Ok so this all started with getting my girls' ears pierced at the mall. I then went on to read that it's dangerous and they could become ill from it which totally sparked my anxiety and guilt in a way I have never experienced. At the moment, after hours online reading and researching about the little ear piercing guns they use at Piercing Pagoda, my anxiety attacks are minutes apart, I'm so nauseated from it that I can't move and I'm in a moment of desperation I have never felt before. The thoughts that are in my head should NOT be there although they are and I'm panicking so bad I don't know what to do. Although I have been through hell most my life, and unfortunately self-injure, I have never had 'suicidal' thoughts before this. What scares me is that not even I know why I'm thinking it. I know that 'suicidal talk' is NOT something for this site, but I really need the support from people I trust and who can somewhat understand what I'm going through. All started from ear piercings, geesh I am seriously in need of a straight jacket :/ Please if anyone reads this, please help me. I'd appreciate it with my whole heart. <3 Amanda <3