my worst fear

[sheri-baby]

My worst fear is my kids vomiting. I am constantly thinking about it. They are 5 and 7. I.m obsessed with it, its all I think about. Does anyone else do this?

[skinnyme]

Hi there!! No, you are not alone... I have 3 kids, ages 1yr, 3yr, and 10 yr. I think about it all the time too.

[swiftette]

Yes, my girls are 5 and 8 and I am CONSTATLY telling them to make sure they've washed their hands after bathroom and school. I always make sure they don't share drinks and utencils. I also find myself being very fearful of their school which is hard because I'm their Girls Scout leader and I frequently help out at school. The flu season is a very anxious time for me. I also have'nt had a play date since school began which I feel really guilty about, but sooo many times I've had kids over & they'd be out the next day or few days after with sv* and THEN I get totally freaked out!

[stella9]

Welcome to my world. I have kids the exact age as yours. My
daughter is 7 and my son is 5. This year has been incredibly
challenging for me because since October of 2004, the stomach
virus has been pervasive throughout our city. It just has not let
up much. Just for a quick nanosecond when I though things had
quieted down, I would hear another horror story of several people being
sick. For the first time in my childrens' school's history (and
that is 25 years), there was a horrible stomach virust outbreak two
days before winter break this school year. On a Monday, there
were 10 kids absent out of 344. The next day 120 were absent and
70 went home v****. The next day only 102 of 344 showed up for
school and 35 went home v***. This created huge anxiety for
me. So much so, that I kept the kids home the day before
break. As it turned out some girl v*** big time all over my
son's class so I am glad I kept them home. After we returned
from break, we had a two week respite and then BOOM it was back againt
with a vegeance. As for respiratory things, there were a few
cases here and there, but nothing too awful. It seemed to fizzle
out before it ever go started. The stomach virus has real staying
power this year. Because of that I have had it on my mind
from morning to night. Its not in the fore front, but it
ever lurking.



As for anxiety - about emet - I always have it. My poor kids (and
I say this tongue-in-cheek) have the hand washing, don't touch the
faucet, open the door with a paper towel, don't touch your face, keep
you fingers out of your nose/mouth and please use the sanitizer routine
down pretty good. Its like second nature for them. Yeah, I
had to be a crazy b***h about it for a few years, but now they have it
down to science. Everywhere else in my life I am very normal, so
if this is all they have to deal with it is probably not too
terrible. As far as I am concerned we can only help them with
using good hygiene. Viruses and bacteria mutate so quickly
nowadays that you can never be too careful.



So the answer to your question is YES.



Stella

[swiftette]

I think all the stories are the worst!!! It seems like I can hear people talking about Sv* no matter where I go-you can't escape them!In the grocery check out line, in the school yard, at the pta meeting-and then I try to "escape" by watching t.v and there has been this movie on for like 3 months now called The secret lives of dentists, and it has NO PURPOSE-it's all about sv*Who would make such a movie and who the hell would wanna watchit?It's like buying that icky sculpture on the other post.

[harmonygirl72]

Ohhh, I saw that movie!!! BAD!!! I had actually heard the story on NPR and when I was watching it with a friend it all came back to me! I had to hide in the other room for a lot of it!!

[sheri-baby]

Welcome to my world. I have kids the exact age as yours. My daughter is 7 and my son is 5. This year has been incredibly challenging for me because since October of 2004, the stomach virus has been pervasive throughout our city. It just has not let up much. Just for a quick nanosecond when I though things had quieted down, I would hear another horror story of several people being sick. For the first time in my childrens' school's history (and that is 25 years), there was a horrible stomach virust outbreak two days before winter break this school year. On a Monday, there were 10 kids absent out of 344. The next day 120 were absent and 70 went home v****. The next day only 102 of 344 showed up for school and 35 went home v***. This created huge anxiety for me. So much so, that I kept the kids home the day before break. As it turned out some girl v*** big time all over my son's class so I am glad I kept them home. After we returned from break, we had a two week respite and then BOOM it was back againt with a vegeance. As for respiratory things, there were a few cases here and there, but nothing too awful. It seemed to fizzle out before it ever go started. The stomach virus has real staying power this year. Because of that I have had it on my mind from morning to night. Its not in the fore front, but it ever lurking.

As for anxiety - about emet - I always have it. My poor kids (and I say this tongue-in-cheek) have the hand washing, don't touch the faucet, open the door with a paper towel, don't touch your face, keep you fingers out of your nose/mouth and please use the sanitizer routine down pretty good. Its like second nature for them. Yeah, I had to be a crazy b***h about it for a few years, but now they have it down to science. Everywhere else in my life I am very normal, so if this is all they have to deal with it is probably not too terrible. As far as I am concerned we can only help them with using good hygiene. Viruses and bacteria mutate so quickly nowadays that you can never be too careful.

So the answer to your question is YES.

Stella

[carlie]

To answer your question, yes. I fear my kids getting sick more than myself [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]. And my daughter just had a stomach virus this past weekend. On her birthday no less [img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]. I have been consumed with my phobia ever since.


