sick of being sick

[jbsmom]

I am so tired of this dang phobia, it is running my life. V is all I think about. My particular problem is not someone else Ving or seeing V. Its of me ving. I am so afraid to do it that i panic constantly. I am beginning to fear even being out in public. I take everything as a sign. If my aunt's friend in Ohio mentions that her kid has a sv i take it as another sign that its going around. I live in GEORGIA for petes sake! I even took it as a sign when i saw that the prefecture in Japan that my cousin lives in had to close schools because of noro. That must mean its heading my way cause its so close ya know! I am a joke. I went shopping with some friends today, wasnt feeling great but attributed it to allergies since the pollen is flying here. I ate a fairly big dinner at a really popular resturant around 5pm then shopped til 9. On the way home I started to feel nauseated. I get car sick, no big deal, it will go away after 30 mins of being at home. Yeah right! It didnt go away. It actually got a little worse. I tried to go potty but to no avail, thats part of my nausea problem, i have IBS. So i got in my hot tub cause that usually makes me feel better. It did for just a little while, after the zofran of course, which i do not like taking unless I am feeling really bad cause i dont wanna waste it. I stayed in as long as i could and now its 3am and i cant sleep for fear that i might get sick. I am beginning to panic. Could I have caught the bug that is actually going around down here? Is there one going around down here? I think there is cause a friend of mine on FB said her son has it and she is a teacher and i think she said its going around. Or could it be that i have to go to the bathroom and cant. Does that mean i am getting backed up? I feel the need to go but cant.
What is the cure for this phobia? and why is it that everything i read about a cure costs money. I dont have the money to spend on this. I have 3 kids, a mortgage, and 2 car payments. My husband is in the military so we all know thats not the best salary out there. How the heck am i gonna get over this irrational fear if i cant afford the treatment? Any ideas on how to self cure???

[JellyBn83]

I am sorry that you are going through this right now. First off, know that you are not alone! There are so many people who deal with this and you came to the right place.
First off, as for the feel that you need to go and can not, you could be dealing with a case of constipation. That sometimes will upset your stomach. I know mine does. And being an emet on top of that, we pay attention to EVERY little movement of our stomachs which just makes it worse!
Second, if you are still feeling n* after taking Zofran, then ten to one, this is anxiety causing this. Try taking deep breaths through the nose, hold, let out throug the nose, hold. This is good breathing to slow things down inside and it does work. Do it for at least 3 minutes.
Third, have you thought about going onto some sort of medication? I am on Lexapro and it works well for me. I got some sort of sv* in 2009 and it sent my emet in high gear. It was awful! I didn't eat and lost 30 pounds. But once it got into my system, I was my "normal" self again. I had to go off it for a bit (thought I had to be off of it to become pregnant but turns out I don't) and my emet came back worse then ever. Well, I just started it again and I am finding myself with the help of my therapist and meds, I am starting to be able to walk myself down off of my "freak outs". Yes, i am still getting them and sometimes it is hard, but that is when this site is awesome because ten to one, someone has been through what i am going through.
Last questions, have you thought of seeing a therapist?

Try some tea. That helps with my stomach and helps wonders with being constipated (I get this a lot). Good luck!

[jbsmom]

Thanks for responding. I do know that I am suffering from constipation, its a part of my IBS. I will stay constipate for like 2 weeks then have a bad session of D and then its over and I am backed up for another 2 weeks. It just seems like the D isnt coming this time.
I am not sure about meds. I have never taken anything for this before. I want to be cured of this stupid phobia. I dont want to be afraid to V anymore. I want to be just like everyone else. If it happens it happends and i can move on. But I CANT!
Tonight I am starting to freak out cause just now my stomach started making funny noises, its almost 4 am. I should be sleeping but i cant cause i am freaking out!
This is a stupid question i know but someone once told me that if yo9u can pass gas you are ok, is that true?

[JellyBn83]

My mom always told me that if your stomach is gurgling down below, that means gas and that is a good sign. I go by that, whether it is true or not, I feel better knowing that. Have you tried Miralax? I have constipatioin IBS bad too. I used to have d* with it, but for the last few years, it has changed. I LOVE Miralax. It is not like other pills and such as it is powder and you can mix it in any type of liquid hot or cold. It does NOT cause cramping and helps with going. It doesn't hit you fast and make you feel like you have to run to the bathroom!

I would recommend talking to someone and asking about meds. It is a great tool.

I don't want to be afraid either. I have my issues when I see someone v* or the getting to part when I have v*. I am working with my therapist CBT and it seems to be starting to help.

[kam00096]

Hey sorry your feeling bad. Constipation always makes me feel n* so I would say that's the problem. I find if I don't have anything to take for it that just drinking hot boiled water can get get things moving! I agree with JellyBn about looking into meds. I know it can be scary to start taking something new but it can help sooo much. I just recently started taking celexa (citalopram) and had no stomach related side effects at all. And I am starting to feel better (though I do still have flake outs they don't seem to be as bad as they were). Hope you feel better soon

[JellyBn83]

Hey Kam! Lexapro is the "cousin" drug to Celexa! I am in the same boat where I am still having my flake outs but some of them I can talk myself down from which is SOOOO much better than I was!!!!

[kam00096]

Yeah I still get disappointed and freaked out when I do get nausea but it's so much less frequent and less of a total flake out so I guess I'm going in the right direction. It's like I can be more rational about it than I used to be.

[JellyBn83]

Ya, I think that is a big thing with me...I get MAD at myself for letting myself get like that. But I am working (with the help of meds and therapist) on telling myself "I am going to be ok" and go with the flow. With this attitude today, I am having a great night!!!

[kam00096]

Good for you! Glad to hear your having a good night

[jbsmom]

SO i spent all night last night awake and I can tell today that it is definately the constipation. I dont feel like i can put anything else in my body until something comes out. I actually did buy the miralx like 2 weeks ago but i havent taken it yet for fear that it might cause D and cramping. Now that you have informed me that it doesnt i might take some this weekend. I have a ghost hunt with the girls from the Ghost Hunters show on Saturday night though so should i wait until after that? I dont want to be needing to go potty in the middle of it...the tickets were expensive! lol.
I have asked my doc several times for a referral to a therapist but he kept telling me it was just because my husband was deployed and that i would get over it. I couldnt tell him anymore that this has been going on since i was a kid. He has now retired so i am going to ask the new doc that took his place if she will hook me up with that referral.

[JellyBn83]

First off, it can take 3 days (depending on how bad you are) for a movement to happen. And I have never had a time where I was taking it and all of a sudden I had to RUN for the bathroom. I would start taking it. I mixed it with either tea or apple juice. Hot liquids are better with constipation anyways. I know the last time I was constipated, and I went a full week without one (and I normally go every day) and it took me about two and half days to get something. KEEP MOVING! A big problem I am having now is I used to always be on my feet moving around all day at work and now I am sitting at a desk all day. So I need to get up and move more as I am getting constipated again.

Off the subject, you get to go ghost hunting???? That is stinking awesome!!!!! I LOVE that show!!!!! Where are you going? Who do you get to work with?