How were you taken care of as a child when you were sick?

[out_of_order]

I'm wondering if how our parants or caregivers reacted to vomit when we were small children doesn't have something to do with developing emetophobia later in life.

For example, when my daughter was little, even though I was as severely emetophobic as I am now, I managed to "suck it up" and stay calm on the outside and take care of her while she vomited. I spoke very calmly to her, soothed her, reassured her she was fine, explained that it was just whatever was making her tummy feel "yucky" coming out so she could feel better. Once she stopped vomiting, I would give her some water to rinse her mouth and ask her if she felt better now because I wanted her to make the link "vomiting means relief" and not "vomiting means terror". She would always say yes she felt much better. As a result, she's not emetophobic at all now that she's older - thank God! Because my worst fear - worse than my fear of vomiting - was raising my daughter (teaching her) to be emetophobic like me.

In contrast, my mother always freaked out anytime anyone got sick, which wasn't very often at all in my family. She's not emetophobic, she'd just over-react as if the person vomiting was dying. She also has never been very maternal. In fact, my whole family (except me) isn't touchy-feely at all. So there wasn't a lot of care being doled out when I was a child. I had to learn to take care of myself whether I was sick, sad, scared, whatever. There was no one to run to to make it all better. I never felt safe, never cared for, if that makes sense. And I wonder if the lack of nurturing and care, especially when I was sick, as a child has something to do with this insane fear of vomiting I have.

So what about you? How did your mom and dad or caregiver react when you were sick as a child?

[HeatherD83]

My mom sounds very much like your mom. She was slightly emetophobic herself. Once when I was about 5 I remember being about to V and running to the bathroom (which was across the kitchen and down the hall). Instead of comfort, my mom was yelling at me to not get sick on the floor that she had just mopped. She was very hard on us whenever we got sick and my dad ended up taking care of us. I was afraid of V from about the age of 2-3 on, according to my parents. I've often wondered this same thing.

[TryingToBeBrave]

Actually, my mom was not at all emetophobic and was a great, calm caretaker when we were sick. I'm not sure why I developed emetophobia. My dad WAS emetophobic and would leave the house whenever we were v*. I'm not sure if I picked up on that because I don't remember him freaking out, just leaving.
I am calm on the outside, yet my daughter developed emet around 5 years of age. I think it was due to having Noro and being sick so many times that we had to get her to the ER. My husband and I were both calm, but I think it really impacted her.

[Murder-my-soul]

My mom wouldn't do anything but clean it up. She kind of got mad at me when I told her I was n* (she still does). She would yell at me alot, and she didn't do much comforting. My father I don't think has ever seen me sick except for when I was 13, and there wasn't much he could do. I was curled on the floor in a ball for two days.

[cokelly]

It was a rather dramatic affair in my house every time I was sick for the first few times. I usually was sick at night and the whole house would be up - mum looking after us, dad scrubbing where we had missed the toilet, and my brother generally throwing up in the other bathroom. We usually were only sick when we had tummy bugs and the whole family would get it then as a result! That also meant we were sick more than once in a session.

The next day would be a day to fast (to get rid of the germs) and then the following day have dry toast and maybe a little dinner. Two or three days off school and lots of attention (opposite to those of you who had little care!)

I think if Mum had just left me to it I probably wouldn't be half as bad as I am now: although I was a very dependent child and always wanted my mum :P Nowadays when I'm feeling sick I prefer to be on my own and have my freak outs in private!

[cdelcourt827]

My mom was slightly emetophobic as a child. She still hates to be sick and to see others be sick. Every time I was sick as a child she would react like "oh my god, are you okay?" I think this reaction scared me.

[jmoore10]

From what I'm told, in was sick A LOT as an infant, but grew out of it as I became a toddler.
The two times I was sick as a child (5 & 7) my parents, specially my mom, were wonderful. I was never yelled at or caused to panic or feel bad about it which is a good thing cause I didn't make it to the restroom either time!
My emet developed around 6 and I still have no clue as to why.....

