG! I started to drink and started to feel less light headed and dizzy. I ate two granola bars and half a serving of Shepard's pie and it is all staying down, but I am still so nervous!

[mommyto3]

first of all...i have been where you are, and im going to be totally honest. i did it with a child, and i wish i hadnt. having a baby will not make it go away, it will probably make it worse. and if you need your pills to be a happier you, then do it. now im not miss all fixed or whatever but ive come quite far since my "dark time" as i refer to it as. that was about 5 years ago..i still have my fear but i keep in into perspective with what im doing as far as preventative measures are concerned. when i was at my worst i was about 100lbs..very thin for my frame. i never left my house...my daughter and i literally did not go anywhere but our yard to play for about 13 months. since then ive come to a point where i have my intense fear and phobia, but i only allow myself to panic if my fear gets in arms length. so here is a bit of my story of how i got there to right here..which is 1:40am my time, sitting on my couch with my amazing boyfriend/father of my 2 small babies/stepdaddy to my oldest baby, trying to sneak eating cheez its while he sleeps so he doesnt catch me cheating on weight watchers cuz i have 60lbs to lose from gaining so much with my pregnancies. i am sitting up with him because he got a bite a work today and had a bad reaction to it, had to go to urgent care, is on antibiotics cuz his lymp nodes are so enlarged and he is having trouble swallowing. an hour before bed they swelled up horribly, so i had him take another pill and told him id watch him sleep till 2-3am to make sure it went down. a side effect of his pills is n and v and d...so i KNOW that if he gets them, its from his pills..and dont let myself think otherwise. first, start with a weekly cleaning plan...make it on a chart and stick to it. make an emergency cleaning plan..only use it with illnesses in the house. secondly, this worked great for me, see the world as 2 separate units..outside my home, and inside my home. allow your home to be your place of peace. every time you come into your home, wash your hands..right there makes it so you are not bringing anything into your home. you need a safe place to nurture yourself..your home. next, and this one was hard but really works. realize that unless there is noro directly contacted with you...either in your home with your family members or your car, or work...there is no risk of you suddenly getting it. most noro is transferred person to person. so if you know anyone that has had it..stay away. and you are fine. to think of all the what ifs will drive you mad. there is no such thing as a carrier of noro..so dont allow yourself to think that if someone lived with someone that had noro 3 weeks ago they could carry it to me..no. either they have it or they cant give it to you. there are so many people who care so much less than us if they v, and they dont. its basic common sense, or at least what used to be. stay away from sick people. no, your kids dont need play dates with other kids that were just sick, no, you dont need to do lunch with friends that were just sick. you make up your own rules for life. do what makes you happy and feel strong. this fear fights us, and we need to fight our fear. let the handwashing fight it, let our knowledge of the transmission of noro fight it. your enemy can still be v, and you can still be a totally happy, functioning person, but what we should not allow anymore is the irrational fear. yes, i hate v, hate it hate it hate it. prob always will. and i will do so much in my power to avoid it. but i will not allow myself to be afraid for no reason. if it comes into my home..i freak yes, but i have plans to follow through with so i can stay busy. i will freak but i have things to do to stay occupied. so..that is my very lengthy 2 cents. i hope it helps you find some peace in this madness

[JellyBn83]

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! Any information helps! I am very good at telling myself "you are ok, you have washed your hands, you have cleaned your desk, the woman who had it hasn't been near you for a while" but my problem is? NOT listening to it! I sprayed my phone with Lysol and wipped it down today, I hit the edge of it on my lip and not even thinking about it, I licked my lips! Having a small freak out right now. I used to be able to distract myself with things and such, but that isn't working this time around. I just wish I knew what made it so hard this year around.

When you freak out? How do you make it through? What do you do? Do you take deep breaths? I think my issues seem to be not so much me actually getting sick, but the before part. For other people, it is seeing it happen. That is why having kids make me very nervous!!!

[JellyBn83]

I meant to add that I hope your other half is ok with bot the bite and the side effects of the meds!!!