OT: Feeling REALLY Down

[kaiilyn_23]

I went to the doctor today, and of course, he weighed me. I'm at 136 pounds, which I don't think there's anything wrong with, and I'm 5'5.5, but it made me feel so low. Last year I was 104 pounds. And now I'm 136. I just feel so fat. My stomach, looks awful, I'm always trying to suck in which is dumb, I know. I'm getting more and more self conscious as the days go by, pinching every bit of skin. I'm not ever going to starve myself. Ever. But I totally need to cut out the bad foods. I'm going to cut out dairy and gluten, which I was SUPPOSED to do forever ago anyway, and my doctor said that might help. My mom was laughing at me, trying to make a joke out of it and make fun of me and I didn't appreciate that at all. My self esteem is almost non-existent and I just don't even know what to think besides negatives.

Plus, he gave me a chart of all the times he's weighed me, every time I see him it goes UP. Apparently, when we started off last year I was underweight. But still.

And to make things more awesome, my mom goes "Yeah, you have been looking a little plumper lately." not even in a kidding way. I'm probably over-analyzing things way too much but I'm so down right now, I'm 14, incredibly self conscious and self esteem, well, not even sure what that is anymore.

I'm not really seeking advice here. I know I need to work out, be healthier, and lose some weight. I'm just really down, I needed to vent to someone (people) that wouldn't laugh or make fun of me. I was really hurt when my mom kept poking fun at me.

I know I'm not overweight, either. But when I saw that number, I freaked out. I know, I know in my head that it's probably fine. That it's HEALTHY, and better than underweight. But I'm just struggling so much with my body image, and the last time I weighed myself I was 123.3, and now I'm thirteen pounds heavier. I'm always comparing myself to everyone else, "Oh, I bet _____ doesn't weigh this much." and I need to stop that too, because it's so unhealthy. I know all these things, yet I keep letting myself think these things. It's such a vicious cycle.

[Missa_Mae]

I hear you on that. Last year I weighed about 143ish and am down to 136ish so I should be happy right? Wrong. I compare myself to everyone. Im 5'3" and a size 5 ..most of my "fat" is in my legs & butt but i used to hardcore ballet dance for 20 years ... I guess i just try to keep telling myself that im not overweight, im healthy & as long as I'm eating right & exercising then I shouldnt care about the numbers on the scale.

We both need to stop comparing ourselves to other people ... Nobody is perfect. Just continue to eat right & exercise. I also drink green tea daily, its a good anti viral but alos really helps with weight loss

[spilled_milk]

You know, I am at the heaviest I've ever been right now, but everyone is telling me that I actually look better having some curves and not being stick skinny. It is healthy, and I bet you look great! I definitely feel you on the stomach, when I gain weight it goes right to my stomach and thighs. I don't think I need to lose weight at all, but I do want to start toning my abs and creating some muscle there. That way I don't need to lose weight but I will be stronger and healthier and hopefully get rid of the stomach pooch

Don't compare yourself to how others weigh, because the number doesn't matter at all. It's what is right for you and looks good on you. Everybody is different! My friend is very short and pretty heavy, but that's just how her body is and she is absolutely gorgeous.