[Skittles04]

my mum wasn't exactly emetophobic, more just that she found it really hard to be around vomit. on the very few occaisions i was sick as a kid, she would be caring and comforting, but from a bit of a distance. but i really don't think that would have been enough to get me emetophobic. i've never actually been sick with my dad, he was never really at home much.

[catlynn]

My mom definately caused my phobia. One time should would be rubbing my back and asking if I was okay with fear in her voice. The next time she would be pissed off and yell "whats the matter with you now". If I v* on the floor then she was horrible. I can still see her now with that mean face yelling at me. One time I got sick outside of a store. I remember her pulling me by my arm up the stairs to the bathroom. She was angry. I believe she taught me it is a scary and bad thing to do!! I love my Mom but I hate the way she treated me when I was sick. By the way she is mentally ill but not an emet. She had 6 kids before me and was probably tired of taking care of kids. She admitted to me once that when she was pregnant with me that she did not really want another baby! Okay! my pity party is over.

[wanted]

I wasn't that often sick when I was little, as I remember, my mom wasn't in panic at all, she hold a bucket for me. Once time I v* at the beach in the evening when we were sitting on the bench. I said I'm not feel and my dad held me in his arms, when I started v* he carried me a few steps and I was still in his arms.
And once I v* in the car,on the towel,and nobody wasn't in panick,my mom just picked up the towel and everything was ok.
So,my phobia has nothing with that.
I think my phobia has to do with my mother v*. I still don't know why she v* often at night,maybe cause she was a little bit fat,but she also has problems with stomach (heartburn..). It was scary to listen that! She was making ugly sounds,very.

[out_of_order]

I think my phobia has to do with my mother v*. I still don't know why she v* often at night,maybe cause she was a little bit fat,but she also has problems with stomach (heartburn..). It was scary to listen that! She was making ugly sounds,very.

This is very interesting because in addition to not being taken care of properly when I was sick (or any other time) my dad also drank a lot and as a result vomited a lot. When you're a little kid, seeing and hearing that is scary. I remember being terrified and grossed out at the same time. So in my case, there was definitely a lot going on in my childhood that built a solid foundation for emetophobia. I felt scared for my dad and helpless because there was nothing I could do to help him stop, at the same time I didn't want that happening to me. We have to remember it doesn't take much to traumatize a small child who doesn't understand adult things.

[scaredsick]

My parents were both great and caring when I would v*...however I remember around age 5 becoming terrified when my brother would v*, because he would always catch it first and then I would know I was next. So whenever he'd be sick I would flip out.

[stoneskipper]

My parents were pretty good about taking care of me, but they did stress the importance of not messing things up - like if I was in the car and felt sick, it was very important that I warn them in time to pull over so I didn't v* in the car. Also, I mostly remember my mom being the one to actually deal with me after it happened and clean up and such, and her attitude seemed more like "here is this step-by-step task I have to accomplish - comfort you, clean this, get medicine, etc." than "oh poor you." Maybe that's a good thing though - better than overreacting to it.

I can't remember ever seeing or hearing either of them v*. I did see my mom gag a couple times, when she was cleaning up something gross. I guess I always got the impression (though I've never asked) that my mom doesn't care that much if it happens, and my dad really doesn't like it but probably doesn't fear it.

[donna1216]

I was only sick on 4 occasions growing up. I remember the 1st time I ever v'ed (that I remember) it was the middle of the night and my mom told me to try to go to the bathroom, so I did, that's when I v'ed....it's the only time I was ever even in the bathroom when it happened (my poor mom!). She just got out of bed, said I probably had a bug, and sent me to bed. She wasn't mad, but she wasn't comforting or nurturing. The next time I was standing on the sofa, brushing her hair while she tutored a neighbor in math, I v'ed all over her and the couch, with no warning. Again, she didn't freak out. So, I don't know where I developed my fear. It wasn't from my family!

[wanted]

This is very interesting because in addition to not being taken care of properly when I was sick (or any other time) my dad also drank a lot and as a result vomited a lot. When you're a little kid, seeing and hearing that is scary. I remember being terrified and grossed out at the same time. So in my case, there was definitely a lot going on in my childhood that built a solid foundation for emetophobia. I felt scared for my dad and helpless because there was nothing I could do to help him stop, at the same time I didn't want that happening to me. We have to remember it doesn't take much to traumatize a small child who doesn't understand adult things.