I just wish there was a pill that I could take that would rid me of this fear.

[ontariogirl]

I think about it everynight, thinking if my son will be waking up through the night being sick, catching some other kids sv. It is pathetic, and I agree with carlie I wish there was a pill to.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[rileyl]

Hello all. That my children (ages 8 and 6) might v*, or even worse, catch a sv is my single greatest fear in life. Intellectually I know that this is ridiculous, but it is with me all the time. You are in very good company here! It's nice to hear that other mothers nag their kids about hygiene etc. Part of me thinks this is obsessive, and another part thinks that it makes good sense. A recent health department bulletin for our county indicated that norovirus is circulating here again.Unbelievable!!Sending my kids out in to the world (to school etc.) knowing that is so hard. I feel like I can never relax about it.

[rileyl]

Ontariogirl - I believeyou havea 21 year old son too.Do you still worry about him like you do your 12 year old? If not, at what age were you able to stop worry so much? I am hoping that this phobia gets easier for me as my kids get older. Sometimes, I don't know how I am going to make it until they are adults.

[sheri-baby]

rileyl, your kids are about same age as mine. Have they had sv's before? How many times? And when one gets it does the other? I wonder if the hand sanitizers even prevent sv's. Maybe we should send our kids too school with masks and gloves!!

[Sun666]

Hmmm, i only hope that you all , don´t give your emet to your kids...that would be awful.


Your kids should be free, without any emetproblems....that is why i only want a baby if I have overcome the emet...


I never want to give my kids such a (bad) life...Kids arenotice all, kids are all remember.....and kids can get your fear...and do you want this???





Jenny

[samara's on tv]

I don't have kids, and I'm afraid to have kids. For one I don't know how I would react if one of them got the flu. I also don't want to have kids because I'm afraid of getting morning sickness when I'm pregnant. I haven't V*ed in about 6 or 7 years and I don't want to get sick from being pregnant! Is that weird?


~Monica

[stella9]

Hi Monica,



I know where you are because I was in the same place. When I was
really young, early in my marriage, I became pregnant. I never
V*** but I was sOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sick. I had unrelenting nausear
for six weeks. Then I lost the baby. The memory was so
horrible that I was adamant never to have kids. But I got over
the fear and had two. The first three months were horrible.
I wore sea bands, took Zofran for the nausear, drank lemonade and
crunched on ice. The only time when I was not sick was when I was
eating. Everything I ate tasted horrible. Then I hit the 13
week mark and, voila, the morning sickness lifted and I felt great.
Three years ago, I fell unexpectanly pregnant and the nausear was
horrendous. Just as it was winding down, I lost the
pregnancy.



Do not let the thought of morning sickness keep you from having
children. There are so many things you can do from taking Zofran,
sea bands, accupuncture, massage therapy to help you through it
IF you enen get it. The joy of having children outweighs
the morning sickness a million-fold.



Stella

[kibblekitty]

I too have 3 little ones, 6yr, 4yr and 3yr. I am constantly wondering if they will wake me up at night because of a sv and that has happened a few times with our 6 year old, but he isn't a freak about it at all, he just tells us and blows it off. The other two are the same way.....I just want the cycle to stop with me. I can handle it when it is happening but I constantly ask them if they are feeling ok and if anything is wrong and that will only lead to emet in the future. I just need to back off and let the virus ride out and try to keep my cool and NOT get it. That is the worst thing for me.


Welcome to the site.


Kibblekitty

[rileyl]

Sheri - sorry; I just saw your post. Anyway, my oldest (8 almost 9 years old)has rarely caught sv. I think I figured that he averaged one about every two years so far (and only 3 have been ones he picked up himself;the other 2 he caught from his sister). That is actually doable, even for an emet parent. My daughter had a really bad time right around age 4 - she had several in a 6 month period of time. It was awful, and, frankly, that is when my phobia kicked into high gear.


My point is that each kid is different. They may or may not be vulnerable to sv's.The good news is that handwashing helps. Educate your kids. And if one of them gets sick, you CAN prevent its spread through your family. I have been able to do this successfully to date.Hygiene again, and I keep my kids apart for several days.It's funny, my kids fight a lot until I try to keep them apart. Then suddenly, all they want to do is be together. Go figure!!!

[lynnej]

I cannot believe so many people are the same as me!!! I have 2 kids age 5 and 3 and bless them they must have the strongest stomachs ever because they hardly ever catch bugs!!!! Its like I have a guardian angel who watches them at night. It doesn't stop me worrying EVERY NIGHT that they are going to be ill. When they shout me through the night I am cringing as I walk into their room thinking that maybe they have puked. Luckily for me it doesn't happen often but if and when it does their wonderful father looks after them. I don't know what I would do without him!!! He even had to turn down a job which was well paid working away because I cannot cope without him being here with me and the kids every night!!!


