Welcome to the International Emetophobia Society | The Web's Largest Meeting Place for People With Emetophobia.
Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Am I alone?

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Am I alone?

    I've been living with emetephobia for as long as I can remember. It takes over my life.
    I'd give anything to be able to wake up in the morning and not worry about what will happen today.
    I love food, but I have to force myself to eat it, only to survive, and after I've eaten, I worry it'll make me sick.
    I don't go out and socialise with my friends because the thought of being around people who are drunk makes me feel sick.
    I wash my hands every time I touch something or someone.
    I compulsively check best before dates on food, I won't eat food from a new places or try a food I've never tried before.
    I've had enough of living my life like this, in complete fear. I'm 19 years old, I just want to be normal.
    I'm embarrassed of my phobia. Other people don't understand! They say I'm being silly, they brush it off like it's nothing when to me; it's my main focus.
    I'm now starting to become very thin, very depressed and my anxiety is becoming more frequent. My desire for control is greatly increasing.
    I desperately want this to all go away!
    Please, is there someone who has similiar behaviour? Help me?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    137

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    I'm almost certain everyone here understands honey. You are not at all alone. Is this your first time on the site? A lot of us struggle with unhealthy eating habits, control issues, social anxieties. Some worse than others depending on the specific area of topic. I'm so sorry you are feeling helpless and embarrassed. You need not feel any of those things here on this site. Let it out!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    Yes it's my first time on this site. I'm having a particularly bad episode tonight. I just want to go to sleep and I can't

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Hawthorne california
    Posts
    358

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    I do most of the things on you list except im not thin ! Sometimes it gets better sometimes its worse... You should look into getting some sort of therapy, its a long road to recovery but I can be done, even if we dont get cured our quality of life can be greatly improved with some simple coping skills.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    But how? How can you cure yourself of such extreme fears?

  6. #6

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    I'm exactly like you, I do all the things you do and more. The only time I feel somewhat better is if I'm REALLY happy in my life, then the anxiety and laser-focus on this fear seems to subside. But that kind of happiness dpesn't seem to last so all my fears and focus surrounding getting sick inevitably come back. Like you, I really want to be able to wake up in the morning and feel good.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    i'm 100% like you... we all wish to wake up in the morning with no fear of what will happen today. i cant socialise eather or meet new people, being around them makes me worry. happiness really helps because you can sometimes forget about your phobia when you are surrounded with good friends who make you laugh. i wish i could help you but i'm not controlling my fear at all these days and the phobia is taking over my life... i wish you luck

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    23

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    You will never have to feel like you're the only one! I'm sure there's so many people who can relate here; I know that I can. I understand your feelings, I can't be around any drunk people and I constantly wash my hands. Don't ever be embarrassed by your feelings, you can't help it! I know that it seems like nothing will help, but talking about it to other people could be a comfort to you. You are not alone! <3

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    Thank you for all your replies, I do feel comforted now that other people have the same mental problems as me. O understand and can relate to what one of you said about finding happiness helps the anxiety subside, however it only overpowers it for short periods of time. Even my good days aren't great. I feel anxiety about something at least once every hour, and once it's in my mind, I can't get it out. It frightens me that one day I'll be unable to start a family because of the way I am. And what's more, what kind if life would I be able to offer a child? I wouldn't be able to nurse a sick child. I can't even nurse or comfort myself! I tend to push people away because I think, "how could anybody love somebody like me?" I feel useless to anybody and most of all, to myself. I just wish there was somebody who could make it go away.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    I'm a little late coming to this thread, but AmieH, I can identify with your extreme fear, as I'm sure most people can. I am 21 and have suffered from emetophobia for as long as I can remember. I also have severe anxiety and suffer severe panic attacks - it's a paradoxical cycle with anxiety because it immediately makes me feel n* which increases my anxiety, which increases my anxiety. And then there's always the timeless question: do I feel n* because I'm panicking or am I panicking because I feel n* and have a sv* or something else?

    I recently went to an intensive therapy clinic to help with this - although it did not focus on my phobia, it did help with certain aspects of my anxiety. Here are some things I found most helpful:

    1. Square breathing - breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold for four, release gently from your mouth for four. Repeat in series of four. This will calm your nervous system and also distract you because you are focused on counting. It will also quell n*.

    2. Distractions - your fear is controlling everything, distractions will help transfer your focus from that to something else. There are many different techniques - counting tiles in bathrooms, naming 5 items in whatever room your in, then name another 5. What I find most helpful are games on my phone (scramble with friends is my personal go-to). It's fast moving and will immediately draw your focus elsewhere. At first, it can be very hard to focus on something else, but keep trying and your focus will move from fear to something else, allowing your body to relax.