I'm sorry for your dad.
I remeber I was so scared when my mom v* at night..
Then I made myself n* :S
Thankfully, I didn't hear her for a long time, but I'm still sometimes scared when I hear her entering in the bathroom at night.

[artoo16]

My parents were also very supportive, they sat with me, comforted me, and never made me feel bad for being sick. I was always just terrified of it. I would be in denial, to the point of just throwing up wherever I was because I wouldn't admit that I was sick. My mom gets the sv really bad, she has to go to the hospital every time because the nausea won't go away. She will throw up 30-40 times before she even goes in, it's like she gets stuck in a pattern, and can't get out of it without iv anti-emetics.

My sister has cyclic vomiting, which is essentially the same thing, but it can happen from not even being sick. Maybe just my exposure to it made it so bad for me. Neither one of them is scared of vomit, it doesn't seem to bother them one bit. Weird.

[allie11]

Growing up, my Mom was not scared of V*, but I don't ever remember her being very comforting. I only remember V*ing one time with my Mom and she just stood at the bathroom door and asked if I was okay. She didn't hug me or anything. Also, my father is an alcoholic and would pass out anywhere he was, I just remember growing up feeling very insecure and alone. I think my fear of V*ing is that I will be all alone and feeling terrible. I spoke with a therapist and she said my fear steams from my father being unpredictable. I do not like a lot of unpredictability in my life.

[Erica1649]

They were always there for me when I was ill. Then once I got to a certain age I didn't want anybody in the bathroom with me. Now if I get sick I even run the water and try and mask the sound so others don't hear me.

[hairyfairy]

My parents always acted like it was no big deal, but to me it was, as I found vting really terrifiing, not knowing why it had happened was the worst thing about it then. now it`s the loss of control that`s the worst.

[sunnyskies]

My family was compassionate about it to an extent, but were very distant. Not that I ever demanded anyone be with me as it happened, but no one ever made that effort like I imagine some (maybe few) would do for their kids, and like I hope I can/will do for my kids if I ever were to have them.

Because it was always an isolating experience. Like we do feel sorry for you but we won't be near you. And when I would be sad about it, I got the usual "No one likes to be sick." response. A true statement, but not helpful to a child or to an adult with a fear of it.

[kristylee86]

Wow, some interesting mixed responses, My mum has always had very sick parents, In and out of hospital constantly at doctors appts, So it's no wonder she hates sick people - Which really sucks for me because she would block out that i was sick at times and she is a really deep sleeper and if i woke her up to tell her I'm about to be sick I wouldn't get many cuddles. I remember punching my mum when I was younger cos my cousin was v* and mum wouldn't leave the house. So.i spose her lack of compassion for sick ppl has contributed to my phobia somewhat... That and the little bitch who i had to walk to the office in year one after shr v* and was having a huge anxiety/hysterical crying attack!!"

Thanks lovely people for screwing with my head and life!!!! Gah

[skdenn]

My parents were real loving when I was sick. When I was little, Mom would clean me up while Dad cleaned up the mess. The last time I tu in my bed was when I was eight. It came without warning. Later that night, I got n and v-ed again in the trashcan. When I was little, I seem to remember v-ing with little or no warning. As I got older, I had more warning. Another thing, when I was little, I remember being scared when Mom put the trashcan by my bed because I associated it with v-ing. I vaguely remember Mom saying impatiently, "You don't want to tu on the floor!" Today, I'm still scared of the idea of a trashcan by my bed because I don't want to tempt fate. Well, about being taken care of, Mom would give me crushed ice and sips of water. When I got sick as an adult several years after I moved out, I was scared of being by myself. I went over to Mom's when I started feeling n and v-ed over there. Mom then came back home with me and stayed the rest of the night. She's now in her eighties and my family says she's too old for me to call her at night when I'm scared about feeling sick.

Susan