I dread it most because my little boy (3) is very clingy with me when he is ill and I am so afraid that he will need me when hev** and I won't be able to help him. My little girl knows now that her Dad is the one to turn to when she's ill!!!! I am not strict about hygiene but I always make them wash their hands before a meal and when they have been to the loo but they are quite grubby kids and am very surprised they haven't picked something up (I hope I am not tempting fate speaking like this).





Lynne

[shiva]

Hmm.. I don't think that phobia's are necessarily contagious. And, I think there are much worse things people could do to their children than make them wash their hands. I would not consider my child's life "BAD" at all. But thanks for the concern.

[swiftette]

[QUOTE=shiva]


Hmm.. I don't think that phobia's are necessarily contagious. And, I think there are much worse things people could do to their children than make them wash their hands. I would not consider my child's life "BAD" at all. My feelings exactly!

[carlie]

Lynne, my son is very much attached to me too, whether he's sick or well. I know when he gets the dreaded stomach virus, he will want me and only me. It makes me nervous every time I think about it.


My daughter is showing a lot of emet signs already at age 4. I know it's not because of how I've handled her getting sick, because I haveput up a great front when it's happened. I'm very worried about her though.


I know my parents didn't give it to me. I was born with it. From a very young age I showed signs too.

[lynnej]

Reply to Carlie


You have the same problems as me by the sounds of it Carlie, my little girl who is 5 is showing signs too. She gets frightened when she feels sick and worries all the time just like I did when I was young. My little girl knows its her Daddy she has to turn to when she feels that way but I still get very worried every time she says her tummy hurts which is quite often!!!!!


I definitely believe my Mum instilled the phobia with me though....she wasn't afraid of other people being sick, but she made a big deal of it when she felt ill herself!!!! I hated it when she was ill as she wouldn't let me cuddle her and thats why I reckon I got the feeling that being sick was something to be scared of!!!!


The worst nightmare for us is thinking that our poor children will be inflicted with this terrible phobia and have to go through life with so much worry like we do!!!





Lynne

[miapia]

I am brand new to this site, but this topic hits so close to home it is the first I am replying to.


I have two children - a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. I spend hours each day worrying about them being sick, and lay in bed worrying at night that one of them will be sick. I hate to say this, but it really controls my life, and I feel so miserable. I am constantly in a state of "high alert", and so stressed inside because I try to put up a "normal" front so my kids don't sense my anxiety.


Luckily I am another one with a wonderful husband who deals with them when they get sick. I find it so difficult to be in the same room with one of them when they are sick with a sv - when they need me most. Honestly, I feel like such a horrible mother sometimes, and I am completely ridden with guilt.


Last month both my kids had an awful stomach bug. I knew my son wasn't feeling well, and I was so scared to be home alone I took him to my 77 year old grandmother's house and let her deal with him when he got sick. I couldn't even be in the house, and had to go outside.


Wow. I am just so overwhelmed that I found this website. It doesn't make me feel "normal", but I do feel better that I am not the only one out there laying awake at night just dreading hearing my child call for me for fear they are sick.

[lynnej]

No Miapia you are definitely not alone!!!!


People think its bad having this dreadful phobia and although I hate being sick myself I dread it more when it happens to my kids!!!


I have even thought that if me and my partner did ever split up I would have to let him have custody of the children because there would be no way I could cope on my own with them!!! But then I feel so guilty even thinking I could spend one day without them!!! I feel like the worst mother ever, believe me!!!! Kids need their Mums so much when they are little and I feel like such a failure!! My partner cares for them but then gets distressed because they want me and I can't look after them, its horrible.

[rileyl]

Miapia -


I recognize everything you said in your post. You are not alone. I love my children so much and feel like a failure too that v'g is such a huge issue for me. It is so hardthat thisphobia is tied up with our children.What an awful thing for a parent to have to contend with!

[carlie]

Well ladies, my worst fear happened to me yesterday afternoon (see post
on General Discussion "My Worst Mom Fear"). I'm happy to say I
handled it much better than I had anticipated. My 3 yr old son
handled it pretty well too. Don't get me wrong, I panicked . .
but only on the inside and I was</span> able to be there for him.



I'm feeling confident that I can be the Mom I want to be when they are
sick with sv's. I hope that confidence doesn't fade with time and
experiences.

[sweetness]

Monica im so scared of having children also, because of the morning sickness. I feel so selfish for feeling that way, but i do.


I dont know if once i ahd kids id be scared of them v* because my neighbours kids, who are like sisters to me, whenever they get sick i dont get too worried. Although it still makes me uncomfortable. If someone says they are going to v* i just wanna run for the hills.


I think my hpobia is pretty much confined to the act of v* and just in myself. Also Nausea. Hopefully it doesnt manifest itself in my kids, if im ever brave enough to have them.


x

[pinkdrummer]

I'm terrified of having children as well. I know I'm a bit young to be thinking about that (I'm 14), but it scares the hell out of me. I'd hate to go through the morning sickness, and then my kids getting sick... I could never deal with it.


*Sarah*