feeling suicidal, help?

[sammehammer]

Every time I think about my life or my body or just anything bad about me, I start feeling like I just want to die so it will end. I'm so tired of living this terrible life, but so afraid to die. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm having a break down. I'm too young to feel like this. What do I do? I'm scared.

[olschesky]

sounds like you're having a rough night. i know this stupid phobia can really seem overwhelming at times. i can remember many nights hoping i just wouldn't wake up in the morning....it would have been so much easier i thought. but these bad times pass and we learn to cope and it can get easier. do not let this phobia win......

have you had any medical help in dealing with the anxiety? there are lots of options ......even though it may take several tries to find the correct one.....don't get discouraged. you also have to push yourself everyday to do things......even if you're scared....a baby step everyday leads to bigger things.

i hope you can find some peace in life.......there are lots of good people here to help you. stay positive, find some good and fun distractions for your mind.......and know that we are here and know exactly how you feel so you're not alone

[fixxxer2012]

Were not suppose to talk about this on here. I suggest youcall a suicide hotline.

[twinmom73]

Were not suppose to talk about this on here. I suggest youcall a suicide hotline.

Why are we not to talk about this? Many of us have nights or days where we feel like giving up. If someone told me they felt suicidal, I wouldnt just say...call the hotline and walk away. I am pretty annoyed at your response, it sounded very dismissive.. If I can read about people's shit color, then I certainly can take a few moments to console someone who is feeling really low.

Samme - How are you doing now? I know it seems bad, but trust me, there will be better days! There is a lot of help out there, please look into perhaps seeing someone for this. Just know that you are not alone in how you feel.

[lonwlf68]

"we are not supposed to talk about this here"?? what an insensitive and uncaring thing to say! I think her feeling is fairly common among those of us with emetophobia (I too feel this way at times),and I feel we should be here for the folks who are dealing with these feelings,not just dismiss them!

Samme: I truly understand what your feeling,as I have been there myself (and stilll have the thoughts),but try not to let it get you down! this is a terrible phobia that most people (like those without it) don't seem to understand! I wish there were more I could do for you,as hearing this saddens me,but all I can do online is offer verbal support! Please hang in there,ok!!

[jmoore10]

I don't think it's so much that fixxer was trying to come across as cold. Previously it was mentioned (could have been by one of the mods-I truly don't remember) that if someone honest to god were on the verge of doing something drastic to seek intervention help immediately, instead of posting and waiting for someone to respond. So I think maybe what fixer was referring to.
Hi samme
I hope this post finds you feeling better physically and emotionally. Trust me when I say most if not all of us have had the same mindset as you. I myself felt that way not too long ago. It's easy when you are feeling at your lowest that it's impossible to imagine brighter days but they are there! You are so much more than this stupid phobia and life, believe it or not, is so worth living to the fullest that we can.
I read a phrase once when I was struggling very badly and for some reason it really helped to give me some hope " nobody said life would be easy, the just promised it would be worth it"
Please don't lose hope!

[out_of_order]

If I can read about people's shit color, then I certainly can take a few moments to console someone who is feeling really low.

AMEN!!!! Some people here talk about things that are much more disturbing than feeling suicidal.

Sammehammer, I'm so sorry you're feeling so hopeless right now. I can totally understand because I've had many many days where I believed the only way to stop the insanity of this phobia was to die but I didn't really want to die, I just wanted the pain of living like this to stop. I wish I had something magically profound to say that would make everything all better for you but all I can tell you is to hang in there and not give up because it can get better but you have to help yourself along - just like you're doing by reaching out for help here on this thread. Talking about it helps A LOT. Distraction is also very helpful. Some people get relief from medication, and of course there's therapy. Please try EVERYTHING because although no one thing might be "the answer", everything helps a little and those little successes add up and make a big difference. Please know that you're not alone - many of us with emetophobia have the very same suicidal thoughts BUT they're just that - thoughts. Hang in there, don't give up, and keep reaching out for help.

