You might be an Emet if.....

[carmagnet]

A recent topic made my gears start moving and I thought up a funny joke..... PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD MORE AS THEY COME TO YOU!! Kind of a Jeff foxworthy redneck thing....just to kinda poke fun at ourselves.


If you have dived over your eighty year old grandmother just because somebody has the hiccups.... you might me an emet


If you've knocked over a group of nuns at choir practice because the person singing next to you had a pale complexion that day, you might me an emet.


If you've ever BOLTED from a bathroom with out pulling up your pants because somebody coughed you might be an emet.


If you've ever freaked out when someone asked you how you were doing that day you might be an emet.


If you've got more bleach stains on your hands than Michael Jackson you might me an emet.


C'mon guys, let's keep them coming.Edited by: hippychick

[holly18]

you might be emet if:


You can use a public restroom and manage not to touch any surface with your bare hands.


You can get through a whole bottle of purell in a week.

[sunshine16]

You might be an emet if You manage to hold your breathe while running down the hall from someone who was sick last month.



You might be an emet if your hands are drier than lips should be from windburn.



You might be an emet if you hang up on your best friend who just told you she'd been sick.



You might be an emet if you visit the laundry mat more than the people who work there.

[fendergirl2020]

You might be an emet if you cover your ears and start singing in the car if the person next to you sneezes


You might be an emet if you worry about the smell of your farts


You might be an emet if you start crying because your stomach rumbles


You might be an emet if you think "I cant wear that top or I'll be sick!"





Actually this all sounds alot like me! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[aguerra29]

If you ask your boss why "so and so" called in sick today you might e an emet.

If you have ever called a coworker at home to see what was wrong with htem, you may be an emet.

If you have refused to lick your lips for fear of germs, you might be an emet.

If you ever didn't talk to your friend because threw up yesterday, you might be an emet.

If you ever cried because a SV was going around, you might be an emet.

If you have not eaten mints in 26 years because you think they made you sick, you may be an emet.

[madisonsmom]

You might be an emet if you hang up on your best friend who just told you she'd been sick.

[img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

[matmysunshine]

This is cute, and really it does make me laugh... and to think we do it all I needed the laugh, thanks to who started this

[carmagnet]

If you've ever gone to the Grocery store just to use the bathroom because some had been sick in yours a week ago.

[aguerra29]

If you quit gymnastics because someone v* while you were on the balance beam.....you might be an emet.

If you stopped being friends with someone because she v* in your backyard.....,you might be an emet.

If hearing about a SV going around in another country makes you feel queasy.....you might be an emet.

If the word Norwalk makes you cringe.... you might be an emet.



I'm on a roll.This is fun

[madisonsmom]

If you hear of someone having a stomach virus, you stay in your house for a week, you might be an emet...


If you know a stomach virus is going around and wont use any bathroom except for your own, you might be an emet.


If you burn your food to ensure it is done, you might be an emet.


If you dig through the meat case or milk case at the grocery store looking for the latest sell by date, you might be an emet.[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

[madisonsmom]

You have an art of not touching any doorknobs in public places...you might be an emet


You have excellent balance while flushing a toilet with your foot...you might be an emet.


You have the same handwashing ritual every time you wash your hands...you might be an emet.


If you accidently touch something after you have just washed your hands (like the paper towel holder, you wash them all over again...you might be an emet.


I am definitely OCD!!


This is fun...I am sure I will think of more.Edited by: madisonsmom

[Jenneh]

you might be an emet if:


you walk down the pavement andwonder how many times that spot has been v*ed on.

[kate1966]

You might be an emet if:::::::: you wash clothes and run the dishwasher every single night just so you have some noise going all night to prevent you from hearing the first sounds of someone getting sick in your house!!!![img]smileys/smilies_10.gif[/img]

[aguerra29]

If you won't eat food someone else fixed...you might be an emet.

If you wish you could live in a bubble .... you might be an emet

If you know that date and time of the last time you v* you might be an emet.

If you know that date and time of the last time your husband V* you might be an emet

If you vividly remember anytime anyone ever v* in your presence you might be an emet.

If you refuse to eat at a picnic you might be an emet.

If you ever thought because you didn't wash yourself in a particular order that you may v*..you may be an emet.


I just can't stop hehehehehe

[Jenneh]

you might be an emet if:


you wonder why people are telling you it's irrational to say u'd rather die than v*

[steph77]

you might be an emet if...


you still avoid the kids who used to v* all the time in elementary school and it's coming up on your 10 year reunion


you can't leave the house without purell and anti-emetics


you go to the bar (for the risky emets) and check out people NOT to see if they're attractive, but to see how close to v*ing they are


your toilet isso clean you can eat out of it


you've ever consider 'breathatarianism'....

[roxxi277]

This was a great idea, Im laughing at all the things I actually do!



If you carry Pepto insted of lipstick in your purse, you might be an emet.



If you go through a can of lysol a week, you might be an emet.



If you pace and pant like a dog when you feel sick, you might be an emet.



If you wake up with a runny nose, and call out of work, you might be an emet.



[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Carrie

[madisonsmom]

you might be an emet if...


you still avoid the kids who used to v* all the time in elementary school and it's coming up on your 10 year reunion

Now that is FUNNY![img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]

[carmagnet]

I love the one about eating out of the toilet....that's pure comedy there....


