The panic attacks that i get are what makes me suffer! once my n* hits i freak out and instantly my hands turn numb, my face turns pale, and i start crying! The last time i v* was ten years ago, and i pray to god that it will not happen again!! But i was thinking to myself, if it ever just came out without me feeling sick first i wouldnt hate it so much? Gosh i hate the feeling so much! I dont think i would mind v* if it was just liquids in my system, but i always feel n* at the time where my stomach has been already stuffed with food, so just the though of that food coming out makes me want to die!!!
Seriously, i think if the process of v* was silent, and didnt have such an odor then i wouldnt have a problem with it ughhhhh! I hate being like this!!
why cant i just be normal!!