[KaydeeJayde]

Talk of suicide has been discouraged and threads closed in the past, that's what fixxxer means. He (He?) is not being insensitive. Talk of suicide can be triggering.

To the OP, if you're feeling seriously suicidal and considering it, the best thing to do is to try and find a hotline. I think we've all been really low, but it's possible to recover. I've been exactly where you are, absolutely on the brink of ending it, in fact. Now, after some therapy, lots of talking, some medication and a crapload of damn hard work, I'm doing a billion times better than I was. It definitely can get better

[jkl81]

Here's how it is: Suicide talk is against the rules, but if I see someone talking about it, I will continue to try to help that person if I can. I understand the board owners position on this issue because we are not professionals and I guess it's possible we could say the wrong thing, but I feel that we should absolutely try and help as much as possible until threads like these are closed. We are talking about saving a life here! Not that we're equipped to help but when it comes to suicide, if we could talk one person into "just waiting it out" it's very likely that they'll decide they really want to live and maybe get the help they really need, or perhaps it was just an ultra low moment. Fixxer is not being heartless, he is following the rules, but here s a place where I feel they should be bent or at least enforced on a case by case basis.

[twinmom73]

I don't think it's so much that fixxer was trying to come across as cold. Previously it was mentioned (could have been by one of the mods-I truly don't remember) that if someone honest to god were on the verge of doing something drastic to seek intervention help immediately, instead of posting and waiting for someone to respond. So I think maybe what fixer was referring to.

Yes, I can understand that waiting for someone to respond on a discuss board may not be the best choice and if they feel truely suicidal, they should seek intervention immediately. However, I think the way it was worded was very cold and dismissive. Perhaps saying something like " If you are feeling suicidal, I am more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on, however, please consider also calling a hotline, they have people there 24 hours to speak to, and you wont be sitting feeling alone waiting for someone to respond on the DB when noone may be on to respond!

[twinmom73]

Here's how it is: Suicide talk is against the rules, but if I see someone talking about it, I will continue to try to help that person if I can. I understand the board owners position on this issue because we are not professionals and I guess it's possible we could say the wrong thing, but I feel that we should absolutely try and help as much as possible until threads like these are closed. We are talking about saving a life here! Not that we're equipped to help but when it comes to suicide, if we could talk one person into "just waiting it out" it's very likely that they'll decide they really want to live and maybe get the help they really need, or perhaps it was just an ultra low moment. Fixxer is not being heartless, he is following the rules, but here s a place where I feel they should be bent or at least enforced on a case by case basis.

I don't understand why it would be "against the rules" . Yes, I can understand that we arent professionals, but I don't think cutting off a line of communication to someone who is feeling this way would be good AT ALL.

[KaydeeJayde]

It can be triggering for some people. And what if someone says the wrong thing thinking they're helping and it has a really bad outcome? Having been where the OP is, it would have been so super easy for someone to say one thing thinking they were helping that would have tipped me over the edge. There are PROFESSIONAL lines of communication like hotlines where people are TRAINED to help people feeling like this. Someone's life is way too precious to put at risk like that. I think that the OP should have someone to talk to at times like this, but probably not about their suicidal thoughts, that should be left for a professional to help out with.

[jkl81]

If someone was seriously contemplating suicide, I'd always suggest that they get professional help to fix the underlying problems, and you're probably right that referral to a suicide hotline is best, but on the other hand, what does it say to a person who already thinks that life isn't worth it, if no one on their support site appears to care if they take that irrevocable step, when clearly that's not it...we just don't want to cause more trouble. I fear people might die because it's one more way for them to tell themselves..."See, no one cares!" I could be totally wrong though, I have not been to the point where I've contemplated ending it with any seriousness so I DON"T KNOW what's going through that person's mind. My thinking is, a person who tells a support forum about their suicidal ideas probably wants to be talked out of it, to hear from people who were down in a hole and got better...that life really is worth living. Man this suicide talk is very controversial, I can easily see the other side...a mistake could be devastating....and possibly open the board to liability. I hope no one is offended with my voicing my opinion on this issue, I just would feel horrible if someone reached out to us and we couldn't or wouldn't help and then they did wind up committing suicide. In other news, it looks like we've probably scared the OP away from their own thread, @Sammehammer, I hope you are not still feeling this way, if you are, the others are right, you DO need help above and beyond what this forum can offer you, but we have all been where life looks hopeless and not worth it. It can and does get better....it's a struggle but it isn't always bad!

[MarrickFait]

Hmm, maybe instead of bringing up rules in a thread, send a Pm? I think my post in december or so, I was at lifes end, sleeping with a box cutter. I posted a thread. When others suggested seeking help, I thought I was. Some people are to embarrassed to talk in person or aren't able to use a phone without others overhearing. Also, talking to a psych about suicide usually results in some type of protection program crap.

[out_of_order]

we are not professionals and I guess it's possible we could say the wrong thing

Okay but possibly innacurate advice is given every day on this site about other things. For example, people who are not doctors give advice about medication, diagnose symptoms (everything is IBS ) and so on. Plus, I really don't think anyone who is about to kill themselves is going to bother posting about it. The people who post sucide threads are reaching out for help because the thoughts they're having scare them. No different really than posting about a scary physical symptom.

Talk of suicide can be triggering.

Right. So can talk about everything else that's talked about here. Like, posting about vomiting, about having diarrhea, about a stomach virus going around, and so on.


I personally think that if a person needs help, they should be allowed to post. Period. An emetophobic person who is having suicidal thoughts needs help from other emetophobic people, not from a suicide hotline because as I already said, more often than not these are just thoughts, just another awful symptom of emetophobia. And, in my opinion, by posting on the person's suicide thread that this topic is not allowed or triggering or whatever, makes the person feel even MORE hopeless because if he or she can't talk about it HERE and get support, where are they going to feel safe talking about it? What better place to get support and understanding so they can feel hope again other than right here? Come on people.

[sdfl]

Geez, rules aside I certainly hope & pray you found the help you needed.

[KaydeeJayde]

The OP posted I think yesterday. I'm leaving this, I just trying to do the right thing defending someone who you guys thought was being heartless.

[jkl81]

Hmm, maybe instead of bringing up rules in a thread, send a Pm? I think my post in december or so, I was at lifes end, sleeping with a box cutter. I posted a thread. When others suggested seeking help, I thought I was. Some people are to embarrassed to talk in person or aren't able to use a phone without others overhearing. Also, talking to a psych about suicide usually results in some type of protection program crap.

Good point, around here you can get "Baker Acted" or an involuntary civil commitment for 24 hrs. You have to be either threatening to kill yourself or to visit great bodily harm on others, though if I understand the law correctly. I would suspect mentioning suicidal ideas to a professional would not result in a baker act commitment if you were clever about what exactly you said. If you were threatening to end it all right then, then yeah probably your fate would then be out of your own hands. Also, I agree with KaydeeJayde that Fixxxer wasn't being cold and heartless; he was following the rules. I simply suggest that we are taking a bigger risk by NOT supporting a person with suicidal ideas than by potentially saying the wrong thing.

[Gabbymeeske]

I know exactly how you feel sammehammer. I remember those nights.. I still have them, but you have to remember the saying "this too shall pass." I can promise you that you will get through it. This emet is the most unbelievably scary thing in the world to me. I have scars on my wrist because I just would rather die than throw up... I know what your feeling. I remember nights where I would just lay there and cry and shake saying "mommy, mommy please help me..." in an empty house by myself...She would never help me because she was too busy with her own life.. But not even that matters. All the matter is that the people on this site are here for you and love you because we know how it feels..please don't ever give up. Everything gets better at the end, and if it's not better than its not the end. Stay strong! If you ever wanna talk in here! You can message me and I'll be more than happy to give you my email address or number. Xoxo<33