Emets age 20+. How do you cope as an independent adult?

[Hay]

Hi, I'm 18 and severly emetophobic. Ive had the phobia from a baby but it has been serious in the last 2-3 years. Unfortunately, becoming a late teen has involved new independence, which scares me now when I'm not even adult yet. I've even put off university when I should be going this year and I wish I could go. (I got the brains) now I'm starting to worry about my future and living my life 'normally', such as uni, work, holiday, having kids, being independent. My phobia is literally controlling my life.

I just wanted to ask adult emets how they deal with day-to-day responsibility and challenges, like work, family, uni, holidays. Does emet get better as you age? Or worse? Does it stop you doing 'normal' things?

Thanks for replying, I haven't got any adult emets to talk to.

[spilled_milk]

I know it's scary. I'm 21 and just graduated from college and am moving clear across the country to California to find a job. My entire family lives on the East Coast, and only 9 months ago I was being admitted into outpatient treatment weighing 100 lbs, refusing to eat, and not being able to do anything let alone live by myself. Somehow I finished my first semester of senior year, then went to California for my last semester internship, and somehow...the pieces just fell into place. I guess that's the only way I can explain it. Trying to plan too much made me much more anxious than just letting it happen and letting myself come into my own. Emet can stop you doing normal things if you let it, but you have to try and fight and not let it I still have breakdowns of course, I have freaked out at work, and I have wanted to fly six hours home because I felt sick.

University was great for me, to be honest. It's scary to think about but it's a wonderful time in your life and you have lots of fun and learn so much. I was still anxious but sometimes I was just too busy to be anxious!

Do you have a therapist? I found that CBT therapy is helping me a lot, and my therapist supports me through big changes like you are going through. It's really nice to have that support in place.

Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk about anything!

[lucyandfelix]

I'm 36, and I really can't tell you how, but I do. When my overall anxiety is high, the emetophobia is more difficult. When my anxiety is more manageable and I'm on meds, I'm pretty good at pushing it to the back of my mind. I'm a middle school teacher, too...a pretty "dangerous" profession. I can't really tell you how, but I'm doing it, so maybe that'll give you some hope.

[lizzo]

I guess because I don't want to be a co-dependent shroud of what I could potentially be. It's why I work, go to school, make travel plans, etc. Life doesn't have to end because of a phobia.

For some people emetophobia gets better with age or having children. For most it gets better with therapy and a conscious effort to recover.

[anxiousinmi]

You just do it....somedays are hard and even as a 35 year old married mom, there are still times I call my own mom for reassurance. I agree that how isn't something I can put into words, but I am doing it.

[olschesky]

i agree with everyone.....you just have to do it. you have to push yourself everyday to go to school or work......you will find that once you get out and get involved in life your emet will be pushed back.

i know that prozac also is a big help for me.........try not to worry too much about the future...take each day as it comes

[Hay]

Thanks, you're all my inspiration. (cheesy, but true) !!

[dipper]

I'm 27, have been emetophobic since I was a kid, and my worrying comes and goes. It's worse in the winter and when I hear there's a bug going around. When I was a student, I actually worried less - I think I got distracted by new friends and a new city, and was having too much fun!

I just try to put mind over matter and get on with things - which is hard as I worry every day, especially when I travel away from home, that I'm going to get sick and ruin my trip/working day. But I really, really try to push it to the back of my mind.

It's part of my attempt to help myself through the phobia. I very rarely let it stop me doing things, I just make sure I keep up a good level of hygiene, and live by a few rules: never eat buffets, never eat from bowls of snacks that other people have had their hands in (unless it's just me and my boyfriend!), always wash my hands before eating/cooking and after using the loo, and generally not touching my face or putting my fingers in my mouth. And also, if you work in an office, bring a packed lunch from home in a lunchbox with your own cutlery, take it home to wash at night, and make sure you have your own mug, that way you reduce the risk of catching stuff off your colleagues.

If you keep to these rules and try not to be obsessive over handwashing (a few germs do you good, honest!) I truly believe that 99% of the time you'll stay healthy. You'll be fine! Don't let the emet take over your life, you're young and have a whole world to explore xxx

[randall3329]

Sounds silly really, but i do it by just getting on with it. Im 25, have 3 children, 2 of whom are at school. I work 5 days a week as a therapist, i work from home a few hours a week creating meal plans for an eating disorder unit and i bake and sell cakes in my spare time. I dont socialise often, but when i do its places i find comfy like a meal out, cinema, local pub where i know everybody. The hardest thing is having my girls at school, constantly worrying, stay and play days are so hard and i cant do school trips and can only just do school plays. I have to be busy, infact i dont stop until i go to bed - but that makes it easier for me, if im busy then i dont think
my emet has got much worse since i had children, but i would do it all again in a heartbeat x

[chrisco79]

I'm 32 and have had bad Emet since I was 14. I have had times when it has been so severe that I wouldn't eat for months, but since becoming an adult I have only allowed that to happen twice. I say allowed because I hate food and every time I eat I have severe anxiety about it. But as an adult I know that I have to eat to live and that it is my responsibility to care for myself. College was the one time that I felt my best. It is such a great experience and so much fun that I didn't have time to worry. My fears haven't gotten worse they've always been bad though so I don't know that they can get any worse. I think as you get older you just come up with more ways of dealing with it.

[asianeko]

When my emetophobia was at its peak I dragged myself to work because I knew I had to. I was really scared, but I ended up going to therapy because I dind't want to live my life scared.

[AmberG89]

Hi! I am 22, and I like everyone, just some how get through it.. I just drag myself to school, cause if I don't, then.... lol and I can't just live my life in feer... there are times where I do get worried/anxious, but during the week, I'm so busy that I forget, and try to push my Emet as far back in my mind as I can until something/someone triggers it... but for me, it's getting worse as I get older... I've been emet since I was 8 years old... all my life, people have laughed at me and thought I was crazy, but now that I know that Emetophobia does exist, I just explain to people what it is, and most times they still don't really understand it until something triggers it... but I just push myself to do stuff... I eat out, I hang out with people, all the normal things, until someone triggers it...... but I just am going day by day and getting through it as best I can! Amber