my story and conclusions..

[Sarah93]

As I mentioned in a thread I posted the other day, I'm 18 years old, and have had this fear since I was about 8. Thinking back now, it started when I was much younger actually, possibly 5?

Anyway, there was a stage in my life where I'd say the fear was pretty much non existent. I hadn't had any therapy, it had just sort of gone away over time. I then caught a SV when I was in year 7, which brought my fear back...but even worse! I then went on to try hypnotherapy, however I felt it did nothing and was a complete waste of time. The doctors ended up referring me for some CBT sessions but by the time it finally got anywhere, I didn't feel I needed to go for them as I was quite sure my fear had pretty much gone away again. Thinking back, it was a mistake, as I know now it was always with me, it just wasn't in my mind so much and affecting my life so dramatically. So for a good few years I wasn't so troubled by my fear and was instead focused on my IBS which i got diagnosed with when I was in year 8. (Another thing i've noticed...us emetophobes often have ibs, which doesnt help!)

Long story short, a couple of years ago when id not long started college, I caught a SV again which has now bought my fear back. I've since had 6 months worth of CBT, which I managed to get the doctors to refer me for again. I loved my sessions and will most probably share my thoughts on CBT properly in another thread soon, however I wish I could of had more sessions, as I'm now still struggling just as much.

One thing me and my therapist both picked up on though and something i'd like to know if you all feel, is that if i'm not worrying about being S*,or catching a SV or i'm not analysing every feeling I have, then I feel I am more likely to actually get ill. We came up with this theory because the last two times I actually had a SV, they caught me by surprise. Both times I was Ill was when my fear had slightly gone away, so I wasn't analysing every feeling, and worrying and both those times, in the build up before I actually V*d it never crossed my mind that I might of had a SV. So i've come to the conclusion that subconsciously i feel that if I let my barrier down and dont analyse my feelings, and worry, then that will be the time I actually do end up having a SV. Ahh, its confusing stuff, but I really wanted to share and just see if any of you have similar feelings.

sorry its quite long winded!

[cinque]

Hello! I'm in the UK as well. I'm glad you found your CBT sessions helpful. It seems a terrible shame that they were stopped when you could benefit from more. Could you be referred for more now?

The correlation between IBS and emetophobia is remarkably strong. I suppose there could be a number of different reasons for that. For me I think it brings my stomach to the forefront of my mind more often, and therefore makes my emetophobia worse. I don't tend to find that anxiety regarding v* makes my IBS worse. But then perhaps my generally anxious personality is what causes my IBS in the first place.

I empathise with your 'superstitious' or subconscious belief that worrying keeps you safe, so to speak. I quite consciously have that reasoning in my mind even though it is irrational. I think I feel that if I am confident in not catching something, that I will catch it.

The age of eight seems a very common one for the phobia to appear. It's very odd! I'm not sure if it is the case for me as I remember anxiety around the issue beforehand. xxx

[Sarah93]

thank you for your reply

I think I definitely could of benefited from some more CBT sessions and would love to look into getting some more, however i'm not sure how it will work now as ive turned 18. I'm not sure if i'd be able to get them for free again through the nhs or not, but i'll have to chat to my doctor about it. I also worry about what therapist id have, as i grew so close to my old one :/ I think id find it hard to start all over again with someone else.

yeah, I think im the same as you with my IBS actually. I'm having a pretty rubbish time right now so my IBS is playing up :/ xxxxx