    3. Thought stopping techniques. This takes a little practice but it works for 80% of people who suffer from phobias and panic. The way it was taught to me was to set an alarm for three minutes, for those three minutes, focus on what you're afraid of (I will usually sit there and say over and over again "I'm scared of v*. I'm scared I have a sv*. I'm scared I'm sick"). Don't pay attention to the time so that way when the alarm goes off it startles you. As soon as your hear that alarm shout "STOP" as loud as you can (it can be difficult depending on your living situation - I once had my dad run into my room asking what was going on). Even just saying "STOP" softly but forcefully will work. It is also suggested that when you hear that alarm you snap your wrist with a hair tie or pinch yourself. After that - replace the negative thought with a different one... which will bring me to my fourth suggestion.

    4. Logic. I am so extremely afraid of v* - but I haven't in years. How many times have I had panic attacks and been afraid that I was going to v* and didn't? I haven't v* from a sv* in 12 years. Logic says I will be fine. Then I go to statistics: one study says that the average non-emet reported having v* 5 months earlier. For emets - it's 12.5 years. Most sufferers of emetophobia claimed to have been sick 6.5 times in their entire lives. Logic is on your side that you will be just fine.
    Now, I get this is much larger than statistics - I don't want to have to be afraid of being sick. It is a normal thing and it shouldn't be terrifying. I, however, am not a professional, just a fellow sufferer, and these are techniques that I have employed during moments of panic. I can't promise success, but I say they're all worth a shot.

    I also have the same fears of you about one day starting a family. What would I do if my child got sick? My husband? I went through a very bad period of time a few months ago - I was extremely depressed, lost a lot of weight very quickly, spent upwards of 20 hours a day in bed, completely isolated myself from family and friends. I realized, however, all this did was perpetuate was cyclical thoughts. After the clinic, I'm now out of the house for 10 hours a day, going out with friends, trying new things, and I find that I don't focus on my phobia while doing this. It was hard at first - but I went to a party one night, was very anxious all night, but came home and realized - I made it! Nothing bad happened. Experience builds confidence. It also helps to have at least one person to turn to. I have one friend who I know I can call at 4am and cry and cry and just say over and over again "I'm so scared I'm going to v*". She doesn't truly understand my phobia, but she doesn't judge me and she is willing to be there for me, and she comforts me and I almost always feel better.

    I am far from better, and I still panic constantly and am still very scared of v*, but I've recognized certain progresses (I can now watch people v* on TV, for instance). It gives me hope.

    If you want to talk more, please feel free to personal message me if you want my e-mail or anything.
    Feel free to personal message me if

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    Thank you I will try those techniques. I'm so glad I found this website. For so long I've felt alone. I've felt like a freak. I've been so embarrassed by my phobia, I worry about telling people because I worry they will just think I'm mad and I'll be taken to a mental house. I can't even watch or even hear people v* in the tele, even in cartoons I find it hard to look at. The horrible thing is, I know it's my own thoughts that are fuelling the fears.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    39

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    I totally understand what you're saying here. I've been suffering with this fear since I was about 8 years old, and I am now 18. A lot of people don't take me seriously and I wish not to tell them but sometimes in some circumstances I must. For instance, in class my friend asked to take my notes home over the weekend to copy them, she was feeling to nauseated to do it herself. I would not let her take my notes fearing she could be infected with a stomach virus and I could end up catching it. I told her that, and she looked at me as if I were stupid, rolled her eyes, and asked another student for their notes. It really hurts me. When I first opened up about my fear to a doctor, telling her I was unable to even go to school, because I feared v* myself, or being associated with people who may have jsut gotten over it, her response to me was, "its just throwing up, its not a big deal, just take a paper bag to school and if you have to v* do it in that" that hurt me as well, especially coming from a doctor.

    About anxiety, I will always have it when I think of v* or feel nauseated. Although I have found somewhat of a short term "cure" for when I feel so anxious that doesn't involve addictive medications(I am prescribed ativan, trying not to use it because it is addictive and I have plans on joining the military) but I actually have one very close friend, who is also my boyfriend of two years now, who wanted to help me the moment he found out I suffered from this fear. And everytime I feel nauseated and the anxiety starts kicking in, i'll call him, and we'll tell stories about our days(mine are usually sad, while his were very funny in order to make me laugh and become distracted) and eventually within time, I didn't feel anxious or sick anymore. And I was free to go about my day.
    Even if you don't feel comfortable enough telling someone you know about your fear, the crisis hotline(1 800 784 2433) has helped me out in so many ways. They are always there to talk to and were always so understanding. Just being able to talk and vent out helps the anxiety.

    Wish you and everyone else suffering with this the best

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Devon
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    Thank you. I just hope that one day it will get better and I'll be able to have a family of my own and look after them and myself.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Am I alone?

    Honey, you're so young - so am I. We don't need to start our families this instant. Take things day by day, moment by moment when you have to. Get through one moment, then the next. There's little point in creating more anxiety, despair and depression by going through all the what ifs, and especially the what if I can'ts. Also remember that for many people, anxiety and depression increase greatly between the ages of 15 and 25. While I've always been afraid of v*ing, it got so much worse when I was about 16. There's hope that things will settle down. In the meantime, just learn what exactly you need to take care of yourself before you start worrying about taking care of others.

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •