Last night I ended up having more to drink then I should have. I've drank times before this, and i'm always careful so I know I won't get sick while drinking, or after. However last night, ended up throwing up twice while drunk, and now all day I feel extremely nauseated. The nausea comes and goes, but when its there, I immediately go into a panic attack crying and screaming and in need of comfort. I haven't thrown up since about midnight, i've eaten some toast throughout the day, and working on a banana. Also sipping water here and there. I feel hunger pains, but i'm so scared to eat because i'm scared of throwing it up. Will eating perhaps make me feel better?

First post on here, so some background information, I am 18(yes I know, not legal to drink...trust me it won't be happening again because I have thrown up from it), and have struggled with emetophobia all my life. I have anxiety, depression, and hypochondria all from this phobia. When I was very young, I had h pylori, and felt sick constantly. After the infection was gone however, I was so scared of nausea and stomach pain, that everynight I would "create" nausea in my stomach by thinking about it and fearing throwing up so much. It took over my life. I was enrolled into therapy and group sessions at this point and eventually just came out of this nightly pattern after a few months. In January 2010, I threw up for the first time in years from food poisoning. Then 2 months later, I started fearing every day that I would throw up. I did not sleep, was constantly dehydrated, starving myself, and laying by a toilet 24/7 because I was so convinced that my nausea was true nausea and that I was going to get sick. I was taken to the ER multiple times, and every time they would just send the psychiatrist in to calm me down because there was nothing physically wrong with me. I was put back into therapy, and they decided to try and enroll me into a group home for anxiety(this did not turn out well at all). I met someone at this horrid time in my life who was very concerned for me and took it up for himself to try and cure me by talking to me every single time I felt sick. He distracted me and the pretend nausea would just fade away. About 4 months later I was okay again. I didn't create the nausea in my head anymore. However now that I have thrown up last night, I fear this will all come back again. I can't do it again. It was such a depressing time in my life. I just want to be able to feel sick, and be okay with it. But I cannot cope with what happened last night. I am in severe denial about it. I break into tears and scream thinking about it. I don't know what to do anymore...