If you've ever considered boiling your hands because you ran out of purell (you know who you are) you might be an e-met.


If you've ever hid from your mother for a week and a half because she had a headache you might be an e-met.


If you've ever caused a car accident because you thought you saw a puddle of V in the road you might be an e-met.

[kentuckygalrk]

If you accidently touch something after you have just washed your hands (like the paper towel holder, you wash them all over again...you might be an emet.

Haha! That is SOOOO true!! I hate it even more when someone gets done washing before I do and takes MY paper towel that I pre rolled just so I don't have to touch the dispenser! Then I have to re-pre-roll and start the whole washing process AGAIN!


Ugh!
These are great y'all!I needed the laughs :O)


~Rachel

[mitch04133]

This is great, I do all of these things!! Gosh, if someone else read this (non-emet) they would think we are all crazy! Roxxi, I had to laugh, you carry Pepto, I do that, I have rolaids and pepto in my car at all times, and I pace when I feel sick. This is so funny, keep them coming! I love it! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


You might be an emet when you are walking down the street, and see a dry puddle and do all you can to avoid it cause it might of been v*.


You might be an emet if you hear someone burb, and have to run the other way cause they might v*.


You might be an emet if your diet consists of crackers, bread and water.


You might be an emet if you refuse to eat something with an expiration date of May 1st, and its only April 1st.


You might be an emet if you refuse to turn off the sink (at home) after you wash your hands cause they were dirty before you washed them.


You might be an emet if you insist on putting bleach on your clothes EVERY time you washed them. (Thank god for color safe bleach)


You might be an emet if you always carry a large purse containing, mints, crackers, water and anti-nausea drugs "just in case".


You might be an emet if you must disinfect everything with Lysol after company leaves.

[mitch04133]

You might be an emet if your dog or cat licks you and you must immediately go disinfect.


You might be an emet if you give someone a kiss, (even on the cheek), and you go to the bathroom to go scrub your lips.


You might be an emet if you use the "inside" of your shirt to wipe of your mouth, cause who knows what germs clinged to the outside.


You might be an emet if you when you eat food with your fingers, you refuse to put the part that you touched in your mouth.


You might be an emet if you have down the exact science of getting a piece of gum or a mint in your mouth with out ever even touching it.

[confused]

Great Idea!These are so funny!! Here's a few I came up with


You might be an emet if:


You keep mints hidden all over the place (car, purse, pocket, coat pocket, beside bed, living room, kitchen, etc) so one is never far from reach.


You know the tv programs that come on in the wee hours of the morning from staying up so you don't wake up sick


You constantly worry if your coworker who has a sprained ankle, earache, sore throat, or paper cut will be ill.


You are willing to walk 5 miles out of your way to avoid a possible puddle from a week ago.


Before you can go anywhere you must analize the potential that you might see someone get sick.


Walking past the stomach medicine isle makes you cringe.


You've ever asked your husband 100 times if he is feeling ok (even though he swears he is) just because he's burping more than normal

[steph77]

lmfao everyone these are great!!!


if going to the amusement park is more like a trip to hell. yeah...rollercoasters....fun[img]smileys/smilies_25.gif[/img]


if your shower routine is wash rinse repeat, wash rinse repeat, for not only your hair


i'm in a hurry for work....i'll have more later...this is tre funny

[flying finn]

This is cool...[img]smileys/smilies_32.gif[/img]



You might be an Emet if:</span>

- You walk on the street and hit to the people because you keep your eyes tightly on the ground.

- ...and when you hit to someone on the street you get worried if he/she had SV.

- You eat white peppercorns more than food.

- You are more interested in the SV-situation than the weathercast.

- You get mad if someone says that you look a bit tired.

- You bolt out off the bus if someone coughs.

- You get worried if someone wants to have a nap or falls asleep "too" early.

- You refuse to kiss your boy/girlfriend if he/she wouldn't finish his/her dinner.

- You think that you don't need a boy/girlfriend at all.

- When you see a kid you don't think "How cute" but "Ugh, I can SEE the germs."

- When someone has been sick you'll do everything to avoid him/her.

- or</span> you want to hear every dirty detail when someone has been sick.


Edited by: flying finn

[steph77]

oooo.....just thought of a good one:


you might be an emet if there are only two seasons: here we go again and summer

[madisonsmom]

I thought of one while I was leaving the ER last night.


You might be an emet if you are scoping out the carpet in the nurses triage room for v* stains!

[snowangel]

You are an emet if you:

-interrogate those who vomit
-interrogate nurses "how do you do this job"

AND you know you are an emet if:
- you know and analyze every stomach pain, lurch or bubble and can decipher why each is occuring !!!!

[blood_tears]

lol, these are too funny.


you might be an emet if:


you wont eat fig newtons because once they might have made you n* when you were 4 but cant remember if that actually happened or not...


but you are an emet if (just for a spin on the game)


you actually remember ever food you ever ate that made you n* from the time you were 2 on (and will never eat those foods again)

[charzysbebe]

If your heart races at normal household sounds (like crumbling plastic bags, etc...thinking it is someone getting sick) you might be an emet!


If you keep your butt ho** puckered (HEHE) on the toilet so the potty infested water doesn't splash "up there" and cause some strange bacteria growth, (or some virus to enter) you might be an emet. LOL! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]


Gosh, you guys have covered alot of them!! LOL!!! Too funny...they are all so true!! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] Charlotte