im about to have a mental break down.... i need support now.

[jennnh]

i went to a party last night....the one time i deciede to not let emet beat me....

i get there, brought my own drink from home that i mixed. i was touching the counter etc and we went upstairs are were playing a drinking game.
i had to pee so i went the bathroom and peed. i flushed and washed my hands turned the sink off. i normally always use paper towel or toilet paper to turn sink off and open the door. i only used it to open the door.. ugh i didnt put my hands in my mouth that i know of or ate anything there...

well heres the bad news... a kid was REALLY drunk and was v* and i was like omg guys im soooo scared of v*. and the owner of the place goes.. oh me too i had the stomach bug on monday........................... FUCK MY FREAKING LIFE. I FELT INSTANT DOOM AND ALMOST CRIED. I LEFT IMMEDIATLY. GOT HOME, TOOK ALL MY CLOTHES OFF AND SHOWERED. LIKE SCRUBBED MY FACE AND HANDS WITH MY MOUTH CLAMPED SHUT. I USED MOUTH WASH RIGHT AFTER THAT AND JUST WANTED TO KILL MYSELF. (i wont i just feel hopeless)

now im freaking out, the virus lives on surfaces for 2 weeks. i touched things and now i feel i am goin to get it.
everytime i go on facebook someone is ill with this bug. ITS EVERYWHERE. how in the hell am i going to avoid this guys. i went out and went into a home someone was v* in 4 days earlier............

ugh.

[jennnh]

just started crying so hard i fell to the ground....

[kam00096]

Hey. Sorry you're feeling so scared. It will be ok. Remember they probably washed their hands and if you washed yours and didn't put anything in your mouth you will be fine. Also, it can live on surfaces for 2 weeks but it doesn't mean it always does. Can you do something to take your mind off it? Is there anybody with you? xx

[jennnh]

my boyfriend is here rubbing my feet and i just got done crying in his arms for a good 10 min

i just feel its going to happen any minute

[kam00096]

Glad you've got your bf with you. Make the most of the foot rub! Honestly it's probably anxiety that's making you feel bad now. Happens to me all the time and it's so hard to convince yourself it's ok. Really do think you'll be fine though xx

[jennnh]

im sooooo nervous ugh. how could this girl get sick and than invite people over into her house 3 days later......???

[kam00096]

I guess people feel better and just don't think that they might be contagious. I try to think about all the times I might possibly have been exposed and haven't caught anything when I'm stressing out. It seems like it's everywhere but when you think about it it's rare for people to get these things especially us emets who are cautious about hygiene xx

[jennnh]

yeah. im trying soooo hard to be rational. but my head hurts, and im hot and dizzy. im scared this is it...................

[stopthissong]

I'm so sorry your feeling hopeless right now. I just want you to know your not the only one. For us emets, this is a really normal occurrence that completely sucks! But the thing is, about every time we get like this, it is always anxiety that makes us feel horrible, as oppose to germs. So the first thing you should try to do is lessen your anxiety. Try to listen to some calming music, light some candles and burn some incense if you have any. There are plenty of calming music tracks on youtube. Its good your BF is with you. Maybe ask him to just hold you and help you calm down or even fall asleep. If you feel up to it, you could have a calming tea like chamomile but I realise you probably don't want to. I have a lavender bag I like to smell when I'm scared or trying to sleep while I'm anxious. It triggers calmness in your brain. Just remember how many times you've been like this before and it's been fine. You didn't put anything in for mouth and people aren't contagious after a few days. It's unlikely that whatever you touched hadn't been cleaned either. The counter of the bar would have been wiped MANY times before you got there. Don't let emetophobia beat you. Your a strong human being and you can make the choice to not let it be so bad in your head.
I wish you much luck in calming down and staying strong and I am sure everything will be fine. Try to smile. All the best x

[jennnh]

@ stopthissong... thank you so much for this response. it helped me a lot. i like the candles and music idea. sounds great ill try that tonight!!!

i spoke with my soon to be mother inlaw for like a half hour not too long ago and she made all my anxiety just float away. my stomach ache went away and i felt better.
she was so positive with me and kept telling me ill be fine, i wash my hands well and didnt touch my mouth etc.... now i just have a have a headache i started getting at like 5. i had been crying a lot today, and it went away and i cried when i got off the phone from relief. and now its back...

trying to keep saying im okay.....

[heydani]

Just please calm down. You will only make it worse by freaking out ! It was just a sink ! You will be fine, do not trick yourself into being sick !